No music, no sound, no scream
Could justify the magnitude;
Slice through or overcome this storm.
You held the power, the love,
Strong enough to lift me
From the edge of a cliff;
To pull me out of the ocean
Back to a land where I stood alone.

Once upon, not too long ago
You had that bit of faith
That I needed, to ground me:
Hold my broken parts close
Steady my crumbling walls
Keep my world from falling apart.
Overwhelm this oppression;
A breath of fresh air amidst smoke.

I say I still love you
Though I love you not

I wanted you to stay
Yet I hated every moment

I tried so hard to build beauty
Heeding all your flawed instructions

Trying too hard to be perfect
Not an inkling that I'm destroying it

Not seeing perfection
Even with it right in front of me

Sometimes I hear the music
Secretly paying in my ears;
Even when I cannot begin
To envision your presence.

Sometimes I see the stars
Wink at my tear stained face;
Even when there are in fact
No stars in the solemn sky.

Sometimes I feel your kiss
Lingering on my bare skin;
Even when you have long
Closed the door to you and I.

The stars have forsaken me
My love,
Will you do the same

The sun has long taken departure
It's me that I blame

My rights have long written away
In those others name's

My love is all I've left to offer
You,
My only claim.

I cherished our love
All through thick and thin
Through every single one of our quarrels
Yet you waved me away once
Then again and again and again
"*******" you screamed in my face
Before i even managed to forgive
The sting your slap left on my cheeks
As tears coursed down my face solemnly
But indifferently you just walked away
In that very instant my heart shattered
I felt broken into a million pieces
Like an unamendable piece of torn art work
These scars you left a memory of what we once were
Yet you don't see why i said so
Nor why not...

We determine who we are
By what we do.
The choices we've made
Forever our own.
The flip switch we never saw
Is hidden in you.

I feel thoughts
Discussing,
Struggling,
Fighting,
Screaming,
Shouting,
within my brain...
An endless war,
The lank bloodshed...

You are all words and no action
Never meaning things you said
Empty threats and endless pain
Screaming through my skull
Into the recesses of my mind.

It was never a conscious decision
Yet i walked into my own deceit
As though it was only a stroll
Regretting only after the mistake
Why do we ambush ourselves
Why do we fall for our lies
Why are we our very victims
Why is this riddle endless
When will we solve this quest
How can we cure the wounds
This very self inflicted agony

Love is the drug we take
Turning our lives into a disaster
Addictions are uncontrollable
They never make you happy
Forever
They never stay the same
Forever
Suffer the consequences
Of choices you make
Of mistakes you make

June will kiss you and spell the extent of your beauty.

July will ******* senseless and leave you with a wailing heart.

August will pick up your broken pieces only to get cut.

September will brutally bruise you and jeer at your absurd fragility.

January will snap you in half and watch as you scream and cry on the floor.

February will be an ocean of self destruction, washing over you and gently cradling you in it’s arms.

March is broken records all over your apartment floor and getting wasted at ten in the morning.

April is blood in the sink, crying yourself to sleep, shaky hands and breaking down everywhere you go.

May is a storm forming in your eyes when you realize that you need to save yourself, because you stopped loving yourself for to long, and they stopped loving you too.

When they tell you that wounds will heal, you know that its all a lie.

No bandage could cover the wounds.
No love could cure this heart.
The world has not technically stopped.

But it has, down deep, inside of me.
A flame has been extinguished,
My voice, left incapable.

Each muscle, each breathe.
Lapsed into a numbness so ******.
My heart beats, against the walls encasing it.

Holding it there, steadily,
in case it tries to break free.
Like the caged animal it is.

The throbbing in my veins.
The pounding beats of my heart.
So powerful they invade my thoughts.

Hijacking the only thing I have control over.
The only thing I have left.
But they're unceremonious murderers,
Entrapped, could defeat.