circus clown: Favorites

Mar 2014 circus clown

Chris

You know, I almost called the other night.
Almost.
I’d like to think that
you would’ve almost picked up,
and I would’ve almost said something.
It’s a good thing I’ve almost lost your number;
I could get lonely someday
and forget that you almost wanted to stay.
I forget a lot nowadays.
I almost called the other night, you know.
But I’ve learned that “almost”
only counts in “I love you’s”
and “goodbye’s”.
Maybe I’ll almost sleep tonight.
It’s strange that I keep dreaming
about the night we walked around the city.
I always end up on the park bench
by your house,
waiting.
I’ve almost stopped wishing you’d show up.

Mar 2014 circus clown

dig out.

Mar 2014 circus clown

brooke

dig out.

I only like myself
in the dim mornings
in the shade, in the soft
blues, when there's no
mirrors and I feel my
skin for what it is

(c) Brooke Otto 2014

Mar 2014 circus clown

White Christmas Lights

Mar 2014 circus clown

Morgan

White Christmas Lights

Your words hung like
White Christmas lights
All along the walls of my bedroom
They got tangled in the sun
And faded away
On summer days
But they kept me up
Every night
In the winter

You wanted to hold the world in your hands
But the edges were sharp
And by the time we graduated high school
You were sick of bleeding

You wanted to hold my waist in your hands
But your hands were opened wounds
And I slipped right through them

You hung yourself
Like the white Christmas lights
That wrapped around your mother's
Front porch in December

You wanted to hold the world in your hands
But your hands were opened wounds
And it slipped right through them

I carry your life on my back
And the weight is breaking my spirit

Mar 2014 circus clown

angel

Mar 2014 circus clown

Liv

angel

maybe wherever you are
there is greener grass
and brighter skies
that compliment your crooked smile
and tired eyes
and i'd like to think
that you are every star in the sky
but not even the sun
could compare to your light
that everyone could see
only when it was too late
talking to the angels
seems more romantic
knowing that I could be talking to you

late night thoughts about the brightest star in the sky. meghan, i hope you're happy and peaceful wherever you are. i'll join you someday, angel

Mar 2014 circus clown

aubade

Mar 2014 circus clown

Megan Grace

aubade

The first poem I ever
wrote with your name
pulsing through my
body was "I thought
about how scary it
would be to love you
and I have to have to
have to have it." I wish
I had known then that
loving you would feel
like this.

I wouldn't change
anything.

Mar 2014 circus clown

Home Is (Multiple) You(s)

Mar 2014 circus clown

wounded words

Home Is (Multiple) You(s)

Don't ask me why my hands are shaking when
the rain just put out the last
of my cigarettes and i can't find my
keys because i misplaced them while looking for the dark green lighter i found last night
in the wet grass of the house you said goodbye in.
I'm becoming shorter of breath the
longer I stand here
and these cobblestone skies are closing in on me and God knows this is the last place
I want to be stuck
Pick any house on the map
and I'll tell you what's happened there
and how many beer cans I crumpled
in the musty garage
or how many times my hand has grasped the doorknob of a bedroom
I'll tell you that the yellow house on the left side of 163rd had me laughing until I no longer
thought I was in my body
and I'll tell you that
the yellow house on the left side of 196th
had me wishing I never existed
at all
Inside white walls I took too many hits and
the smoke built up on the walls so thick
I had no choice but to stay
the night in your arms
In between wooden panels and a seemingly impossible staircase you kissed me
up
every
step
and going back down seemed like a sin
i absolutely
could not commit.
By now I am in an all too familiar place
to be feeding off old habits
so I break away from those bitter lips
and I run out to the same woods
I've seen a million times-
And I know that this is what makes this home

Mar 2014 circus clown

pepperoni and mushroom pizza

Mar 2014 circus clown

Megan Grace

pepperoni and mushroom pizza

I am what Webster's defines
as a wreck
a mess
a disaster
because lately I've been
missing you so much that my
legs ache, that I can barely
speak around the knot in
my chest when I see you.
how do you tell someone you
don't know how to be without
them without sounding desperate?
I only know how to love you
in the scariest ways.