To Jassem: you were not as Mon said someone I used for inspiration, not in a perverted, impure way, but a muse to my expanding feelings and making sense of them through writing; I sincerely, deeply felt for you; neither knew how to communicate.

Returning to self, to my creations, my creativity, rather than further harbouring a shared misery, sunbathing underneath our mutual insecurities, unresolved trauma, pent-up feelings. I set you free, as you wished; I let go a few years ago, bit by bit.

Another dedication to the very same Taurus person; rather finding his voice soothing, and using self-expression and creative freedom to waltz with it.

Looking back at a bond I had with a former best friend; struggling to fit in, washed by guilt, past wounds, and the innocent desire of wishing him would've seen my reconciliation intentions as pure; alas, we both were barely afloat.

Reminiscing physical pain, severe coughing, which complemented a parallel reality I was tangled within: betrayal from the one I loved the most; supposedly a way of the universe to choke me with the truth I denied: me and her were no longer aligned.

I am striving to comprehend and picture a former partner's depression and self-hatred through intuitive, immediate writing, where her subconscious is bathed in shame, negative self-talk, guilt, and wounds that open, uncleaned by herself or others. My own hands are stained, wrapping myself around her, aiming to alter her misery, which found a stable companion in me; suffocating myself in self-abandonment.