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Ciel Noir Oct 2020
When I don't understand the harm
I ask myself
what if I could?

When it seems like a false alarm
I ask myself

Am I the wolf?
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
Every day we send another million
Letters to the stars
Meaning them for one another
Always so surprised how far

All our light and sound can travel
Our radio and TV
Every day we throw another million
Bottles in the sea

Will the others read our messages
And learn about our ways?
Will they know us in the night?
Will they seek us in the day?

Do they go about their lives
Without curiosity
Never looking in the bottles they find
Floating in the sea?

Or perhaps they have already found
Our pretty little sphere
Maybe they already know
Maybe they're already here

For sometimes we send out letters
Hoping they will find and read
We have shown them the whole world
In a dandelion seed

Even if they never find us
Even if they cannot read
They will understand one thing about us:
Curiosity

Even if we never find them
Listening among the stars
We'll never stop sending messages
For that is who we are.
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
Hold it above your head
Walk through the street
No one looks
It's already been seen
But if you hold it
Behind your back
Curiosity
Like you've never seen
Ciel Noir May 2019
who am I
why am I the way I am
I am curious
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
there are poems
I do not share
with the world
many of them
are songs

I do not sing them
for anyone
I hold them in my heart
like a swan
?D
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
?D
In 3D
I stand behind a tree
In 2D
The tree is a part of me
In 1D
There is nowhere else to be
In 4D
What else would I see?
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
.
                                                                 ­                                            w
                   ­                                                                 ­                        i
                                                              ­                                          n 
                    ­                                                                 ­               g
                                                ­                                                 e    
                                                                ­                              d
                                 ­             w                                         m
        ­                                       a                                      e                         ­  
                                                n             ­                    s   
                                        ­        d                             s                     
    ­                                             e                a  ­     e         
                          a                      r            l      n   o                                 
                              ­  l                  i        o    g  v                                                                                     i            n   n   e e                        r         
                                           v      g e r                i                                          
       y  o  u  s  e  e  m  t  o  b  e ☼ a  n  d  u  n  d  e  r  t  h  e s  t  a  r  s...
     i  n  s  p   i   r   e    d     c     o l t
                          a          n         n    ii       o
              m               a               t       f  f             t
                            d                  h         t   e                  h
                                                e            t ­                             e
                                  ­             n               h                                   s
                                              i          ­        e                                           k 
          ­                                   g                    m                                           ­   y
                                            h               ­        e                                        
                                            t                   ­        l                                            
                                                                ­         o
                                                               ­            d
                                                               ­              y
                                                               ­                o
                                                              ­                   f
Ciel Noir Mar 2020
nothing is certain
there's fear in the water

the city has no face
a tabula rasa

nothing but questions
how can we cope?

through all this madness
do you dare to hope?
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
darkness                   darkness                     darkness

darkness                       darkness
one
                darkness              bright light                   darkness          
        in  the  center        
    shines on us    
darkness             all             darkness

     darkness                  darkness                       darkness
Ciel Noir Dec 2019
we do not know darkness
our world is full of light
brighter than a candle flame
burning in the night

in this warm sanctuary
the eye of the storm
it is easy to forget
that darkness is the norm
Ciel Noir Jun 2019
the tree grows
deep within the dark river
the water rises
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
I look up at the sky and I see stars
They look almost as dizzy as I feel
For thousands of years they showed us the way
The sky has changed, the world has turned the wheel
Into an open circle slowly walks
The one who brings the number to thirteen
A bridge over a river in the sky
The starry serpent and who stands between
But it was much easier to divide
In halves and thirds and fourths, by six and three
When there were twelve instead of a number
Whose only factors are one and thirteen
I wonder how much this will change our world
And in how many small and subtle ways
We will learn something of our unity
And of our individuality
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
The Peacock and the Necromancer
Dance upon the sky
Their light lives on beyond the stars
The thousand staring eyes

We show them where to find us
From Bridgeport to Camelot
We tell them our dark secrets
And we send them our bright thoughts

We flash our golden feathers
And we sing our pretty words
So they will see us, notice us
So that we can be heard

