this is a rant
on who the painter is who paints a white canvas.
who makes it blank, all the same?
Who paints with one color, the confused?
My painter, the one who created this canvas
this universe this creation
paints with many shades of
variance. He paints not
one nation, not one race, not one star, not one season,
he paints
many faces,
many days all different
many nights some dark
some radiant.
He painted  us the colors
of all of heaven. Gave us the many shades of gray.
He painted a sunrise yellow of goldest glow,
a night to see the day with a new perspective.
He painted choices right
and painted us the freedom to choose.
Trees of many green with barks light and dark
some are white. All are right.
Remember who painted this.
He painted a sky
not always blue.

Still it is marvelous
You, walking around the house
In tip-toe, so, not to wake me
When you have tip-toed into my heart
Every path leading to me
The sidewalks blooming with flowers
I came to meet you half-way
And held your hand to walk besides me
A path that led me to your heart
Your beauty revealed with every walk
Now, I long for those long walks
Along the boulevard of our dreams
In twilight, we will walk away from sunset
Towards our abode lit with love
Waiting for dawn to take another walk

I was a preemie.
Fate tried to **** me
Before I was born.
My poor beleaguered mom
Fell off a chair while pregnant
With me... thus did I come
Into the world.
Beat up from the feet up
And lookin' like a prune...

My childhood was horrific.
I have huge holes in memory.
I can only tell you I was
Starved of love and terribly
Neglected. Mercifully
I don't recall the molestation
And assault I know I endured.
It wasn't my parent's fault.
My father worked 16 hour days
And mom had blinding migraines.
And undiagnosed behavioral
Health problems. She is bi-polar.
But what I remember most vividly
Are the trips to visit my mother's
Sister and her family.
In the Sangre De Cristo
Mountains of New Mexico
Up above Taos.
My mind touched furred mountains
And inhaled the aromas
Of sounds... aspen's disc leaves
Sibilantly soughing
And the Red River flowing
Through resplendent green.
Indian paintbrush and columbine
Sparking on the verges of roads
And nodding their soft blue heads
Respectively.
Once we took a hike to
Horseshoe lake, and
Caught flashing trout,
Their scales making rainbows
To grace their silver sides.
We ate well that night!
On the way home it rained.
A cold, piercing downpour
That soaked our clothes.
All the other kids cried.
But not me.
I was in fairyland.
Coming from the
Sonoran desert I've always
Loved the rain...

The rest of my life I fared
Little better as far as fate
Meted me out a VERY tough
Hand. But I remember
The long hikes on Venice Beach
boardwalk... I walked 8-10 miles
A day. And lost a total of 138 lbs.

I've had to fight like Muhammad Ali
For every square inch of joy.

But I still float like a butterfly...
... and I really try to put a cap
On my stinger. I have one.
But I want to go through this life
As wise as a serpent... gentle as a dove.

Because now I know that
all I've gone through
Had a definite purpose.
I'm a Blues Brother's sister...

... on a mission from God.

But it's never about ME.
IT'S ABOUT

H I M.


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) September 16, 2014

Best poems are lost in the morn's toothbrush
wash away with rinse fade like first crush
run away with the trail of the bus you miss
fly with summer clouds melt like first kiss!

Best poems are lost with the winds' dusty blow
half seen half known through half shut window
burn away like fire on a long winter night
lure with contour eluding full sight!

Best poems are lost in the crescent moon's glow
when your mind is too weary head hits pillow
evanesce like youthful time smoothness of face
undecoded hieroglyph untraced address!

Best poems are lost like petals in the rain
in the race for vain pride rush for self gain
seen through smoked glass pages unread
crumbling with time wasted like ****!

Your smile is the poetry
I was never able to write
For it never had words
An honest expression of your soul
Unmatched radiance across your face
Poetry which is most eloquent
Recited from your heart to mine

Future is cocooned in the dreams you weave

Friends are like parents
who hold us
when our steps falter.

Friends are like siblings
great to fight with
great to celebrate with.

Friends are like mirrors
they never let you
fool yourself.

Friends are like the weather
your personal sunshine
on a rainy day.

Friends are like make up
they always make you
look better.

Friends are like alcohol
they always
put you on a high.

CHEERS TO FRIENDSHIP...