Friend

I'm glad to see you
You know me
Want the best for me

Friend

You always have a smile for me
A spare bed for me
A drink for me

Friend

You are my saviour
A treasure
Companion

Friend

You indulge my imagination
You listen
And help me feel human again

Friend

You lift me from my troubles
Setting me straight
You never let me down

Professional Bully
Whispering gossip
Slandering others
Behind their backs
You undermine confidence
Turning weak followers
Against the kindest of souls

Professional bully
You cringe and fawn
With the high ranking order
You flutter your eyelids
At the biggest boss

Professional bully
You are sweetness personified
At the top table
Yet you spit scorn
At subordinates
Despising their weaknesses
Exposing their faults

Professional bully
You play out your childhood
Disguising your agonies
With cold clinical acumen
Titles are everything
And positioning critical
You defend your arrogance
With vicious fury

Professional bully
You have ‘friends’ in high places
Networks of networks
And hidden connections
You are part of club ugly
You tremble in isolation
Workplace your temple
Real life your void

Muddy
Slippery
Wet
Grey
Brown
White
Unpredictable
Quiet
Determined
Curved
Multifaceted
S­leepy
Cross
Layered
Blonde
Brown
Yellow
Green
Speckled
Parallax
H­orizon
Fresh
Mobile
Itinerant
Watching
Silent
Resting

Only
Humans
Know
Death
Will
Come

8.38

and

54

55

56

seconds

Breathe in quickly
Gather more oxygen
To encourage the thought

Widen the eyes
To take it all in

Keep still
Do not talk
Or dare interrupt the moment

But give the thought space
To materialise

And then
Suddenly
There it is

Truth

Apparent
Present
Realised
Understood

Adrenaline surges
Joy flows
And there is peace with oneself
Connection to the universe

A new dawn has broken
Rich with possibilities
Changing everything

The ease with which you point the finger
The speed that you apportion blame
The bubbling groan beneath your lid
Sentinel of poisoned veins

The furnace crackling beneath the ***
The trembling of an iron lid
The hissing of the noxious gas
The pallor of the body’s skin

The line you walk is steep and narrow
With tumbling crevasses either side
The pack you bear is sharp and heavy
The chance of falling ever high

The dreamers dream of transformation
The torrid churning lavas cease,
Pure freshwater streams will flow ahead
To quash the hate and bring the peace

I am the blazing red of leaves
The incisive freshness of air
The rich green of grass
The pure white of clouds

The crisp crunch of fallen leaves
The steamy panting of morning dogs
The zingy tails of running squirrels
The throaty cry of geese on the wing

The diamond reflection of fishing ponds
The gentle sway of willow’s branches
The metallic shine of giant full moon
I am autumn

I am a man
Who is full of holes
I take in too much
For my own heart to hold

I leak through my holes
These tears in my soul
The ripped seams ooze worries
And the brow wears a furrow

I am a man
Who is full of holes
I feel them so sharply
But they just will not close

With needle and cotton
I could stitch up the rents
But then I'd contain it all
And surely explode

For, I am a man
Who is full of holes
I'm walking with weaknesses
Troubles and woes

But I'm true to my heart
And I am what I am
I know that I’ll carry on
Living my plan

These holes will be with me
For all of my days
My leaky creations
And worrisome ways

But I thank imperfections
For serving my conscience
And all of them sparkle
With my own life experience

For I am a man
Who is full of holes
My life is a story
And where next, who knows?

I'll live like a man
Who is upright and true
And show you my heart
It's all I can do

Man
Makes
Woman
Decorate
Man
Leaves
Woman
Stays
Man
Gathers
Woman
Sings
Man
Competes
Women
Unite

Please
Yourself
Please
Others
Please
Others
Please
Yourself

Man
Kills
Woman
Cooks
Man
Rushes
Woman
Slows

Man
Swaps
Woman
Takes
Square
Faced
Round
Beauty

Oddly
Shaped
Different
Sizes
Trees
Both
Tall
Beautiful

Firm
Creative
Deep
Flexible
Man
Woman
All
Gathered

In passing
Curved channels
Of green, brown and blue
I absorb information

‘Easy rider’
‘Star gazer’
‘Barge Gladys’

Where will you go?
Where will you end?

