I sleep.
Inside my mind, there is a wild world, while on the outside, everything is dark mean and slowly fading to the deep of the self absorbed.  


Each and every corner of my imagination blooms with a vivid vision of tomorrow.  
The breath of each day moves in and out slowly while the vision of tomorrow slowly becomes my today.  

I sleep.
I don’t believe in suicide, but sleep is temporary.  I don’t believe that love is blind unless you dull your eyes to the beauty that lasts inside.  It dwells forever.  It penetrates the hearts of those who open their eyes.  They see the beauty through the ugly and through the hate.

My mind is not just a dull place I go to.  It is a whole world that is still yet unexplored even to me who possesses it.  My mind is equivalent to the deepest parts of the ocean.  I know its there, I just need to summon up the imagination to explore it.

I sleep.
This is not a poem.  Rather, this is a letter from my mind to your hands.  
I need to write down my thoughts.  I cried.  I think that I cry because there is no hope for me in this barren part of the country.  I cry for freedom from myself and from the world. The negativity is a shackle that binds me to home.  The secrets that I keep hold me back. I just want to float through life. I want to float through life like a speck of pollen.  It is small, but it goes on a great adventure, and eventually brings life to the object needing it the most.  

My mind is my only escape. I look forward to sleeping, so that I can travel to a new world that has yet to be explored.  I don’t know how to describe the strongest longings of my heart on a page.  I guess it’s almost like how a mother feels when she learns that there is a new soul that grows in her.  I have so many dreams for myself.  I just don’t know how to make them my reality.  Some one told me once that dreams come true, but they didn’t say that nightmares did as well.  I think that just being stuck here in this quaint drug infested, alcohol infected, *** addicted, littering, molesting town is my nightmare.  The town taunts me with my thoughts and dreams.  It whispers to me every night when I dream that I cannot escape.  Its like a melody wanting to play freely and rampantly from the page that its written on.  The world ways down my love.  I think that with out my dreams, I would just deteriorate.  Disintegrate.  Fall in to the trap.  Become part of the sands of time.  My worst nightmare.

The spider, dropping down from twig,
Unfolds a plan of her devising,
A thin premeditated rig
To use in rising.

And all that journey down through space,
In cool descent and loyal hearted,
She spins a ladder to the place
From where she started.

Thus I, gone forth as spiders do
In spider's web a truth discerning,
Attach one silken thread to you
For my returning.

Nights like this
Are the nights that will **** me.

Nights when translucent ghosts
Drape their long arms

Around my waist and take me
Waltzing across you bedroom ceiling;

Nights when sad songs pour
Out of the cracked walls

And fill my heart
With their bittersweet nostalgia;

Nights when my body freezes
In its despairing loneliness,

Cold stone wrapped in stiff sheets
And sopping pillows.

Nights like this,
I lie awake, aware of

The tangible emptiness,
The stale smell of grief.

Nights like this,
I **** myself the way I killed you,

I break the way you did:
Delicately, like the slivered backs

Of infant birds
Left the nest too soon;

Like thunder collapsing,
Shaking cupboards and windows

In time with our trembling shoulders.
You told me, you told me

"I can't just forget this like you can."
But I don't forget.

Like a soldier cut open
By the knife she obliged herself,

I bleed.
I hold my insides

Inside, cram you back
Deep into my chest,

Wrap memories around my spine
A spiral  staircase of sorrow and

Sweet intentions, where no one will see
The trail of blood

Save for me.

I,
I do not escape this.

I cannot cast aside
Ashen remains, box up burning coals.

I can only carry them with me,
A red thread around my finger

Burning your name in my skin.
I carry my sorrow like a crow on my shoulder;

It pecks on my neck sharp reminders
And gorges on my acute isolation.

You say I forget,
But nights like this,

I remember everything
And regret nothing,

Even on nights like this
When all of me screams

But nothing hurts.

She who did not come, wasn't she determined
nonetheless to organize and decorate my heart?
If we had to exist to become the one we love,
what would the heart have to create?

Lovely joy left blank, perhaps you are
the center of all my labors and my loves.
If I've wept for you so much, it's because
I preferred you among so many outlined joys.

