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Ciel Noir Jun 2018
One small step forward
Two steps back
Three steps behind
The man in black

If man is five
And God is seven
Ride a ladder
Up to Heaven

Eleven balances the force
And thirteen rides
On a pale horse

After the lightning
Seventeen
Falls to the sea
Don't say --
Ciel Noir May 2021
your soul
is like a vine    
that has                  
twisted                        
itself            
  around
                my heart
                               so many times            
that I can't even
        say how I feel                                    
   anymore                                
and even if            
        I could express
                   my feelings    
       in one
cogent
form      
I have to      
     ask myself
                     what kind of fruit      
                            this union would bring forth
Ciel Noir May 2020
my thoughts about you do not rhyme
they are too twisted to repeat
the part of me that wants you
is a part of me that cannot speak
Ciel Noir Jan 2022
I just want to dream about
someone who I can step back from

reach out with imagination
and not with my soul

let myself fall into orbit
knowing I can keep my distance

synchronize with your vibrations
not with your control
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
I can say anything I want to say
And you can keep yourself from hearing
But you cannot stop me from speaking

I have a voice
And you can block it out
Cover people's ears with tape
But I can say anything I want to say
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
The more I look around
The more I am persuaded
That uncertainty is
The true meaning of life
Ciel Noir Oct 2021
do I or don't I
yes or no?
maybe it's better not to know
there is freedom in the dark
one look into my soul
could collapse the
waveform
Ciel Noir Mar 2020
our minds are on the timeline
fear in every breath we take

we barely even notice
when the Earth begins to wake

and as the mad world rushes by
wrapped up in doom and gloom

undaunted
the forgotten spring
is bursting into bloom
Ciel Noir Nov 2018
We hide what we don't understand
And bury it deep down below
In darkness under land it slumbers
Hidden numbers
Where the Sun won't go
Nurtured by our hiding hand

And there it learns to live in darkness
Deep below it learns to grow
The buried shapes deep down beneath
So many rows of dragons' teeth
Lo and behold, we did not know
The darkness only makes it whole

As time goes by a form takes shape
Some hidden shadow faint remembered
Learns to move before it wakes
And as it dreams the whole Earth quakes
Rivers rush and mountains tremble

And one bright day it all breaks free
Once more to greet the fiery Sun
And all the shadows rise as one
To take wing, take flight, to take form
A form which we have always known
And never understood
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
Nothing is more
Exhilarating than
The moment you begin
To understand
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
I would rather understand
Than be understood
Knowledge is power
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
Even if nobody
Understands your words
I am glad that you chose them

Even if nobody
Understands your poems
I am glad that you wrote them
Ciel Noir Jun 2022
I like being understood by you
It's a rare experience for me
I want to understand you too
But if you wanted to be understood
You would be
Ciel Noir Sep 2019
a dark place
how long do I want to stay
twelve seeds in my hand
Ciel Noir Apr 2021
I am beautiful
I have my own unique face
no one is like me

I am terrible
I do things that no one should
no one is like me

I am all alone
no one understands my mind
no one is like me

I am powerful
I can influence the world
no one is like me

oh the irony
realizing these are the things
everyone believes
Ciel Noir May 2018
The Universe is all one thing
The mind says 'I am this'
and 'I am not that'
But that's not real
It's just an illusion
Just like everything else
In our minds

At the end
I hope that for a moment
I feel what it is like
To be
Unity
Ciel Noir Dec 2020
the river does not know
why it flows
into the sea

but it can shape the land
like a strange hand

the wind does not know
why it blows
through the trees

but it can turn a mountain
into sand
Ciel Noir Sep 2020
I don't know my soul
I don't give a ****
I'd rather be happy
than know who I am
Ciel Noir May 2018
I have a lot of questions for myself
And I don't have answers for all of them
Sometimes I think
Maybe I should stop asking
But no
I just HAVE TO ASK QUESTIONS
What is this? What does it mean? How do I know this is real?
What if it isn't?
It drives me absolutely up the wall sometimes
But it's just the way I am
And if I say to myself 'NO MORE QUESTIONS'
Then I deny the truest part of who I am
Because who am I?
I don't know but clearly I'm  
Someone who asks a lot of questions.
Ciel Noir Sep 2024
it's so hard
to believe

that anyone
could ever see me

the real me

and still want to
be near me

and still love me
and not fear me

and want to
stay with me

I am with you

but a part of me
is far away

inside my mind

frightened
hiding from the light

crawling through
this labyrinth

I built

to imprison my shadow

claws mark all the walls
some etched so deep

I can read by the light

too bright to find out
what's outside

the sky
or is it fire?

