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Ciel Noir Aug 2019
there is a river
deep as the sea
wild as the moonlight
naked and free

rush in the darkness
quick as a wish
just out of my reach
up here on the bridge
Ciel Noir May 2020
speak or write or walk or kneel
they will never learn
silence is not made of steel
silence can be burned
Ciel Noir Mar 2023
I might look like
I'm standing still
but I am fighting
tooth and nail

Wish you could see
how hard I try
so you'd forgive me
when I fail

I wish I more than seemed
to rest
Feels like the day
is never done

I wish you could
put on my shoes
and find out how it feels
to run
Ciel Noir Aug 2018
I took          a trip
I took                a look
That tree could read me
Like                      a book
And                 open me
Like a             library
Cipher      in the
Sanctuary
Deeper
Still deeper
Inside the place
Where           secret
Knowledge         hides
The twin snakes ladder
Necklace              chain
Make life        by any
Other           name
Ciel Noir Aug 2020
I am full of rage
I shake my mind awake

rattle it
like a cage

my footsteps are like iron
on the ground

all around
my thoughts are a prison

burn it down
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
O how warm
Is the Sun upon my face
Calm after the storm
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
O if we could only see
How much we need each other
Would we still spend our precious time
Trying to defeat each other?

The cannibalism won't stop
Till all of us are dead
Humanity is like a hydra
Eating its own head
Ciel Noir Aug 2020
I try to build
a castle
out of diamonds

flashing in the Sun

but they are smooth and sharp
and do not hold together

tzak                  
tzak
                  tzak­

the castle falls apart

a dangerous sky
it is raining stars
Ciel Noir May 29
if I'd been held
like this back then
I wonder who
I'd be today

probably not the one who waited
pushed all other men away

because I was not 'good enough'
because I was afraid to love

it took so long to find someone
because I built so many walls

and through it all
I always hoped
one day I could be understood

deep down
through all my darkest days
I always wanted to be good

if I had never run away
this dream would end

if someone like you
had been there to hold me then
I'm sure we never would have met
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
There is always something
At the center of my mind
The longer it remains there
The more deeply it's entwined
It reaches out, connects to
All my neurons one by one
Until the thought of it
Lights my whole mind up like the Sun
Ciel Noir Feb 2019
One night
Long ago
I looked up into the sky

And for a moment I saw how

The electrons in the atoms
Orbit the nucleus

The Earth, the planets
Orbit the Sun

The stars and the nebulae
Orbit a black hole

All follow their way
Around the center
Even on the smallest scale
Even on the largest scale

Everything is drawn to the center

It was the closest I had ever felt
to God
Ciel Noir Jan 2019
There can be no certainty

Ever
Anywhere
This is all I know

One and
One is two
Maybe I am mad
Maybe I have been lied to

I don’t
Really know
Things that I believe
Just because I have been told

What if
All of this
Is only my dream
In a world I cannot see

We shall never know; we may only believe

There can be no certainty
Ciel Noir Aug 2018
Luminous
In an ocean deep and black
I will bring you light

Come and see
Give your life force unto me
I will bring you night
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
There is an animal inside
Intuitive and powerful
Irrational and dangerous
But animals are beautiful

Sometimes we keep it on a chain
In a vain attempt to control
Discrediting half of the brain
Imprisoning half of the soul

But we've been animals for years
And logic is still new to us
I am not sure we understand
What doing this can do to us

Sometimes the animal grows cold
Refuses to cooperate
It will not do what it is told
It turns to anger and to hate

Sometimes the animal grows numb
If it becomes too deeply bored
Lets go of hope and joy and love
Refusing to dream anymore

Sometimes the animal grows strong
And takes control of the whole brain
Runs rampant, pulling us along
Headlong it drags us by its chain
Ciel Noir Nov 2019
fly by night
hide from the light
in the shadow to remain

say the names
draw down the flames
only fire may break the chain
Ciel Noir Feb 5
a sound like rage
like metal rain
the sound of the dragon
breaking her chains

beneath her wings
the sky in flames
fire in her eyes
as she flies away
Ciel Noir May 2021
I don't want to tangle you
up in words
my friend

teach me silence
teach me patience
teach me to pretend

I saw your soul in chains
you looked at me
just like *******

did you take me
for pleasure
or to take away the pain?
Ciel Noir Feb 2019
To create
To destroy
It is the same
It is to rearrange
To change
Ciel Noir Aug 2022
and still I chase
the man with no face
and when his name changes
I don't change my pace

I only feel safe
with someone who craves space
and no matter what changes
it is the same chase
Ciel Noir May 2018
All the little chemicals
Run into the water
Turning all the fish green
Giving them mutations
Then we eat the fish
Until we turn green too
And all the little chemicals
Cover up the sky
Ciel Noir Sep 2021
✽             ✽
a chemical bond
✽   undeniably strong  ✽
can't ignore what I want
 ✽   miss you like                
an electron
✽             ✽
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
Like the Moon
Blooming soft and delicate
Earth kissing the sky
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
I see the world
When I look in the mirror
I am a melange
I am a chimaera

In a world where each
Has something to teach
I am a collage
I am a pastiche

Influence connects in
A million directions
Reflected reflections
I am a collection

Beholden, allegiant
To so many regions
I am not original
No
I am Legion
Ciel Noir May 2020
I do not belong to you
It is not your choice
You don't get to speak for me
I have my own voice