After she drank his bitter wine of selfish, pathetic love
She slyly sang him her haunted chant
"The laughs on you", she crooned in her soft malicious tune

At times, she could act with chicane
She had many charms when treated well...
Deadly ones - when not
Oh yes...
She herself may at times have sinned
But he-had the stain of evil, paltry love

Now...Inside her gossamer labyrinth she lay
Carefully, diligently spinning her web
Revealing nothing-and everything
She'd weave her silky snare inside his heart
Laying her toxic eggs of betrayed despair
Spinning her poisonus venom of painful truth

Oh yes...
Her bite is deadly now
She could have been his 'Velvet Rose'
But, he crushed her petals rare
Ending her silken dreams
With his evil malicious schemes
Her spider's web became untethered
Attaching itself by a single thread
To his shoddy veil of evil, selfish love
    Now...She is the hunter
    And...He is the hunted
In the coming eve...
She'd deliver her poisonous, lethal sting
He'd be noones's lover now
Her threads would cut his miserable flesh
Her deadly venom would seal his fate
Remaining nothing more
Than an ancient, slithering shadow
All along the castle walls

For some time a deadly secret she doth keep
"Revenge”, she whispers, while he sleeps

She was once his only lady
With ivory skin and beauty fair
She fed him nectar from her raven hair
His betrayal seared her hemorrhaged heart
She'd warned him with many words and fiery stares

"Thou shalt not indulge in wicked fare
Be ever so watchful, do not betray
Beware, where thou heart doth leave
Take heed" said she, "Just who thy seed deceives".

In her chamber dark at night, this maiden fair
Planned his demise with scourged nectar, bitter sweet
Stirring her venomous, poisonous treat
Or would dagger to his heart she’d plant
Bid him die a dark and painful lingering death
Upon his sleeping body that she'd leave
As she crept silently into his chamber -
These words she bitterly but victoriously said...

"Thou shalt betray no more.
Thou has sinned against me...
Taken my love in shame
"Betray no more", she said".
     But now
Thou is thankfully, forever DEAD!"

Her silken threads had cut his miserable flesh
Her deadly venom had sealed his fate
    Now...he remained nothing more
Than an ancient, slithering shadow...
All along her castle walls

You shower, shave, and dress up nice
A night out on the town
The boys and you are heading out
Some beer you all will down

HAIR DONE, ON TO MAKE-UP NEXT
DO I LOOK GOOD IN THIS?
I DON'T WANT TO LOOK TOO EASY
IN CASE SOMEONE WANTS A KISS

The bar stools all sit vacant
As the boys arrive at nine
The band is getting started
The beer is cold, that's fine

WE GOT A TABLE IN THE CORNER
WE CAN WATCH THE GUYS AND SEE
IF THERE'S ANYBODY HERE TONIGHT
THAT REALLY INTERESTS ME

You catch the eye of a young girl
Sitting with her group of friends
You bet the boys a beer or two
On how the night will end

YOU SMILE AT THE BROWN EYED MAN
HE LEAVES THE BAR TO COME ACROSS
FROM WHERE YOU SIT HE LOOKS OK
TONIGHT WON'T BE A LOSS

Sitting with four girls  is strange
Trying to separate the herd
Three get up to dance although
You can't hear a single word

HE TAKES THE TIME TO TALK TO ME
I LIKE THE WAY HE THINKS
HE EVEN ASKED THE OTHER GIRLS
AND THEN HE ORDERED DRINKS

The game goes on between these two
As the night comes to an end
He sidles up to his buddies and
He talks of his new friend

PLANS ARE MADE TO MEET AGAIN
HE'S TOO SHY TO MAKE A PASS
HE'S NOT THE KIND TO KISS ME OFF
THIS ONE HAS GOT SOME CLASS

Weeks go by, with many dates
Both with friends and you alone
At some point the relationship
Takes on a different tone

I'VE BEEN HURT ON SOME OCCASIONS
BUT, WITH HIM, I FEEL A CHANGE
I THINK I MAY JUST LOVE HIM
WHEN HE'S NEAR I FEEL REAL STRANGE

She listens to my stories and
Laughs when jokes are bad
She makes me feel so special
It's a feeling I've not had

WHEN DID THE HEART TAKE OVER?
When did the "Me" become a "We"?
When was the "M" inverted?
I think a couple we will be

This tale goes on each evening
In restaurants and in cars
The night has no expectations
And in the end you're counting stars

At some point you will notice
As your friends move to the back
That true love comes without notice
As being single fades to black.....