I fell in love with the way
You told me you'd always be there
And how you complimented
My every flaw
And said I was perfect to you

I fell in love with the way
We are so alike
And how our personalities
Tangle like ivy around an old cottage

I fell in love with the way
You made me feel like nothing else matters
Despite the darkening depression
Deep inside my soul
And the anxiety that riddles me
You made me feel like I was normal
And told me I was still beautiful to you

And ill always love the little things
About you that make me fall hopelessly
In love with you
And I hope, my love, you do not realise
That actually I'm not normal
And actually I'm not perfect
But maybe
Just maybe I'm normal and perfect
To you.

I am bound by the shackles
of rationale and reason.
They wear at my ankles
and wrists.
I pick at the itching scabs.
I know you had the key once,
but you lost it
in a struggle against
your own heart.
Now, you’re sprinting towards me
at full speed,
lock pick in hand.
Face red, you fumble it
with your hands,
like a child’s.
You’re half-sobbing,
half-chuckling
and biting my ear.
The shackles come off.
Then, I lose myself in you
and never find my way out.

as we laid there
in the false light from the ceiling
I felt the need to ask you
how there came to be
two oceans on your face
above a smile when parted
let out pieces of your mind that
I tried to catch
how, in fact, did I come to know
you under those black-rimmed glasses
under a once impenetrable wall
of stone and ivy
how can I drink in
every decibel of your laughter
while knowing I will never drink
from your mouth

Spanish

Fuera, la noche en veste de tragedia solloza
Como una enorme viuda pegada a mis cristales.

  Mi cuarto:…
Por un bello milagro de la luz y del fuego
Mi cuarto es una gruta de oro y gemas raras:
Tiene un musgo tan suave, tan hondo de tapices,
Y es tan vívida y cálida, tan dulce que me creo
Dentro de un corazón…

    Mi lecho que está en blanco es blanco y vaporoso
Como flor de inocencia,
Como espuma de vicio!
  Esta noche hace insomnio;
Hay noches negras, negras, que llevan en la frente
Una rosa de sol…
En estas noches negras y claras no se duerme.

  Y yo te amo, Invierno!
Yo te imagino viejo,
Yo te imagino sabio,
Con un divino cuerpo de marmól palpitante
Que arrastra como un manto regio el peso del Tiempo…
Invierno, yo te amo y soy la primavera…
Yo sonroso, tú nievas:
Tú porque todo sabes,
Yo porque todo sueño…

    …Amémonos por eso!…
    Sobre mi lecho en blanco,
Tan blanco y vaporoso como flor de inocencia,
Como espuma de vicio,
Invierno, Invierno, Invierno,
Caigamos en un ramo de rosas y de lirios!





              English


    Outside the night, dressed in tragedy, sighs
Like an enormous widow fastened to my windowpane.

    My room…
By a wondrous miracle of light and fire
My room is a grotto of gold and precious gems:
With a moss so smooth, so deep its tapestries,
And it is vivid and hot, so sweet I believe
I am inside a heart…

    My bed there in white, is white and vaporous
Like a flower of innocence.
Like the froth of vice!
    This night brings insomnia;
There are black nights, black, which bring forth
One rose of sun…
On these black and clear nights I do not sleep.

    And I love you, Winter!
I imagine you are old,
I imagine you are wise,
With a divine body of beating marble
Which drags the weight of Time like a regal cloak…

Winter, I love you and I am the spring…
I blush, you snow:
Because you know it all,
Because I dream it all…

    We love each other like this!…
    On my bed all in white,
So white and vaporous like the flower of innocence,
Like the froth of vice,
Winter, Winter, Winter,
We fall in a cluster of roses and lilies!

delete

My body aches, shakes with cold
I await the return of my parents.
Head pounds like a kick drum
stomach acid burns, burns, burns.
I love you Mam,
I love you Dad.
But I'm bad. Evil and mad.

Depression comes in two forms;
Extremes. I loved but could not have
and now. Nothingness.
An Arctic sea envelops me.
I love you Mam,
I love you Dad.
But I am bad. Evil and mad.

