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236 · Jun 2018
No Direction
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
O

Where do I go

I don't know

No matter where I go

I am standing in the centre

Of my horizon

How I cling to the Earth

With my hands and feet

The dove may lend me her wings

But I lack her sense

Of direction

Faith to fly through the storm

Two wings

One blue horizon

No land in sight
235 · Apr 2019
Path
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
Some paths are made by force
Suddenly
Carved into the ground
Branded on the world

Some paths are made softly
One day at a time
A memory of ten thousand footsteps following
The path of least resistance
235 · Apr 2019
Labyrinth
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
If you want to understand
If you want to know
Read the truth
Between the words
The shadow of my soul

Words are windows
Words are walls
Some words are trapdoors
Come into my labyrinth
Stay forevermore
234 · May 2023
the Storm
Ciel Noir May 2023
you wanted my silence
and still you want more
scream into the wind
that I wasn't your *****

gather your roses
a fistful of thorns
I will be silent
when you reap the storm
233 · Feb 2019
Violet Light
Ciel Noir Feb 2019
Silent mind
A voice inside said to me
I AM IN ALL THINGS
233 · Jun 2018
No Face
Ciel Noir Jun 2018
Deeper still the darkness waits
And the darkness has no face
You who hold no form, no shape
Which shape shall your shadow take?
233 · Mar 2019
Amity
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
Good to have might, good to be bright
But being nice is better yet
For to be nice is always right
A thing you never shall regret

And it is wise to share your heart
To tell the truth, to speak your mind
Be humble, be honest, be smart,
Be brave, but most of all
Be kind
233 · May 2019
in the clover
Ciel Noir May 2019
ever braver
the maneuvers
of the lovers
in the clover

all a quiver
more than ever
and the river
runneth over
232 · Jul 2022
Courage
Ciel Noir Jul 2022
what is courage?
I know how it feels:
like my spine is made of steel
is it a tool of the mind
or fire that comes down from the sky?
or that determined voice inside:
"I will not let the fear decide"
maybe I will never know
but I feel courage in my soul
232 · Apr 2021
Bridge
Ciel Noir Apr 2021
build a bridge
empathy can walk across
and into your soul
232 · Jul 2018
apple
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
tree
light with flowers
hope
heavy with apples
joy
231 · Apr 2019
Thorn
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
One by one
I will pull out every thorn
One by one by one

Row on row
I weave them into armor
Row on row on row
231 · Jun 2023
Pareidolia
Ciel Noir Jun 2023
the kind of mind
that organizes
chaos into storylines

the kind of mind
that draws a line
in the sand
and between the stars

the kind of mind
that smashes a kaleidoscope
and cuts itself to ribbons
making sparkling mosaics
from the broken parts

the kind of mind
that asks a question
and then dreams the answer

the kind of mind
that teaches a computer
to make art

the kind of mind
that looks into the sky
and sees an alpha
and an after

everything means something
I can feel it in my heart
230 · Jul 2022
Disillusion
Ciel Noir Jul 2022
I've fallen out of love
and now I don't have much to say
I think a little writer's block
is better than that pain

the pareidolia transforms
into another pattern
and signs that used to point to you
now do not seem to matter

though this is not to say
it's always so easy to cope
I really feel the cold
without the false heat of false hope

but now my eyes are open
to the way I truly feel
and I can put my hope into
a search for something real
230 · May 2019
silence
Ciel Noir May 2019
there is so much violence
it happens every day
voices loudly silenced
no one knows what to say

