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 May 2020
SøułSurvivør
THE RAIN IS SO DARK

The time of dad's passing
I've been restrained
All the day long
I've looked at the rain.

There isn't a smouldering
Hint of a spark
I can't see for nothin'
The rain is so dark.

The stormclouds are following
One on another
They tred on the heels
They're so close together.

The date of a death
Is when pain was born
There seem to be many
One endless storm.

The first major hurricane
2020 has seen
Was the health & work crisis
Of COVID-19

Then the stress on good friendships
Because of the news
People fussing & fighting
For differing views.

THEN Minneapolis
Had a white killer cop
And others stood by
As a black man's heart stopped!

Now, these are DEATHS!
We HAVE to RECEIVE!
Deaths of our innocence
We no longer believe
In man's basic goodness
No way it's retrieved
We must accept now
And we have to GRIEVE.

My father survived WWII
Lived 93 years in this mortal stew.
But now he's left... years ago? TWO.

When I was a child
Oh, SO long ago
I used to LOVE thunderstorms...

... what did I know?

R.I.P. Clinton Eugene Jarvis

Cathy Jarvis
(C) 5/30/2020
 May 2020
Graff1980
She has been such a generous familiar,
having given much to many.

Has been entering and leaving
ever since it all began,
ever present
before we called it
summer,
spring, fall,
or winter.

The face of many forms
wearing that of mother,
brother, father, friends
or past lover
who will not
come again.

She has been gentle
with a serene beauty,
and brutally
violent,
with such depravity,
and callous cruelty.

She has been
in memories
and anxious fantasies
of things that
may never be.

I hope that
perhaps she
will take me
while I am sleeping.
 May 2020
Graff1980
Forgive me
for my level of
gross insensitivity.

Please pardon
my passing stares,
forgo those old
fierce glares.

I did not mean to
act up and offend you.
Its just that
I like to look at
beautiful things.

I know you think
I am some sort of creep,
but I observe many
lovely things
from flowing waters
foaming up
as they chase the sands,
pulling beach back in
this gorgeous ocean,

or the feline creature
who gracefully moves
at her own leisure,
with her slick black fur streaks
as she sneaks and seeks
something squirmy to eat,
such a predatory work of art,

or the pink flower unfolded,
long before her blooms
are consumed
by time’s terrible decay.

Please allow me this
as a lonely artist,
I am merely appreciating
the art that is
your loveliness.
 May 2020
Graff1980
We will return our grief
give back nutrients
to the trees
and their leaves.

We will settle down
on soft brown ground,
a bed like mound
to rest at ease.

This will be our peace.
 May 2020
Graff1980
I loved my unfettered solitude.

Until, time took my disposition
and made it the human mission
to remain secluded from everyone.

I loved moving into people’s view
like little leaky drips,
just giving them sugary drops
so that when it stops
I leave them wanting more.

But that was before
closing the door
was a mandate,
and my natural state
became something I hate
cause it causes tear stains
of familiar pains
that I thought
had longs since got lost
in a past I forgot.
 May 2020
Graff1980
At times
I have made light
of their crimes,

turned grievous wounds
into weak bee stings
so you could see these things
in softer shades than me.

I have turned night into day
and watched those I love
dance and play
embraced by beautiful rays
while I stay awake
in the darker hours.

I have used poetry and levity
to elevate strangers above me
despite our shared suffering.

I have scoffed at my pain,
lay bleeding to death
while I stifled tears and dressed
pin ****** and paper cuts.

I have felt your sorrow,
and put your comfort
above my well-being,
but now I am seeing
that it might not have been
the right thing to do,

because you
have gotten far too fat and lazy
laying in the excrement
of your own ignorance.

Though, I have doubted much,
I do not doubt this,
and I am tired of trying to educate
those who no longer wish
or have never even desired
to be better than
the racist redneck men
who inspired them
to give in to fear and hate.
 May 2020
Graff1980
My dear I know it should be clear,
but I fear to tread and tarry here,
because your madness is so appealing.

Revealing
eyes of passion blue,
that burn with the ill-intent
of what you plan to do,

the furies you will harness
going from seriously harmless
to sinister in seconds.

Yet, red wet lips are made for stealing
the warm affections that I’m withholding,
withdrawing deposits, I should be saving
for another worthy lover,

but your disposition is enslaving,
ensnaring me in in your insanity
as if it was a bear trap.
I can feel my bones snap
as my will collapses.
So, I lay back
to submit to
what you will do.

Until, you leave me dying
and drying
from an unquenched thirst
and a deep hue of blue
that hurts worse
then the pain you caused
while you were here.
 May 2020
Graff1980
I am not depressed.
I’m just revisiting
similar settings
where I was possessed
by depths
of melancholia
that I thought
no longer had
any hold on me.

I am not crying
except in dreams,
from which I wake
to escape sad scenes
of strange things
that never happened.

I not despondent.
I’m sure I will
respond if
someone
asks me to.

But this room does feel cold.
I have been sleeping a lot today.
Need to workout
but my gym is closed
and I have forgotten
how it feels to be passionate enough
to workout at home.

I am fine.
I swear that everything is ok.
I’ll see you tomorrow
whilst I stew over
the pains that slew
my yesterday moods.
 May 2020
Graff1980
Life’s the poison that you make
to take as your breakfast shake
just to go out and face
the coal and the rake
that runs you down
and burns you all over the place,
and the symptoms that you see
are the result of our shared social disease.

Some grow immune.
Some just get dull,
and nothing is all
that they can feel.

Some spend a life
in states of stress
burning through
the brain they have
till they’re broken
and raving mad.
 May 2020
Indeed
he don't want to keep feelings this way,
because each time he come closer as I move away.
he don't want to seem desperate or unwanted at all,
he just want me to catch him each time when he fall.
he's so tired of always being that first,
he want more that just but don't wanna get hurt.
and as I spill these simple rhyme,
his mind goes looking for me time by time.
why didn't I ask him to dance ?,
during that slow song of endless romance.
can't believe he knew me so well from the start,
now he feels pathetic when I mess with my heart.
he considers me ; I'm just a good day and a stormy night,
just another me that leads him to fright.
#there's a boy
 May 2020
Graff1980
Its work time and I am
earning my pay
by seeing the day
fade quickly away,
while I am forced to
stay glued to
the CCTV
I watch for security.

Camera distortions
of strange changing proportions
shift from shades of blue
to blobs of green,

as my fatigued brain is sprained
trying to come up with
some sort of quiet game.

I listen to the cooling system.
I listen to the elevator.
I listen to the world outside
wishing that it was so much later.
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