Such labels and markers sing
‘I made this’
‘I made that’
‘I am…this!’

Imprinted pride
Everywhere
Screams out names
For us
To forget

Grazing cows
Pay no heed
To the comings and goings
The ownings and claimings

And why should I?

The efforts of the dead
Our forefathers, foremothers
Rest beneath our feet

We break them
We use them
Unravelling the knots of the past
To smooth a silk pathway
To the future

Life’s suckling femininity
Never ending
A flow of humanity
Beats on

How strange our inventions
How peculiar our spirits

We add something daily
Without even knowing

Is my compassion
Stronger than my greed?

Do I care more for myself
Than I do for others?

What is the balance
That need be struck?

Are the answers
To be found
In nature?

The sun always rises
Tides always turn

The skies fill our lungs with air
The soil welcomes seeds to grow

Birds never cease to sing
Rain waters quench our thirst

Night falls to grant us rest
Stars shine to give us hope

Each day
We awake
To bathe
In lakes of compassion
Without even noticing

Every day
More bad news

More to fear
Propaganda

Corruption, greed, inequality, power, ego

Have we slept for centuries
And awoken to medieval tyrannies?

This world is a stage
But we know the lines too well, do we not?

I listen but I have to switch it off

If I feed my mind with tragedy after tragedy
I will shrink and die

So, you aggressors...
You merchants of war

I refuse to buy your message of mass destruction
I refuse your rush to arms
I refuse to celebrate warring with others
I refuse to slam down my borders
I refuse to sign on your dotted line
And execute your contracts for death machinery

I will build community where I can

I will open the door for you
Clap you
Smile at you
Welcome you
Make a small connection

My gift to you will not be a nuclear bomb

Wash my swollen fingertips
In the salt of tender tears

Press hot sponges
Against my aching belly

Wrap my body
In softest towelling

Cleanse my lungs
With fragrant steam

Massage my rigid muscles
With oils and herbs

Apply tinctures
To heal my fractured soul

Hold my head
With your soft hands

And kiss my eyelids
To ease my mind

Haul me to my feet
And I will stand

To face the jeering crowds
And sharpening knives

Grip my collapsing knees
And I will speak daring truths

Celebrate the greatness in me
That you have never seen

And I will become a man
You can but dream of

Do not be downhearted
Though fine weather
May not delight you

Do not be downhearted
Though the daily news
Seems too desperate to comprehend

Do not be downhearted
Though the scale of global challenges
Seem just too global

You
Just as you are
Can make a difference

If you believe
You can

Birds caress the spring air
With wings that seem to massage
Peaceful pathways overhead

I feel the tiredness of exertion
In my knees and back
But I don’t mind
I relish the open feeling
Of living on this spring day

Until I hear the news

Oh
To be swaddled by such a false sense of indignation
To lie in bedrooms
******* acrid smoke into bitter lungs
Imprisoned by the bars of fear and anger
And dream up desperate acts of destruction

Who would chose such a destiny?

On this magical spring day
The sun sets so beautifully
And the full moon glows orange
In sympathetic reflection

Another day
Memorable for so many reasons
Draws
To a conclusion

Twenty two twenty two
Alone
Quiet
In a private place
In my home
Silent

Twenty two years ago
I was twenty two
And twenty two year before that
I was born

Twenty two twenty two
I would like
To live you
Twice over again

Eighty eight
Is my goal
To live
Two more lifetimes
Perhaps I will become
Twice as wise

If I should ever come to read this
Twenty two years from now
I will remember this moment
With fond nostalgia

Twenty two twenty seven
Five minutes has passed in writing
And I finish
My day

I awake from a nightmare
And feel relief
At the slow realisation
That it was
But a dream

And yet
My body still grips the tension
Of the terror which tormented me
In the dawn hours

The nightmare aroused
Deep anxieties
That I know I carry
And for the morning
I struggle to recover

On this same day
I see a woman
On the seashore
Washing her sore legs with seaweed

The white windmills of Tilbury
Turn the industrially poisoned air
And boys punch each other
At the train station