peace follows me like the Moon
and draws my eyes her way
the world screams in the face of doom
I look the other way
229 · Apr 2019
illusion
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
if I could reach out
through the veil
of illusion
could I describe
what I had touched?
228 · Feb 2019
Swords
Ciel Noir Feb 2019
One raindrop may become a sea  
The sea brings storms  the sea brings life
One seed may turn   into a tree        
It bears fruit, tears stone    like a knife              
        The wood may burn     the wood may build
  A campfire, a cross     bridges, fences
Knives cut, knives defend      knives ****                  
       And who can count      the consequences?
    Saplings may seem       pure and simple
                 Time gives trees      a thousand branches
                  Just a stone      until it's thrown
And time turns stones to     avalanches              
Shall I hasten                  to obey
Some lying leader who    alleges                  
            Their way is    the only way
     When we know all swords have two edges
228 · Oct 2018
Hold
Ciel Noir Oct 2018
Where does my mind go
When I sleep
And what company
Does it keep
Down in the deep
Who holds its shape
What creatures haunt
That strange landscape

Follow the shadow
Through the night
Hollow the halo
Only light
And weave my mind up
When I wake
A dark form rising
From a lake
227 · Apr 2018
Wall Street
Ciel Noir Apr 2018
One by one and two by two
They stand in silence
Patiently
This never used to be the beach
Green rustling islands
Tops of trees

One by one they watch the waves
A little closer
Every day
And every one is whispering
A deepening soliloquy

One by one and two by two
The line stretches across the beach
Past sunken twilit skyscrapers
Still glittering
Just out of reach

One by one they made the choice
With heavy hearts and clever minds
To take a chance
Upon a ship
And leave their drowning world behind

One by one and two by two
The tears flow down upon the world
They join the sea
Where they turn cold
Where they have made the water warm

One by one and step by step
The long line curls into the ship
They have been waiting
For some time
Now it is time to take a trip

One by one and two by two
The animals are led on board
They listened to
The warning signs
Survival will be their reward

One by one the lights come on
The dark machines begin to glow
A rushing sound
Drowns out the waves
Into the dark
It's time to go

One by one and two by two
They gaze in wonder through the night
At Sun and Moon and Stars and Earth
An endless sea of blue and white

One by one the ships fly on
But they have only taken half
The others watch in disbelief
And kneel before their golden calf
227 · Feb 2019
Winter
Ciel Noir Feb 2019
The northern world is waiting
It's like time has crystallized
Still frozen, hibernating
Waiting for the Sun to rise

And when I walk the winter world
So still and so serene
I spy on time still tightly furled
In hope of tender green
226 · Jan 2022
Two Steps Back
Ciel Noir Jan 2022
I just want to dream about
someone who I can step back from

reach out with imagination
and not with my soul

let myself fall into orbit
knowing I can keep my distance

synchronize with your vibrations
not with your control
225 · Mar 2019
Forgiveness
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
Trembling
I lift my burned fingertips
Once more to the flame
225 · Jul 2018
Invoquer
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
Comment pouvons-nous
Invoquer un poème sans
Voyelles ou consonnes?
225 · Sep 2024
the bridge is out
Ciel Noir Sep 2024
sometimes I tell myself to do
a chore
or something else that bores me
a routine command
maybe a task that I don't understand

and I imagine
in my head
a chain of thoughts in quick succession
starting with the ideation
moving forward
ending with


the bridge is out


and I try to push the thought
across to where it turns into
the impulse to reach out my hand
and do the thing I know that I should do
and I decided to
so why can't I just
why can't I just
why can't I just
WHY CAN'T I JUST

no

the bridge is out


sometimes I find ways around it
sneak through my mind
like a ninja
hack my brain into some kind of
twisted Rube Goldberg contraption
or I wait until the deadline
till I'm under so much pressure
I can fly across that bridge
on wings of pure adrenaline

and I look around in wonder
at all that I have accomplished
and I wonder
what would it be like
to always have this gift?

when I think about
how successful I could be
not just a better employee

a better friend
a better daughter
a better sister

I can see a better me
beyond
the emptiness that comes between
what holds me back
and who I want to be

