you are shipwreck
and disaster

cursed no matter what I do

you are the maelstrom
and the monster

every storm leads back to you

Shine a light
Don't let the darkness
Fill your heart with fear

Through the dark
A candle flame
May shine a million years

Shine a light
And you do not know
What you will inspire

One day
A single candle may
Light the whole world on fire

You sing your eerie songs beneath the sea
I wish we understood you on the shore
I weep to hear such haunting melodies
I weep for what my world has done to yours

I wonder if you know what we have done
I hope that we at least can let you live
I wish that I could learn to sing your songs
To say thank you and ask you to forgive

I don't know if we would forgive ourselves
If you should be silenced and heard no more
Silence almost as eerie as your songs
With no one left to sing them anymore

it's easy to stand up
to people who hate us

the only thing holding us back
is our fear

but it's harder to stand up
to people who love us

who are not aware
of their toxic behavior

and likely would cry
if they knew how they hurt us

now that is a real ******* balancing act

Dissect a sentence and collect the nectar
Sift the syllables like a prospector
Weave a web of vectors and connectors
Dialectic effecters connect all sectors
Decks of detectors
Refractors and reflectors
Let the next generation necromancer
Reflect inflect project effect
a reverie
a revenant
an indirect electric spectre

Graceful
Majestic
Like a swan

Beautiful
Delicate
Like a cherry tree in bloom

Alien
Serene
Like the sea

deep inside
under this veneer of words
we are still savage

Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Some say
One day
Humanity just appeared

But who put us here
On this warm spinning stone?
Some say
One day
We'll find out we're not alone

But who made the maker?
How and from what?
Some say there was none
Some say one always was

And though we don't know
We can still think about it
Some say
One day
We'll know
I hope so
I doubt it

One or zero, break or bind
The deepest language of the mind
A tiny hand, the smaller 'i'
Reaches across the inner sky

And raises up a lightning storm
Deep and bright and dark and warm
And where the lightning often strikes
Is forged a pillar of the mind

Into the storm the centre holds
The architecture of the soul
A billion little mindlings bind
Define, remind, and recombine

In spikes and spheres and sparking lines
A sparkling shape: the greater 'I'
In codes and chains combined and caught
Till someone comes and cuts the knot

Empathy
Shaking the monotony
Of soliloquy

Uprooted
Drifting, flying without fear
A vine in the wind

they are
in our sky

our sun
in their signs
our world

in their eyes
we are
in their sky

I know just enough to say
I will never really know
I was never really here
I will never really go

compared to the past
it all seems so tame
now I can see the path
and the monsters have names

I looked fear in the eye
and I walked away
I have seen darker days
why should I be afraid?

I felt like I was drowning
a well in my head
something wanted me dead
and I said
not today

though sometimes I still say
I can't cope anymore
I have been there before
there is always a way

King Solomon was wise to know
sometimes there is no compromise
I look into your angry eyes
and I can see your fear

the fear of losing what you love
of being judged
as not enough

my better judgment says
give up
and walk away from here

how can we worship time
when it hunts us down like animals?

how can we curse its name
when it brought our world to life?

the way that I perceive it
time is neither good nor evil

it is just as much a part of us
as love and dance and night

I don't feel creative

no

there is no starlight

in my soul


I can lie

or tell the truth

but I am saying nothing

new

held by the Earth
led by the Moon

molten temple
the rhythm holds sway

deep within me
it is always the night

I am the ocean
I am made of waves

I move forward one step at a time
sometimes I stop
and step to the side
sometimes slow and sometimes fast
sometimes fear sends me running back

The one within
Cannot be seen
Is only felt
Obeyed

No deeper well
No darker veil
No more perfect a shade

Who knows what lies
Beyond that veil
The shadow of the night

How far it falls
Beyond the pale
How infinite
How bright

My language is
A magpie's nest of
Shiny skyjacked mechanisms
A labyrinth, a mishmash
Of clashing competing components

Here and there
I wander the world
And recognize the shape of something
We took home
A thousand years ago

Melted and reformed
Bent and woven
Into our own
Piecemeal makeshift chrysalis
Our stolen home

sometimes I am afraid
to put my thoughts down onto paper
how do I make something normal?
how do I make something good?

afraid what I create
will turn out just as flawed as I am
just as morally ambiguous
as dimly understood

the need to be oblique
about how I'm unique
a freak

tangles the thread of thought so thoroughly
I am afraid to speak

I find
repressing my own mind
and second-guessing every confession

self censorship that slices
like a scythe
into my writing's spine

words are wanderers
where do they come from?
seeds on the wind
was there ever just one?

a spell of wisdom
madness and love
words cast no shadow
what are they made of?