When every other edifice
And evidence is gone
They walk the dark ahead of us
Where our song shall play on
Ciel Noir Apr 2018
Celestial egg
Peaceful nestled in the clouds
A perfect sphere
Made translucent by the light
Sinks smoothly into the ocean
A moment later
On the other horizon
It finds its wings
Gold with fire
Radiant with power
And rises slowly from
Its bright new nest
Of feathers and flame
Ciel Noir Jan 2019
Sometimes I'm afraid to decide
For fear I will make a mistake
But I have found nowhere to hide
For hiding is a choice I make

I try to hem, I try to haw
I try to stall, to delegate
But making decisions is not
Simple to circumnavigate

Should I blink once?
Should I blink twice?
With every step I roll the dice
I cannot count the consequences
Never know who pays what price

But silence is a message
And there's meaning hidden in elision
Saying that I won't decide
Is still no less of a decision

Still I am afraid to speak
Unknowing what it will inspire
Like a dragon afraid to breathe
Lest it should set the world on fire

And slowly I have learned to try
To take the step
To roll the dice
And slowly I have spread my wings

I have decided

I will fly
Ciel Noir Apr 2018
The flower says Sun shine on me
Says drink my nectar to the bee
The bee says Queen I will be true
You are my sisters
I love you

She dances to illuminate
To help her sisters find the way
They follow her to find the feast
The Sun says I am in the East

The Sun says here you find the nectar
Shines on the tiny collectors
Bright enough for us to find
A rainbow filled with fine dark lines

The Sun says I am hydrogen
And helium and other things
The Sun says Earth stay close by me
As we fly through our galaxy

The Sun says I am in the West
She burns inside her fiery nest
The darkness comes down from afar
So deep, so dark, so full of stars

The stars say you are looking West
You're this far North, no more, no less
The stars say it is 10 PM
The stars say it is almost spring

The stars say we are hydrogen
And other things so deep within
So many things that every part
Of everyone is made of stars

The Moon says Earth I hold to you
In day and night forever true
Deep fire and ocean dance the tide
Whispers to woman deep inside

The woman feels the cosmic song
She dances in it all night long
The beauty of the endless sky
Blooms like a flower in her eyes

So deep below, so deep above
She reaches out and feels their love
So infinite and yet so small
She whispers back
I love you all
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
If evil is
The default state
Then good is only
A byproduct
Of evil
Which life
Works
To create
Ciel Noir Jul 12
do not be afraid
I'm here

I will defend you
have no fear

I have a weapon
I can fight

I will walk with you
in the night

I can look
around the corners

no trouble
it is my honor

I don't care
how long it takes

I am here to keep you safe

rest assured
and fear no more

let me walk you
to the door

I am here
I will defend you

throw a spider
out the window

I defend
and I pretend

I am the one
who is so brave

it makes it harder to admit
I am the one who is afraid
Ciel Noir May 2021
The truth is hate is not the death of love
Instead it burns love's heart from pink to red
And love becomes a savage primal thing
        Unholy                                             ­     
           Animal                            
                       Alive                  
                             Undead
             The gentle warmth of love becomes a fire        
That turns it to a monster in the light
And burns the tender feathers from its wings
Which cast their demon shadow
On the night
Ciel Noir May 2018
I know you think about it
Every day
I wish that I could chase your
Demons away
But who would I be
Enamored of?
Your shadow is
The one I love

The things you try to  
Sublimate
I find very easy
To relate
Your shadow self
Has such a hold
Over your heart
And both our souls
Ciel Noir Jun 2019
what happens to the parts of you
that you hide from the light
and what do all your demons do
in that concealing night

kept locked up in a secret place
with scarcely space to play
did you think they would disappear
if you just looked away

do they destroy each other
until only one survives
or join and grow into one being
very much alive

amalgamated madness
with no reason left to run
in your own innermost darkness
where the shadows fall as one
Ciel Noir Jan 2022
each day I try to play a role
in our society

to mimic an image
of what I think they want to see

but deep down
I am savage
I am wild
my soul has teeth

and time and time again
I try to hide that side of me

how could I ever find someone
to love me as a whole

the monsters in my mind
and the maelstrom of my soul?