I reach out
I am close enough to see


the bridge is out
224 · Aug 2021
Sing
Ciel Noir Aug 2021
the cold despair
of an unrightable wrong

and the bright golden hope
of a songbird at dawn

the doubt of the wanderer
in the dark night

and the faith of the flower
that turns to the light

the anger and pain
of a deep trust betrayed

and the closeness and safety
that true love has made

sometimes it seems
the whole world sings
a single song

about these things
224 · Jul 2018
Totality
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
The Moon may cast a million shadows
On us falls the deepest one
Past the halo our own Earth glow
Casts our shadow on the Sun
224 · May 2018
Unity
Ciel Noir May 2018
The Universe is all one thing
The mind says 'I am this'
and 'I am not that'
But that's not real
It's just an illusion
Just like everything else
In our minds

At the end
I hope that for a moment
I feel what it is like
To be
Unity
224 · May 2018
Domino
Ciel Noir May 2018
You say: let's move the embassy
It isn't a big deal to me
It translates to a lot of press
I'll show the world that I'm the best

I'll show them I can dominate
One domino, a piece of cake
A bigger slice of the same pie
The kind of wealth that you can't buy

One domino, a little thing
What's that? I wasn't listening
You said that this was complicated
Overthought is overrated

But if you move one domino
You don't know how far it will go
If they are close enough together
Dominoes will fall forever
223 · Jan 2022
Balance Point
Ciel Noir Jan 2022
my mind is empty
my heart is full

I love my family and my friends
I sense a new journey about to begin

I am at the balance point
223 · Sep 2021
Thorn
Ciel Noir Sep 2021
what if
your wild roses are
the thorns in my heart
222 · Oct 2018
Skyfall
Ciel Noir Oct 2018
A cloud falls
Makes the trees grow
Makes the flowers bloom

A cloud falls
Dressed in rainbows
Silver as the Moon

The Sun shines
Makes the sea fly
Up into the sky

The Sun shines
Dressed in rainbows
Bringing us her light
221 · Mar 2019
Orbit
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
we are always
falling             toward
the                               Sun
but               ☉                we
  never                            get
   any                   closer
to the light
221 · Nov 2022
Echo
Ciel Noir Nov 2022
Every action
and reaction

Level and endeavor

In the end
it's all just echoes
that reverberate forever
ever

Everything we know
and everything
we say and do

In the end
it's all just memories

and I'll remember you
220 · Oct 2018
Shining
Ciel Noir Oct 2018
O if I could share my soul
My inner light with you
But I know we share one soul
And this is your light too

O if I could share my stars
And let them shine on you
But we are made of the same stars
And you are shining too
218 · Mar 2023
Burnout
Ciel Noir Mar 2023
I might look like
I'm standing still
but I am fighting
tooth and nail

Wish you could see
how hard I try
so you'd forgive me
when I fail

I wish I more than seemed
to rest
Feels like the day
is never done

I wish you could
put on my shoes
and find out how it feels
to run
218 · Aug 2022
Chase
Ciel Noir Aug 2022
and still I chase
the man with no face
and when his name changes
I don't change my pace

I only feel safe
with someone who craves space
and no matter what changes
it is the same chase
218 · Nov 2023
Zugzwang
Ciel Noir Nov 2023

ketawang
vägen var så lång
eitel
idle
every little move's wrong
Zugzwang

ça va
איב
the floor is lava
героям слава
glava mi se spava
218 · Jan 2021
=
Ciel Noir Jan 2021
=
I try to make
my soul
symmetrical
=
217 · Aug 2018
World Tree
Ciel Noir Aug 2018
The blossoms fallen from the sky
The world softly snowed under
And deep beneath the silent tide
The dark Earth dreams and wonders

Then from a buried cherry springs
A green and tender stem
Slowly but surely wakening
Once more to bloom again
217 · Jan 2
Outward
Ciel Noir Jan 2
made of stars
all I am and all we are
and all else unknown

