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 Apr 2016 complexify
Axle Avatari
Received the papers today
Served cold
Without emotion
All white and black
And still the unknown
Almost signed like a package delivery
Almost

Reviewed
Everything clinical
Legal words
Legal meanings
Legalities

Dead words
Dead feelings
Dead inside
Dead love
Just a physical reminder
The loss of a dream I once had

Now mixed emotions
Muted
Subdued
Relief
Sadness
Anger
Joy
Sorrow
Grief

She­d a tear in the shower
Just one
Sad that it’s come to this
A relationship worth just one tear
A solitary tear for a solitary love
She once said she loved me
If that was love
I don’t want her love anymore

We talk
About It
How to proceed
Without anger
Without hurting
Without fighting
I’m done fighting
I fought for too many years
Fought for respect
Fought for my rights
Fought for her to understand
She couldn’t
I wouldn’t
We don’t

So here it is
In writing
Stamped
Signed
Delivered

The start of
It’s over

At least we can
Begin moving on
Start to separate
Untangle the broken bonds
Broken dreams
Broken hearts

The loss of a dream I once had
1/11/16
 Apr 2016 complexify
Rumi
A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?



The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.



I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.



I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.



I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.



If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.
It was many and many a year ago,
  In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
  By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
  Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
  In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
  I and my ANNABEL LEE;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
  Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
  In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
  My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
  And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
  In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
  Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
  In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
  Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
  Of those who were older than we—
  Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in heaven above,
  Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
  In her sepulchre there by the sea—
  In her tomb by the side of the sea.
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