through all my doubt
I dare to hope
to meet the one someday

who sees the demons in my eyes
and does not look away
Ciel Noir Aug 2022
these are not my words
these are not my ways

these are not my hands
this is not my face

so ashamed to be
hiding from myself

do not look at me
I am someone else
Ciel Noir May 2021
habits formed across my mind
step by step by step

always looking for the path
looking for the way

back and forth and back and forth
even as I slept

my path is the one I make
day by day by day
Ciel Noir Feb 2021
some people

cut themselves
with knives

burn themselves
with cigarettes

I am not obvious like that
I think instead of act

an inner dialogue
like chess

I set traps for myself
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
One day
The Sun will fill the sky
With its blazing
Diamond heart
Ciel Noir Sep 2018
♦  
♦   ♦  
   ♦ The  ♦    
♦  Hidden ♦
♦  Diamonds  ♦
♦  No one knows  ♦
♦I mixed them in with♦
♦The♦rest♦of♦the♦stones♦
♦But you can see from♦
♦ Where I stand a  ♦
♦ Constellation♦
    ♦In                ♦  
     ♦The        ♦    
    ♦Sand♦  
♦   ♦

Ciel Noir May 2022
I was always different
in my own infinite little ways
and though I am still very strange
the way I live my life has changed

now I have many different friends
who like me how I really am
and do not ask me to pretend
they listen and they understand

but often even now
I am around people who aren't like that
and every now and then
I feel like I am that weird kid again

but then with my real friends
I am so happy to come back
I hope I never will forget
how much it matters to have friends like that
Ciel Noir Sep 2020
you are shipwreck
and disaster

cursed no matter what I do

you are the maelstrom
and the monster

every storm leads back to you
Ciel Noir Jul 2022
I've fallen out of love
and now I don't have much to say
I think a little writer's block
is better than that pain

the pareidolia transforms
into another pattern
and signs that used to point to you
now do not seem to matter

though this is not to say
it's always so easy to cope
I really feel the cold
without the false heat of false hope

but now my eyes are open
to the way I truly feel
and I can put my hope into
a search for something real
Ciel Noir Oct 2018
I am not standing on top of the world
I am bound to it by gravity
The only thing keeping me out of the sky
It's a thought that makes me feel
Breathless and dizzy

The stars do not circle like birds overhead
We spin round and round in the sky
The Sun does not set in the West at night
The Earth turns away from its light

The Moon does not pull me with strings from afar
It changes the shape of spacetime
It warps not just me but my reality
Lights the world up with cold sunshine

We all fall forever toward the Sun
In a sky only painted blue
Hidden deep in the light
The stars shine just as bright
And they always shall shine on you
Ciel Noir Dec 2019
so close to the earth
it fills up our eyes
we forget
time to time
that we dance on the sky

sometimes we may feel
that the world is still
illusion
illuminates
wheels within wheels

we never can tell
we who never fell
what lies where the light hides
how deep is the well

o would that we could
see straight through the ground
dizzying
infinity
all the way down
Ciel Noir May 2018
You say: let's move the embassy
It isn't a big deal to me
It translates to a lot of press
I'll show the world that I'm the best

I'll show them I can dominate
One domino, a piece of cake
A bigger slice of the same pie
The kind of wealth that you can't buy

One domino, a little thing
What's that? I wasn't listening
You said that this was complicated
Overthought is overrated

But if you move one domino
You don't know how far it will go
If they are close enough together
Dominoes will fall forever
Ciel Noir Aug 2018
Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Some say
One day
Humanity just appeared

But who put us here
On this warm spinning stone?
Some say
One day
We'll find out we're not alone

But who made the maker?
How and from what?
Some say there was none
Some say one always was