I zoom out
I abstract the self outward
and I am alone

I reach out
fill out into emptiness
infinite abyss

deep within
part of me is wondering
is there more than this?
216 · Jul 2018
1
Ciel Noir Jul 2018
1
1 with    nature
1 with    time
I am the    ocean
I am the    sky
1 with    the Earth
1 with    the Sun
I am the    Universe
I am no 1
216 · Apr 2018
Doubtful
Ciel Noir Apr 2018
he drats and tolchocks till he viddies the
malenky merzky grazhny grazzy nazz
and shives from guttiwuts to gulliver
the poogly plenny all razrez razrez

tree cheenas itty up to govoreet
with dva vecks when the bolshy britva's done
one slooshies slovos without shilarny
the other skorry sobirats each one

prestoopniks plot, chelloveck and ptitsa
crast dva nozhes, tolchock the collocol
the ptitsa privodeets pyahnitsas
with krovvy on her rookers after all

glazzy for glazzy, zooby for zooby
to oobivat prestoopniks nadmenny
the rozz becomes so deep steeped in krovvy
he goes o'er a prestoopnik, a plenny

the zheena's sneeting cheesting nachinats
jeezny and krovvy are so dorogoy
a veck can kopet but cannot kupet
to crast brings britva, bitva, doubtful joy
215 · Mar 2019
Teeth
Ciel Noir Mar 2019
I will not sharpen my teeth
To blend in with wolves
Because once in a blue Moon
I bite my own tongue
214 · Apr 2019
The Bard
Ciel Noir Apr 2019
Each turn of phrase a branch, each rhyme a spark
And still the fire burns out of control
For centuries it's raged into the dark
To cast the monstrous shadow of our soul

Of heroes we still follow to this day
And villains we are still afraid to name
No river, no ocean could wash away
The visions we have seen among the flames
213 · Aug 2024
Today
Ciel Noir Aug 2024
many moments
I catch myself
looking ahead

I am dying in bed
I am already dead

I don't know what will happen
but I try to see

what will happen to us
what will happen to me

I look into the future
the future looks back

envying my smooth skin
and the time I have left

pitying me for silly mistakes
I still make

laughing
at the naivete
trending today

and the future
I see it branch out like a tree

many branches
but they are all looking at me

I am a memory

I haunt them
every one

with the things I do now
that cannot be undone

petty quarrels
that I would do better to question

questing for laurels
I'm too restless to rest on

I'll make my mistakes
till the branches all break

it is not the future
it is always today
213 · Jul 2021
Anger
Ciel Noir Jul 2021
I tell myself that I hate you
deep down I know that isn't true

the truth is that I am afraid
of a love sharper than a blade

the things I hope and feel and want
are not so easy to confront

so I conceal my pain and fear
with anger
like a steel veneer
213 · May 2024
There For Me
Ciel Noir May 2024
just the way you are
you are already enough
you don't have to earn my love
you don't have to try

it's OK to fail
it's OK to be crazy
it's OK to get angry
it's OK to cry

most people are good
it's fine to be ordinary
I am not comparing you to
anybody else

I take comfort in
things I wish were said to me
now I can be there for me
say them to myself
212 · May 2018
Glass
Ciel Noir May 2018
I am                  so afraid
To be                  touched
That I put            myself
In            a big glass box
Where I can r e a c h out
As much as           I want
I press my warm  hands
To the cold               glass
Until             it grows hot
212 · Jan 2024
Walls
Ciel Noir Jan 2024
I wish I had
nothing to hide

I wish I had
nothing to prove

I am alone
behind my walls

I am afraid to love you

what happens if I let you in?
what happens if you see my soul?

vulnerable
not in control

LEAVE ME ALONE

I need my walls
211 · Apr 2018
Silence
Ciel Noir Apr 2018
You sing your eerie songs beneath the sea
I wish we understood you on the shore
I weep to hear such haunting melodies
I weep for what my world has done to yours

I wonder if you know what we have done
I hope that we at least can let you live
I wish that I could learn to sing your songs
To say thank you and ask you to forgive

I don't know if we would forgive ourselves
If you should be silenced and heard no more
Silence almost as eerie as your songs
With no one left to sing them anymore
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