Alcohol could never save me.
They all love me, then they leave me
take my body and abuse me.
Use me, use me, use me.
Help me Mam.
Help me Dad.
I'm sick. I'm mad, mad, mad.

If I stand before you and tell you how I truly feel would you feel, act, and do the same things you do

Would you love me the same way you do?

Hold me the same way you do?

Touch me the same way you do?

All I’m doin is bein honest

Hey you want an honest chick but I don’t wanna be a total *****

But I stand before you…here to proclaim the truth…

You don’t do what you say I should do

Isn’t this a two-way street?

We stand here together

Two intertwined beings

Wanting to be with each other

My fellow brother

But you seem to be a hypocrite…not sticking to your script

Yea you talk a lot of spit but do you have some substance behind it

Baby don’t get it twisted I’m just a witness to your non- intentional hurting games

I still love you and there is no earthy man that I want to put above you but can you come down to where I stand

A one on one land where I see us on one page…one stage

Performing the same script

No lines missed so I can kiss…

These non-spoken hurts that I don’t want to be carried out on a hearse with no hello or good bye but resurrected through our lips so that you can understand the sway of my hips and where I’m coming from

A place where I want no lies

Where you and I have an understanding to where our two crazy worlds meet and there are combining streets…people wave and say hello…no cold shoulder…no putting up boulders

So I’m trying to say I am here for you and you are here for me

No unspoken words

Don’t keep telling me your hurting and you have a lot on your mind but never say anything

Tell me all of your hurts and desires

I don’t care how it’s put

Slam it on the tables

No myths or fables

All non-fiction

This addiction I have for you cannot be based on unspoken words

I won’t have that

I just want the key to your heart and this true love thing can truly start

So open up your heart baby there are too many unspoken words here

That is not what I want my dear

This needs to be a land where we spill out everything

My junk spilled into yours

Bleeding out of the pores of our hurts, wants and desires

So let this fire of words be spurred

All I want is theses unspoken words to be heard

I lay here open
Open to possibilities and opportunities that present themselves for me with you
But i Can't seem to break through this wall I have put up
A wall made jus for me to protect and keep me from harmful situations
Many contemplations about how am I gonna get through this again
So I kept building and building on my personal wall
Yeah see I built this wall with pain over and over and over  
A lil dab of betrayal
A pinch of some scorn
Oh and shovel full of layers of scar tissue covered with stitches for recovery
Yeah I built this wall meticulously
I would sometimes feel like I'm a guest
Sometimes like an outsider in my own skin
Moving along like a night rider
Nobody seeing me or believing me
So I carry some heavy footgear
Holding them in my rear stow away I use it to move along through life without any scars, or that's what I try to do
This footgear feels great because I can stomp, jump, and even do cartwheels over all my enemies
Ancient conviction
Shindy misleadings all leading up to my success
Leaving me blessed
Riding along this pack train saying hello mufasa and simba
Oh and rifiki is there
What's up....
See I admire their strength and agility
I even know who continues to keep me
A higher power and His name is Jesus
Love Him to pieces
But someone came outta nowhere
Out From left field Try to catch the Foul ball
Jumping over bases and even some left field men
Trying to Break through my wall
Shining some light on my night rider journey
Complicated feelings taking many meanings
My head is spinning
Fear rising...leaving me paralyzed even though I still feel your touch when I'm away from you
I'm scared...even some what terrified that I lie here and all I can think of is you
Wondering if my brain waves can send out a signal over to you so that you know how I feel
See night riders they don't open up
Staying closed
Sign on the door...
No more customers...the day is over
See We ride in the dark
Trying to keep feelings secret
A loner when it comes to sharing emotions
Commotion on the inside but calm on the outside
But maybe you can be my knight in shinning amour breaking down my walls
Chipping and chipping away through all the dust and the rumble
I may even stumble over you but at least I'll be in your arms
Feeling safe through your touch that even peels away some of the hurt
So right now I may be a night rider but I'm moving towards the horizon that is the beginning of some light

A love infinite
A far away dream
Very real
And dry tears
It is I and you
No one
The light
As red star
In the sky
On my own
Reaching
Through you
Blue skies
Summer night