is my desire
too powerful to hold?

unmade

afraid to be made whole
Ciel Noir Apr 2022
if I can feel it
for someone else

it isn't love
it's loneliness

that makes me wish
that you would stay

that makes me blue
when you're away

a carnival of animals
all flesh and bone and pheromone

can't categorize our chemicals
so guess at words

like love
and home
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
Secret, all the world's a secret
All the world's a whisper game
Sometimes I wonder about all the
Things that people never say

The king who murdered for the crown
The queen who drove him to the deed
The rook who speaks no words and only
To the lonely seems to scream

The bishop's shadow of a doubt
The knight's pusillanimity
The little pawn who'd wear that crown
And wreak her vengeance as the queen

Secret, all the world's a secret
All the world's a whisper game
Whence and whither
Hie thee hither
To the king without a name
Ciel Noir May 2019
deep inside
under this veneer of words
we are still savage
Ciel Noir Apr 2022
No one deserves that
Not even you
Never forget
You are human too
Ciel Noir Apr 2022
You only have to think about it while it is happening.
Up
Ciel Noir Aug 2023
Up
I know it in my heart
Even the perfect woman
Could never be enough

Nothing could ever be enough

But to walk away from him
And not give in
And still feel love

Some things are so hard to give up

Not walking
More like climbing up
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
Life claws its way upward

Through hard ground

Gnaws its way upward

Through the flesh and bones of other animals

Cuts its way upward

Through forest and wood

Digs its way upward

Through sand and stone

Burns its way upward

Melting pathways through the world

Builds its way upward

Wood and glass and stone and metal

All so that we can stand for a moment

At the top of the world

Until something beneath us breaks free
Us
Ciel Noir Mar 2022
Us
you're us
it's true

and we are you
the same bright blue

the same stardust

sometimes you're you
that's OK too

but as we know and trust
you're us
v
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
v
do you feel          how I feel
like you're not quite          sure what's real      
do you think          like I think
two metronomes          just out of sync
   do you know         what I know
     can you see         into my soul
shades and shadows          smoke and mirrors
say the          word
I'll make it          clearer...
^
Ciel Noir Jan 2021
I carry your love
through a valley of diamonds
heavy as a stone
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
↘                                                                ­                            all in the
                                                             ­                               name of the
                                                             ­                                 same god
                          we think                                invoking
                   we're balancing                          justice we
                        the scales                                   assail
                                                    callin­g                                
                               ­              for vengeance                    
                                                even blood                        
                                   ­                                                                 ­    ↙
                                                           ­                        against
                                                        ­                       the enemy        
                                                   ­                               we rail
    vengeance                                    until they                    
→    pushes the                            are who we                    
    pendulum                              ­       become                                              
                               vengeance
                          doesn't balance  
                               the scales
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
I wish that we could all have peace

And learn to respect one another

But though I think the war is dumb

I get why people hate each other

One side says "They attacked me first!"

The other says "They are the worst!"

The other then attacks them back

One side says "I have been attacked!"

Both sides say "They're attacking me!"

I simply cannot disagree

I simply cannot take a side

I wish there were a place to hide

From all this ******* violence

But if we didn't have this war

We would find someone else to fight

It's just the way we ******* are
Ciel Noir May 2018
Any viewpoint,
when taken to an extreme,

often comes to resemble the viewpoint

at the other extreme. When seen up close,

points of view seem to fall along spectra,

but when seen from far enough away,
they seem to be arranged
around spheres.
Ciel Noir Jul 2019
death is a river
that never stops rising
life is a vine
we can never stop climbing
reaching into the sky
twisted and twined
low over the river
that waters the vine
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
Uprooted
Drifting, flying without fear
A vine in the wind
Ciel Noir Dec 2021
Close my eyes
Open my mind

