I once got lectured by a personal with an std I think that's the last person who should be giving *** advice.
This couple asked me for relationship advice and I'm single what would I know.
The last time I went on a date this girl made me take her out I thought you asked the girl out.
My last girlfriend didn't understand its over maybe she thought I mean I was over being alone
I told my friend I don't drink he offered me a beer.
This girl told me she liked me and got a boyfriend a week later.
Called a girl the wrong name and she never called me again

I've learned I can't please everyone embraced my haters
I'm happy with myself not trying to be someone I'm not
I love myself more I'm one if a kind not like the rest
Others might not agree and protest I hope one day they understand
See the world my way I'm responsible for what I say
I've learned it's not my responsibility to if you don't understand
You might hate who I respect but your views don't influence my judgement
Treat me bad you won't get a response your nit going to bully or throw fits to get your way
Thinking of how to be a better me
Which means everything
I never gave into your way get over yourself
I'm me not you the difference is I'm true while your cold and blue

Somewhere
there is a spellbinder
and I will find her
out where
the air is clear.
I feel her near to me
I so want to be
bound.

Found in her eyes
I would look in surprise
on another place
which smiles out of her face
and into my mind.

It's a kind of delusion, a fantasy,
a Peter Pan story
but for me it is real.
It's the seal on a contract
a dance with reality
a waltz across the dreaming sea
It's true
It just has to be.
Or why do I dream every night
Why do the stars scatter light on my brow
How can it not be so?
Tell me
I want to know.

And no answer was forthcoming.
In summing up
and thumbing my nose at them that don't know
I go on.

The truth is
It always existed
The dreams that consist of a better day
arrive in the night at the dousing of lights
and in a slow way
that slowly begins to feel okay
they say to me,
'I'm real
you see that it's true
why doubt
this is not about me
it's about you'

And the binding goes on
Long after the spellbinder has gone
her spells stay awake
make me ache
with a longing
She's put the song in
my heart.

Grew up with my best friends
made my own family
Don't like the way things are so I change them
Holes in my chucks trying to make a buck
Moving forward with life
no more being down on my luck
Girls always hate
the consequences for dating
We had a thing you denied us
now i moved on you cried not a lust
Not sure what to say
Live life no regret anyway
It's over not trying to stay
Small town called the crown
Full of brown in this town
Nonsense talk about being down
Circle city formal race trace
History lesson take you back in the day
Hometown I grew up
Heart is in to places different faces
Different phases cleaned up my act

Emotions I don't need
No pain and nothing on which the hurt can feed.
Emotions I don't need.

Locked out from the in..and how to begin?
Relationships trip me up
Friendships lock me out.
I really should learn what this life's all about
Emotions I don't need.

Floating on the salt of the tears that collect..do I want to connect with that?
My world is flat not round..there is no common ground..I cannot relate to the state of my heart.
..and how to stay apart and be a part is the question that raises its head.
A single bed is a dead place..and how do I face the fears..the advancing years?
Alone.
Emotions I don't need.

To stay in this vacuum..this sealed room and meet my doom is the future I see.
I can't love you..you don't know me and this is the way I am trapped..it will be said at the end..when no friends come to my grave..
..that this was a man all alone with no home and no hope..how did he cope with the silence?
In my defence, if I could I would say..it was the only way I knew how to get through the day..
..I built my walls high and I defended them well..
..though I think I built myself into a hell..it's too late now to find a loving anyhow..
..Emotions I don't need.

You entered the single
factory door
into a noisy
and busy shop floor

with a guy called Brian
who was older than you
and had a worn
and worried expression

a foreman came
and asked Brian to go with him
and set him to some job
over the way

then he came to you
and said
what’s your name?
Collins

you said
right Colin
he said
follow me

and you were puzzled
why he had called you Colin
as you followed him
down the aisle

between machines
and people
he introduced you
to a middle aged dame

with glasses
who was short
and dumpy
there was another dame there

who was thinner
and a bit younger
who smiled
the plump dame

showed you around
her department
and set you to work
on a drilling machine

where you worked
most of the morning
then you had to go
to the work office

where a dame sat
you gave her the job sheet
how long were you
on the job?

she asked
about 6 inches
you said
she looked at you

a hint of a smile
on her lips
how long?
she repeated

how long what?
you asked
how long in time
were you on the job?

she said slowly
you said
3 hours it says here
mmmm

she said
you’re new aren’t you?
no
you replied

I’ve been around
for 21 years or so
she gazed at you
with her dark eyes

her lips were about to speak
but she nodded
then shut
the slide window

leaving you staring
at the window glass
you walked back
through the aisle

towards the plump dame
and her department
ready for the next job
before lunch

hoping it wasn’t
another drilling operation
but assembly
or cranking

or any other job
than drilling
thinking of the dame
in the office

and something
more thrilling.

1.
This century
His end may not make the news
Nor for this year
Nor this month.



2.
But for this day
His end would make serious dent
As he holds her hand
To weather this storm.



3.
Yes, on their knees, they sob
For 'tis not only his end
Which would mark heavy plight
Three felt it in this sad twist.



4.
Beautiful burden....
Gone for good.
Tears bring back nought:
They both lost out....this day.



S T, 12 April 2013