And though we don't know
We can still think about it
Some say
One day
We'll know
I hope so
I doubt it
Ciel Noir Apr 2018
he drats and tolchocks till he viddies the
malenky merzky grazhny grazzy nazz
and shives from guttiwuts to gulliver
the poogly plenny all razrez razrez

tree cheenas itty up to govoreet
with dva vecks when the bolshy britva's done
one slooshies slovos without shilarny
the other skorry sobirats each one

prestoopniks plot, chelloveck and ptitsa
crast dva nozhes, tolchock the collocol
the ptitsa privodeets pyahnitsas
with krovvy on her rookers after all

glazzy for glazzy, zooby for zooby
to oobivat prestoopniks nadmenny
the rozz becomes so deep steeped in krovvy
he goes o'er a prestoopnik, a plenny

the zheena's sneeting cheesting nachinats
jeezny and krovvy are so dorogoy
a veck can kopet but cannot kupet
to crast brings britva, bitva, doubtful joy
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
Thousand doves
Quiet and serene and still
Suddenly take flight
Ciel Noir Oct 2018
A dragon deep inside, it's true
I know you are a dragon too
And when we do what dragons do
I feel that savage part of you

All woven up in twisted seam
Waiting in darkness deep, unseen
So civilized, that's how we seem
But we are dragons when we dream
Ciel Noir May 2020
tomorrow we will draw
---------------a different line--------------
in the same sand
Ciel Noir Nov 2021
I understand fear
fear says "run"
fear says "fire"
fear says "gun"

fear keeps us alive
if we keep our head
but step away from its brother:
dread

I don't understand dread
dread says "why try?"
dread says "love is fleeting"
dread says "you will die"

that doesn't help me
to survive
I don't want to feel dread
I want to feel alive
Ciel Noir Aug 2018
If life is a dream,
Then who am I?
Can I be seen?
Do I have eyes?
Can I speak?
Do I ask why?
What strange stars
Light up my sky?

If life is a dream,
Then what is death?
Where do we go?
What comes next?
When I wake
Will I forget?
I'm not ready
To wake up yet
Ciel Noir Apr 2023
if there were no violence
we'd have no word for peace

if there were no tension
then there would be no release

if there were no stars
there would be no name for night

only in the darkness
can we understand the light
Ciel Noir Jul 2022
.                 boring                                               organized         .
  ******                                               elegant
     rude                                              funny
capriciou­s                                           exciting
  slutty                                        ****
  d­angerous                                    powerful
           fascist      Χ               6     obedient  
  scary     Ξ         6     cool
  wild     Σ  6    alive
  in truth we are
    human as you
    our demons are
    our   angels   too
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
branches wide
safe and sound we live inside
just like the old ways

in a tree
like a sailboat in the sea
drifting into space
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
Will our descendants live on Earth
Or will they live in domes on Mars
Or by Europa's icy surf
Or in the dark beyond the stars

We act as if we have no say
We talk as if we have no voice
But we who live on Earth today
We are the ones who make this choice
Ciel Noir Oct 2023
subliminal reverberation
of some long-forgotten song
a melody that calls the soul
back to a place we once belonged

darker than night
stranger than time
deeper than tribe
older than words

inflecting language to reflect
an echo of what we have heard
Ciel Noir Aug 2020
somewhere
deep down
I make
a

(        (   •  sound •   )        )

but
all you
ever hear
from me is the

•  )              )                    )   echo   (                    (              (  •
Ciel Noir Nov 2022
Every action
and reaction

Level and endeavor

In the end
it's all just echoes
that reverberate forever
ever

Everything we know
and everything
we say and do

In the end
it's all just memories

and I'll remember you
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
Dissect a sentence and collect the nectar
Sift the syllables like a prospector
Weave a web of vectors and connectors
Dialectic effecters connect all sectors
Decks of detectors
Refractors and reflectors
Let the next generation necromancer
Reflect inflect project effect
a reverie
a revenant
an indirect electric spectre
Ciel Noir Aug 2020
my soul is electricity
it never stops
moving

if it did
it would fall
into the nothing
that everything is full of

and fill the void
with its

infinitely
deep emptiness
Ciel Noir Aug 2018
Filaments
Fine and thin
The more of them
The thicker the stem
Branching connections
Point back to their source
Laid out in ley lines of force
Everywhere the lines converge
They canonize a demiurge
And so delineate, unfurl
Electric visions
Of their world
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