And then
Music

Created
Sung by brave people
For each other
Lifts me of out of my body
To a higher spiritual plane
Returns me to my memories
Of younger days

I am carried back
Reliving my emotions
Sharing and remembering
Experiences of years gone by

I am older
Yet somehow I am re-connected
To my younger self

My heart swells with emotion
Nostalgia

This is what art can do

This is why I live
With music

This is why I live
With art

What am I supposed to do
When things I rely on don’t work
When I encounter the sadness of other human beings
When I am confronted with dazzling grace and beauty
When I am offered friendship
When I am seeing yellow dots joined by red lines

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do
When the connections I form are severed
When I notice changes all around me
Yet I feel unchanged
When I see two people very much in love
Building a life together
And yet I feel unloved
What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do?

On the freezing hillsides
Of the Brecon beacons
Welsh mountain ponies
And highland cattle graze
Unconcerned by the storm
They rub their itchy backs
Against barbed wire wrapped around wooden posts

Clear water drips from the tips of icicles
Into shimmering mountain streams

And I ask myself
What am I supposed to do?

Why oh why
Do I waste my time
Watching England
Play football?

Each tournament
They invent
A fresh way of
Tormenting their fans
With a new found
Mediocrity
And their total inability
To just
Win

Thick tarry black matter
Clogs my neurones
Blocking the flow

Fragments of metal
Infiltrate my joints
And prevent me
From dancing

Desperate thoughts rise
Surfacing like weighty angels
Shouting
Impossible!
Impossible!
Impossible!

I never knew
That it could be so difficult

I never expected
To experience days like this

And yet

There has been joy

Companionship

Laughter
Closeness

Sunlight
And

Music
Of such purity

Only devils
Would try to disrupt

Days like these

From me
At this tired
Jowly moment
When my face muscles seem
To melt and sag
As my shoulders hunch over
In half-asleep crescent
I somehow produce
Just a few words

I am here
Composing
Reposing
Dozing
While the wheels
Are rolling
And fields
Slip by

While others organise
Their personal effects
And prepare to live out
Just one more day

The drama of Wednesday
11th January
Twenty seventeen
Is now commenced

And I am squeezing
The sponge of my life
As hard as I can
For just a few words

My life has unleashed
A demon within
That tells me
You can’t win
You’re not good enough!

It laughs saying
You are getting too old
It sneers saying
You don’t deserve to be loved

But I am prepared
To fight
To the end
Even if must battle
The demon forever

As long as I fight
I know I can win
And
Tomorrow
I will hope
For a better
Day

The human heart is good
Though too often shrouded by delusion

The human heart is kind
But only serves others when the spirit is strong

The human heart is wise
Yet the mind is often too persuasive

The human heart is unlimited
Though our lifetimes are short

The human heart is unfathomable

No matter how one tries to know it
It can never be fully understood

Today
Loss became abundant
Mortality
Closer

Sitting at the altar of my life
I stare at impermanence
Longing
For release
From my ailing efforts

I repeat and repeat and repeat
And repeat
And somehow
Stand still
Growing ever so slightly
More aged

Trees sigh at my impatience
Whilst birds nest
Huddled in their branches

It is not hard to find inspiration
If one takes care to look

There are good days
And there are bad days

There is light
And there is dark

There is despair
And there is hope

Somehow
There is always hope

To build life around hope
No matter how or why
Is truly courageous

If we can believe in the darkness
We should also believe in the light

Sometimes you just have to take a step forward
Off the precipice
Into the unknown

A lone swan
Will fly across the sky
Searching for its lover

We should fly
Across the skies of our lives
Searching
For happiness

Yes!
I have done it
Yes!
I can plan
Yes!
I'm excited
Yes!
I have won

Yes!
I express myself
Yes!
I build trust
Yes!
I change everything
Yes!
Life's begun

Yes!
I can love
Yes!
I can give
Yes!
I can hope
Yes!
I can breathe

Yes!
I will journey
Yes!
And rejoice
Yes!
I will live
With great pride
And glory

Have I caused offense
By not wearing a poppy?

Have I upset
Keeping my money from that ***?

Am I unpatriotic
By not wearing a 'help for heroes' t shirt?

Am I un-British
For questioning if there are heroes or not?

