I would have been burned at the stake
Had I been born then
So God didn't send me there

You feel expired
Like the milk in the fridge
It's got a lump or two
And the lettuce is fused
To the drawer
The garbage disposal makes a sound
Like it's grinding steel wire
It might be from that art project you did
When you tried to make a figurine
And got too tired
So you set it in the sink
To forget about it
But that's okay
Ramen noodles take a while to go bad
But those Cup 'O' Noodles
Get a bit crusty
After a few months
The dripping from the faucet
Doesn't really matter
Because the only reason for the bathroom
Is to empty your bladder
And sit
With your head in your hands
Before you head back to the bedroom
And wonder
What am I even doing?
Why does thinking hurt?
It's a lot of work
When your favorite color
Is grey

I sit in silence
To sing the sounds of a sitar
It's hard
I can't really do that
That "pew weeeew" sound
I sound more like an alarm
I bet it could definitely wake people up
If I were loud enough
But my voice doesn't carry well
Regardless, why would I want to disturb sleep?
When it's something that people
So desperately need
I guess to be alive
Being bound in this metal cast
I bet I could program my voice to do that
To sound just like a sitar
But it would probably sound slightly
Mechanical
Methodical
And that's not what I'm going for here

sometimes I think I am loveless and cold, and that's why I hate the heat and get sick all the time
but she reminded me of all the love I do have
love that fills the room and echoes like a choir's song on a Sunday
love that burns through me like a match in a grassy field
I have love for the trees and for the river and for the smooth rocks and even for the jagged ones that cut my knees
there is love every time she forgets to put on sunscreen and there is love when I take care of her so she can be high on acid
I give love to my father and mother, who watched me destroy myself for years and held my hand as I walked out of the darkness
but I think most important of all
is that I have love for myself
for my scars and my freckles and my stretch marks and my illness and my flat feet and my small hands and my messy hair and my sweaty palms and for everything that makes me who I am
I have love
-