we see a face
a solid                          shape
handful                     ­                 of stars
no time         and empty space         no place
              no words             to erase doubt               no way              
without a
 trace

Be yourself

If you become
Someone else
To get approval
They aren't approving of you
They are approving of
Someone else

But if even one person
Truly accepts you
For who you are

Then when you are with that person
You can be free

You can be yourself

^

Infinite

I am

Just a wave
Travelling
Down a long dark road
Flashes of bright light
A tunnel
Made of stars

Neuron to neuron
This is how one mind takes form

The tower goes deep

Lightning struck

Out of the darkness

Great light
Inside
This is what the mind is like

All the things we dream
In that time machine

This is what the mind is like
Inside
Great light

Out of the darkness

Lightning struck

The tower goes high

This is how one mind takes form
Being to being

Made of stars
A tunnel
Flashes of bright light
Down a long dark road
Travelling
Just a wave

We are

Infinite

v

this experiment was done
not so very long ago
it showed us the way that we
do whatever we are told

they believed they gave him shocks
until he made no more sound
even those who walked away
did not try to shut it down

I think that it goes to show
who we really are inside
not just "them" but all of us
who pretend we could decide

we want to believe that we
have some different kind of brain
NO ONE TRIED TO SHUT IT DOWN
and we follow just the same

I have gone down
a strange path
where I cannot read the signs

when I wear the shoes you want
I can't walk very far

when I wear the shoes you want
I can't walk quietly at all

when I wear the shoes you want
I can't outrun you anymore

someone that you can control

I think that is what you want

When I die, will I be like I was before my birth?
I will be the Earth, my love
I will be the Earth
And then what shall I be when Sun and Earth shall become one?
I will be the Sun, my love
I will be the Sun
And what then when the Sun shall lay her veil upon the dark?
I will be the stars, my love
I will be the stars
And what will I become when all the stars no longer shine?
I will be the sky, my love
I will be the sky

.                 boring                                               organized         .
  ******                                               elegant
     rude                                              funny
capriciou­s                                           exciting
  slutty                                        ****
  d­angerous                                    powerful
           fascist      Χ               6     obedient  
  scary     Ξ         6     cool
  wild     Σ  6    alive
  in truth we are
    human as you
    our demons are
    our   angels   too

if I'd been held
like this back then
I wonder who
I'd be today

probably not the one who waited
pushed all other men away

because I was not 'good enough'
because I was afraid to love

it took so long to find someone
because I built so many walls

and through it all
I always hoped
one day I could be understood

deep down
through all my darkest days
I always wanted to be good

if I had never run away
this dream would end

if someone like you
had been there to hold me then
I'm sure we never would have met

one day I will bloom
like the Moon

I look into the crystal
And I see the sand in flames

A lake of molten glass makes

Grey waves on the oasis
I pray for rain

I dreamed
a strange dark room
colossal
many flights of stairs
and in the middle
strange dark space
where some colossal
god once stood

Water takes its time
Water takes its turn
Water does not catch fire
Water does not burn

Water works together
Better than alone
Water washes walls away
Water cuts through stone

hidden in the well
of every human mind
there is a monster
we are drawn unto its image
as to any other mirror

do not be afraid
I'm here

I will defend you
have no fear

I have a weapon
I can fight

I will walk with you
in the night

I can look
around the corners

no trouble
it is my honor

I don't care
how long it takes

I am here to keep you safe

rest assured
and fear no more

let me walk you
to the door

I am here
I will defend you

throw a spider
out the window

I defend
and I pretend

I am the one
who is so brave

it makes it harder to admit
I am the one who is afraid

my thoughts about you do not rhyme
they are too twisted to repeat
the part of me that wants you
is a part of me that cannot speak

I see the world
When I look in the mirror
I am a melange
I am a chimaera

In a world where each
Has something to teach
I am a collage
I am a pastiche

Influence connects in
A million directions
Reflected reflections
I am a collection

Beholden, allegiant
To so many regions
I am not original
No
I am Legion

when I wander in your world
black       and       white
but mostly gray

sometimes I forget the way
and I stay more than a day

somewhere far
outside your sphere
there is fire on my horizon

light that cannot find me here

where I go to disappear

what happens when your
"good enough"
is just a rainbow you can walk toward
just a star that you can reach for
not a mountain you can climb

and though you reach out in longing
though you walk for miles and miles
the way still leads forever on
the same place in a different time

no matter how much you achieve
it never will be "good enough"
and so you walk away from love
far too afraid to even try

but if you could
forgive yourself
the same way you forgive another
I bet you could climb that mountain
all the way into the sky

help me

I pray

I don't know
if you're there

or how many you are

I don't know
if you care

but I ask anyway
just in case you can hear

I don't know what to say to you

help me

I pray