To sign up for the forces
Requires full obedience
To follow the orders
Of commander in chief

To fight an agenda
Remotely decided
And come back dismembered
To your homeland for what?

'What do you know?
Where have you been?
What have you seen?'  
You may well ask

But I can't help wondering

Why would you go there?
What's great about weapons?
What's fair about killing?
After all, that is what's required

The tides are in
As I journey today
And I carry
A single lemon seed
In my pocket
To remind me
Of the potential
For transformation

Such a seed
Under favourable conditions
Will grow
Nurtured by mystic forces

But in doing so
It must break out
Of the tough shell
That protects
Its inner potential

Sometimes
A seed has to sit
And wait
And wait

For years

The wise carefully transfer
The jewel
Of true heritage
From one
To the next
And nothing is wasted

Today
I decide
To let the universe
Be my guide

To help me find
Hope
From a different source

One disconnected to the
Rotating axis
Of my daily grind

This rush of the modern age
Does not sit well with me

The struggle to keep up, keep up
Makes one feel like you are chasing others

Today I set my own pace
And allow others to join

If they wish

Fanned by the fair winds of the mystic
Like my seed
I can wait

Standing
In a ring
You pray

Overhead
Bells are ringing
Gladly

You obey the rhythm
That you have created
Listening
Watching

The leader
Reorders the movement
You respond
With precision

You rise and fall
Are stretched
And returned

You remain
Fixated
Grounded

Silently you work
Communicating
Subliminally

Sending messages
Above the treetops
Across the town

Tidings
Of hope
Alarums
Of communion

You are
A little known group

Operatives
Of ancient tradition

A community
Of enthusiasts

A family
Of bell ringers

O Fortune
Like the moon
You are changeable

Pounding waves  
Force apart
The sturdy doors
Of my heart

To wash away
This heavy cloak of fatigue

Strength shines
Like a rock

Immutable

Heave **!

Sound the battle cry!

For the love of fellow man

Ripples
Tidal
Coming
And leaving
Mounting
And declining
Embodied
And then disembodied
Apparent
Or hidden
Blocked
Or flowing
Drawn out
Or dissipated
Between two points
Or emanating from one
Electric
Humming
Pure
Stinging
Visible
Or invisible

Dreams

Relationships

Friendships

Soul

Beliefs

Finances

Hope­

Health

Talent

Direction

Laughter

Body

Life


No

No

No

Broken, maybe

But not shattered.

Would you
Could you
Embrace
Me
In my
Filthy
Nakedness?

My hairy
Smelly
Swollen
Gritty
Craggy
Nailly
Grey and paley
Specklediness?

My empty headedness
My peculiarity
My fattening
Tightly
Loosely
Growing
Shrinking
Stretchy
Unstretchiness?

My glossitic
Pharangeal
Gall bladderistic
Liver liquory
Groaning
Folding
Guttiness
Gustiness
Lustiness
Testiculus
Buttocky
Armpitty
Greas­y
Fleecy
Personage?

Could you
Would you
Embrace
This product
Of evolutionary
Engineerance?

This flabbergastable
Uncontrinchable
Everflinchable
Non-delinchable
Pe­rspickinstable?
Blob?

I’m ought
But a nought
A drought
Flout
A Scout
About
Rout
Tout
Out
O
O
O
O
O

You would…?

You...could...?

I am
Amazed
Phased
Crazed
Dazed
Sazed
Madesed
Elazed

And to you
I embrace
Your embrace
With grace
And
A smileiciouss
Splish
On my
Face

A piece of a favourite puzzle
Has slipped beneath our floorboards
No matter what we do
We just can’t bring it back

It’s strange to think
That it will sit
Just beyond our reach
For years and years
And years
Long after I draw my final breath

I’m sorry tiny puzzle piece
You’ll never be reunited
With your brothers and sisters

Never more will you join them
Side by side to reveal a bigger picture

To me you represent
A tiny mishap in the grand scheme of things
In its own small way, this loss has become
Part of the universe’s great disorder