I want to understand

Time

A voice says
"I am in all things"

Bright violet light
In my third eye
Ciel Noir Feb 2019
Silent mind
A voice inside said to me
I AM IN ALL THINGS
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
There may be someone who is hard and cruel
But their one virtue is a brilliant mind
And also there may be a total fool
Whose only virtue is that they are kind

There may be somebody who lacks mercy
Their virtue is that they have won a war
And someone wrapped up in controversy
Whose virtue is that they know who they are

Our history is full of crooks and churls
Who did the only great deed that they could
You may have just one thing to give the world
You only need one virtue to be good
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
I see the world
Is it your world too?
Do I see our world
The same as you?

Do you see it
Drawn in nations
Or with no lines
Of demarcation?

How does our world
Look to you?
What is green?
What is blue?

Who are we
To decide?
Who are we
To take a side?

We are we,
I am me,
You are you,
That's all true

And if I listen
Close to you
I'll see the world
The way you do
Ciel Noir May 2019
deepest night
where the sky is a color
that we cannot see
Ciel Noir Apr 2018
Distorted like a rotoscope
So clearly undefined
Look back through the kaleidoscope
And read between the lines

When raging gales tear at your sails
What captain keeps control?
You swore you'd never lift the veil
But I have seen your soul

I've watched your rainbow dreams unfurl
A million collisions
An alien who learned the world
By watching television

And though I know you're oh so lonely
When they find our land
You might turn out to be
The only one they understand
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
A volcano may peacefully
Pour out new stone into the sea
A meter at a time

But when it has no outlet
It waits
And waits
For many years
And then all at once
Its fire and lightning fill the whole sky
Ciel Noir Nov 2018
Vote today
Make a choice
Don't let them take away your
Voice
Ciel Noir Jun 2019
wind rising
on the white and waiting sky
I can taste the storm
Ciel Noir May 2019
sometimes I think
we hide                inside
so we can                      forget
the scale                         of it all
                 whenever         I            venture                 
      outside                        without       
 these                      walls
I am so small
Ciel Noir Apr 2020
I am an enigma
that's what they all say
they read it correctly
I wrote it that way

some people don't want
to be figured out
weaving walls like vague waves
a labyrinth of doubt

every once in a while
you say something to me
that shows you may have seen
what not everyone sees

and I'm still a little
surprised at it all
that you of all people
have seen through my walls
Ciel Noir Jan 2024
I wish I had
nothing to hide

I wish I had
nothing to prove

I am alone
behind my walls

I am afraid to love you

what happens if I let you in?
what happens if you see my soul?

vulnerable
not in control

LEAVE ME ALONE

I need my walls
Ciel Noir Apr 2018
One by one and two by two
They stand in silence
Patiently
This never used to be the beach
Green rustling islands
Tops of trees

One by one they watch the waves
A little closer
Every day
And every one is whispering
A deepening soliloquy

One by one and two by two
The line stretches across the beach
Past sunken twilit skyscrapers
Still glittering
Just out of reach

One by one they made the choice
With heavy hearts and clever minds
To take a chance
Upon a ship
And leave their drowning world behind

One by one and two by two
The tears flow down upon the world
They join the sea
Where they turn cold
Where they have made the water warm

One by one and step by step
The long line curls into the ship
They have been waiting
For some time
Now it is time to take a trip

One by one and two by two
The animals are led on board
They listened to
The warning signs
Survival will be their reward

One by one the lights come on
The dark machines begin to glow
A rushing sound
Drowns out the waves
Into the dark
It's time to go

One by one and two by two
They gaze in wonder through the night
At Sun and Moon and Stars and Earth
An endless sea of blue and white

One by one the ships fly on
But they have only taken half
The others watch in disbelief
And kneel before their golden calf
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
I am        confused         I try  
     to ask        search        to find       
looking        for       meaning  
                  in the sky              a direction                    
                            where I        the      wanderer                              
        ­                    should      answer        on the                              
run        in the dark       night
Ciel Noir May 2018
War bells
Clanging hollow
Over the horizon
Low like a gong
Swelling like madness
My tears are silent
They do not drown the sound
They only blur the hurried words
That make my faint heart shiver
And my blood run cold
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