If I stand up and speak my mind
Do not be surprised
This is not under your control
I get to decide
Ciel Noir Nov 2020
the marks you left on my heart
slowly fade away
a choke chain
broken apart
day by day by day
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
Graceful
Majestic
Like a swan

Beautiful
Delicate
Like a cherry tree in bloom

Alien
Serene
Like the sea
Ciel Noir Sep 2018
Every time someone forgives me
I forgive someone else
And so on until we
Wash the whole world clean
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
I never knew
How peaceful the sea was
Until I sailed
Through a storm
And found myself once more
On clear water
Ciel Noir Sep 2020
I truly want this deep within my soul
but each time I get close
I turn and run

my fingers tremble
inches from the goal
this is the closest I have ever come
Ciel Noir Dec 2019
I dreamed
a strange dark room
colossal
many flights of stairs
and in the middle
strange dark space
where some colossal
god once stood
Ciel Noir May 2018
Bravery
Little dove who thinks she can
Fly across the sea
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
sand and snow
why are we afraid of these
ghostly messengers

I wonder
if some ancient part of us
remembers that day

long ago
when the dragons ruled the sky
there when the night fell

we survived
to wonder at this omen
winter is coming
Ciel Noir Oct 2023
I judge myself
more harshly than
I would judge anybody else

I made an innocent mistake
so I must not deserve success

I try and try and still I fail
so I am just not good enough

it's hard to build relationships
so I am too broken to love

I try so hard to learn and grow
to do better
to do my best

if I were someone else
it would be easy to forgive myself

and I should love myself
even if I do not seem 'good enough'

to love no matter what
that is the most important kind of love
Ciel Noir Nov 2021
I look at my past
and I look away
that wasn't me
that's what I say

that wasn't me
but if that's so
then tomorrow
who will I be?

it is almost
as if to say
that I only exist
today

I want to stay
I want to be
that's why I must say
that was me
Ciel Noir Apr 2022
I am moving
through emptiness

building a bridge
in front of me
as I walk
Ciel Noir Dec 2020
this prison has no walls
only the sea
there is nothing you can climb
to be free

VIGILANCE

OBEDIENCE

CONTROL

a cold perimeter
around the soul
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
Shining Sun
Chases me out of my bed
In the cool morning
Ciel Noir May 2019
the deepest part is like a serpent
fire and madness
in the darkness

above that
more like a rabbit
full of feelings
tenderness

on the outside something other
something abstract
alien

snake and rabbit
do not have it

what would we be
without them?
Ciel Noir Aug 2022
we are alive because we won
some cosmic lottery of laws
a battle versus antimatter
everything we know and are

we are alive because we won
the perfect distance from the Sun
where water flows and life may grow
upon, along, above, beyond

we are alive because we won
a litany of love and war
we wonder from atop our tree
where have the other branches gone

between the void and kingdom come
between infinity and none
and of that number
only one

we are alive because we won
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
You love your country
I'm sure that you do
I'm sure they all loved
Their countries too

You love your country
That's how you explain it
You love your country
And I love my planet
Ciel Noir Jul 2022
what is courage?
I know how it feels:
like my spine is made of steel
is it a tool of the mind
or fire that comes down from the sky?
or that determined voice inside:
"I will not let the fear decide"
maybe I will never know
but I feel courage in my soul
Ciel Noir Oct 2018
We try to act like we know
Why we do the things we do
The more I watch the way we act
The less I think that's true

We try to act superior
Feel smug, look down our nose
But we are all just animals
With tools and books and clothes

That's not to say there is anything
Wrong with me or you
I think it's quite incredible
What animals can do

But we are little creatures
On a rock made out of stars
Let's not lose our head in the clouds
And forget what we are
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
Crescent Moon
Smiling outside my window
Good morning to you
Ciel Noir Apr 2021
I do not want to cause offense

I do not wish to harm

I do not want to hurt your feelings

Or to cause alarm


I do not want to challenge you

Or to make you feel small


I know that you

Don't want me to

Say anything at all


And so I've learned to blunt my tongue

To mitigate my speech

To stretch the space between the lines

As far as it can reach


I censor myself

Without thinking

Every single day


And if I could speak freely

I don't know what I would say
Ciel Noir Nov 2020
you came into my life
and I have never been the same

you crossed into my mind
and now my shadow has a name

I burn so bright
when you're with me
and even when you're gone

your darkness follows me
each time I walk toward the Sun

     opposition     yin and yang
        aligned      intertwined

seven  ★ seven
constellations
form one single sign

you haunt the hollows of my soul
and echo like a song

I look back from the Sun
and you have been there all along
Ciel Noir Aug 2019
down at the crossroads
I fold my wings
breathing in flowers
burnt offerings

out of the darkness
into the light
light as a feather
soft as the night

crazed as a raver
craven and brave
low as the raven goes over your grave

take what you want from me
leave your control
down at the crossroads
give me your soul
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
The Queen of trees
Wears a crown of flowers
Lush and soft and sensuous
Cradling the Moon pale and full
Against the deep black sky
Ciel Noir Sep 2020
caress my heart
and brush apart
this impervious surface
you make me nervous

hush
shut up
shush

just a crush
such a rush
so much

touch me like you deserve this
Ciel Noir Aug 2018
I look into the crystal
And I see the sand in flames

A lake of molten glass makes

Grey waves on the oasis
I pray for rain
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
We are the void that crystallized
We are the stars in Earth reborn
Simplicity reorganized
Into complexity reformed

And nothing ever is destroyed
We turn and change and change and turn
We know that we come from the void
And to the void we shall return
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