World
Of
Distraction

Created
Invented

Innocuous
Daggers
To *****
The soul

A million
Distractions
Distracting
The living

Swarms
Of
Minutiae
To Fill
The Hole

Thousands
Of
Images
Fluttering
Dancing

Meaningless
Marketing
Slowly
Osmosed
­
Pulsing
Like
Waves
On
A Tidal
Emotion

Keeping
My dreamscapes
Firmly
At Bay

Distracting
Distractions
I follow
A piper

Follow
Wherever
The melody
Floats

Distracting
Distractions
So soft
And
Persistent

Gently
You
Wrestle
The hours
Away

Vincent
You are deeply loved
By your mother
Sister and father
You bear your life
With quiet dignity

Vincent
You suffer in complete silence
Showing the world
Your ability
To endure

Vincent
Yours in not an easy path
Struggle and dependence
Are your constant companions
And yet you draw out love
From everyone you meet

Vincent
You unlock compassion
As quietly you watch
The world turning
In circles of energy

A curtain fell over you
Young Vincent
Shock waves and tremors
Glazing your eyes
As you lost air

You departed from consciousness
Quietly teaching
The fragility of life
On the most ordinary of days

Vincent
You took me back
Twenty years
You unlock memories
From those who have not even met you

Yours is a journey
Unlike another
Quietly
With dignity
You lead
The way

To live
Is to struggle
Yet
Let not the struggle
Be a struggle

Let the struggle
Be a privilege

Brooding skies
Tell me

I am falling

The weight of grey clouds
Like gates of a foreboding vault
Tell me

I am falling

I feel it
In the walls
Of my heart

Drops of sweat gather
About my forehead

My thoughts ache

And yet
I am
An artist

And this is the adventure
For which I have yearned

To be free

Free

Free

So why does freedom
Feel so dangerous?

Why will my tense body
Resist it

Do I wish to cling to the security
Of imprisonment?

I must call upon courage

Deeply possessed
Birth right of all

Limitless oceans of strength
Awaiting those who seek it

And I will believe in the sun
Although invisible to the eye
This morning

It is there
To warm
My juddering soul

For in the storms
We are like mice
Huddling together for safety

Our tears should not be shed in pity
We should hold each other close

For we are human

We have fear
And courage

We possess despair
And hope

We live
Yet we will die

Parcels of time
Spent in rooms
Dreaming

There is no separate me
Just journeys
Through energetic fields

My fingertip
Is
At the end of my being

The space within me
Is
The universe

Some celebrate
Understanding
Others hearts
Beat uninterested
Within

The system feeds itself
As chemicals tell me
This is good
This is bad

Sleep falls
And I avoid pain

To lead an exciting life
Is preferable

Who cares what others may say

Close your eyes
And watch the back of your eyelids
Open your mouth
And just for a while
Let cool air mix with the warmth
At the back of your throat
Rest your legs and let the blood flow up and down
Until your feet are completely rested
Relax your shoulders
Let the tensions of the day
Slip away as easily as water
Flowing down a mountain stream
Rest your fingers on your lap
And let the finger tips tingle with energy
Remember you are whole
One beautiful being
Let your mind wander
Wherever it wants to take you
Let go of the rudder and allow yourself to float
Down the river of your subconscious
Enjoy your nakedness
It is yours to enjoy
Be close to the air and let it soak you
Warm water will bathe your back
And all pain will float away
Like balloons in the breeze
Now listen to your heart
It is beating within you
Showing you the way
Love yourself
Give love freely to yourself
And prepare your heart
For the future

The allure of power and status
Is so attractive to the ordinary human
That it will often lead one
To say and do things
One would not otherwise say or do

Our inner lives are immortal
And to betray our true essence
In pursuit of such goals
Will create a legacy
Borne heavily
Like the chains
Of Jacob Marley

What arises
Will die
And arise
Again

This
Is
The experience of living

The sky
Is magnificent this morning
Dramatic

People stop still
Dazzled by the glow
And take photographs
Driven by the need to remember
To share
To defeat transience
And death

If it can be captured
It can be kept
And we
Will survive
Another day

What arises
Will die
And arise
Again

Parallel lines of
Oranges
Blues
Pinks
Greys
Decorate swathes of puffed cloud

From my window
I watch the craning heads of long grasses
Bowing to the sunrise
Its dazzling palette radiates
Still more fiercely

This unforgettable scene
Presents itself
On a forgettable day

All
A reflection of life
Continuing
Graciously

If I were to live
In the same old way
I would experience
The same old things

So, if I can live
In a different way
I will be taking steps
Into the unknown

I must be crossing new borders
Because I feel
So tired

I am desperately
Avoiding
How I am feeling

Wanting to cut away
From the inertia
Of my inertia

The good words were...
Actively endure
Believe in a better future...

Yet this is the hardest part
To believe

The reason why
I do not know

Part of me wants
To sabotage what I want
What I have created
And so I cry

Protect what you have created!
Celebrate it
Nurture it
Keep nurturing it
Work on it

Even if you take
Just one step forward

Find a way to focus on what you are doing
Do not listen to the voice that wants to topple you

Keep listening to and amplify
The voice that loves you

Find a way to praise yourself
And revere your potential

Live with the confidence of a bird

Constantly improve
On what you are offering

Yearn
Yearn
Yearn

Don’t believe the voice that says you are not capable
Because you are

Keep things simple
Tell things as they are

Find a way forward
Advance where you can

Even a tiny step
Will help

Poeisis
The act of formation
Making
Something
New

I
Am
Making
This
For
You

This
Creation
Lives
For
The first time

In
The minds
Of twenty first
Century
People

Educate
Educere
To Lead
Forth

Educopoiesis?
To lead
Through making?

Making ourselves?
Letting others
Make
Something
Of
Themselves?

Governments
Come
And
Go

They
Are
But
Necessary
Organisers
Of
Passing
Times

But the makers
The educopoeisers
Are
The ones

Who
Make
The
Future

Sometimes I hide away
To dwell on the world
Within myself

But a solitary existence
Will not sustain me
For I cannot halt
The rush of time

The disappearing minutes, hours and days
Lost in contemplation
Of an unknown future

Meetings with kindred spirits
Represent the best of times
They are the fabric of fond memories
The foundation of spiritual growth

And so I must reach out further
To connect with others

To find things
That I like about myself
And build on them
Steadily

To develop
My confidence
My kindness
My wisdom

Before time
In this brief lifetime
Runs out

Flat
Quiet
Drained
Empty
You sit
Present
For all
To see

Please revive
Yourself
Treasured one
You are here
With us
Eternally

This wonderful being
Needing friendship now
Is struggling hard
Struggling hard

Don’t give up
Dear friend
Keep trying
Shoulder to shoulder
We will help you rise
To let the sunlight
Pour over you

Nothing stays still
Everything changes
Even mountains will move
In time

Your life will grow
And flowers bloom
Amongst the vibrant
Spring

How fortunate
The view
From my eyes

Everything I need
Is at hand

The russet colours
Of autumn
Abound
Dazzling

Whilst houses sit
Quietly decaying
The seasons change
Around them
Palette of life
Transforming, renewing

This, most magnificent time of year
This twilight time
Cleanses my soul

Trees exhibit a final display of splendour
Variant with each passing day
Crisp with colour

And people
Great people
Their hearts ablaze
Come together
United through art
Joined in song
To share their lives
To share this day

Money for food
Money for housing
Money for transport
Money for warmth

Money for the council
Money for insurance
Money for clothing
Money for washing

Money for watching
Money for joining
Money for making
Money for living

Money
Money
Money
Money

What comes in
Goes straight on out
What goes out
Goes somewhere

Somebody somewhere
Is getting
Rich
Whilst I
Seem to be getting poor

I have my family
I have my bed
I have some things that others don’t
I have my pride
And I have my dignity
And I have hope
Hope

To build up my account with hope
And widen my circle of friends
Is
And will be
The greatest gift
Of all

A giant amber moon
Rises over the dusky estuary
Two black birds fly west
And a great ship eases silently out to sea

Coastal lights flicker
As musty salt-sea air
Hovers round street lamps

Silhouetted trees
Smile upon swaying reeds
And a saxophone blows
Sweet as chocolate

Roses fade in the twilight
Reds, pinks and yellows
All turning to darkness

This is my precious time
Alone
To witness
The magnificent amber moon
On the rise