I am not                      
        deep like                         
the sea              
shallow    
                       like a              
                                                 ­                   rainbow                                       ­                                                                   I am a            
                                                                ­                wild river          
                                                                ­                      I move       
                                                     ­                        mountains           
                                                                ­    that I follow                     
                                                     standing stones                      
                                                   like broken bones                                
                           ­               show me where to go                          
                                    ­    deep within my soul I know                     
                           the       ocean      is     my      home

love is not a thing
it is a living creature
fang and claw and wing
always listening
though it knows no words
it stirs deep in the night
to sing

I do not need you
                                               to be me
I do not need you
                                                to belong
I do not need you
                                                  to be loved
I do not need you
                                                   to be strong

how long
until I pull myself together
and rise up

how many years
until I realize

I deserve the same respect
the same compassion

as any other being
on the face of the Earth

all I need to do
is open my hand

how long will it take
to find the strength
to do that

the phoenix
flies again in time
and time turns ashes
into diamond

caught in the middle
of an epic battle

one soul
but I cast two shadows

one wants pleasure
the other pain

feathered wings
and an iron chain

one tells me
to take and take

one tortures me
until I break

one tells me
I can't get enough

one tells me
I am not enough

I do not know
which one is wronger

they only make
each other stronger

and I see
my true soul under

shadows falling
on each other

If you don’t know
There is still hope
She lives in shadow
The unknown
Shadow of faith
Shadow of fear
She turns to joy
When you are near

you take a step
and you are somewhere new
the winding road ahead
comes into view

you'll see how far you've come
if you look back
you've come this far
now take another step

you take a step
but is this really new?
the winding road ahead
comes into view

you'll see how far you've come
if you look back
you've come this far
now take another step

you take a step
there's nothing else to do
the winding road ahead
comes into view

you'll see how far you've come
if you look back
you've come this far
now take another step

you take a step
and you are somewhere new
the forest is alive
the sky is blue

and you look up
instead of looking back

tomorrow
you will take another step

Little flock of birds
Silhouettes across the Moon
A handful of sand

One day there will be no more
                                                               hope
One day there will be no more
                                                             fear
One day there will be no more
                                                                 smiles
One day there will be no more
                                                                                 tears                  
One day there will be no more
                                                             joy
One day there will be no more
                                                                strife
One day there will be no more
                                                                 death
One day there will be no more
                                                             life

I kept her in chains
the animal in me
until she learned how to speak

now she speaks for me

I am in chains
and she is free

A golden flower
Opening into a bright
Mirror of the Sun

we are all
equally
a part of the great machine
creating
destroying
all the time
everything

to destroy
to create
these are really the same thing
both of them
are to change
recombine
rearrange

On the outside
I am the same
But deep inside
My soul is
c              
h          
a    
n
   g
      i
        n
             g
s      
h  
a
   p
       e

Every time I trip and fall
Or do a really stupid thing
Over my shoulder I can feel
The shadow of the angel's wing

everything
was all my fault
I was a monster
from the start

I should have changed myself
maybe
I could have deserved
to exist

hate myself for what I was
for what I said
for what I did

I look back at myself
and say things
no one should
say to a kid

there are trillions of suns
and diamonds are just carbon
ordinary things can shine so bright
and so can ordinary people

we all think
we are somehow different
that's what unites us

everyone
needs to be reminded that
humans are humans

comparing
and drawing lines in the sand
to divide ourselves

time and tide
dissolve our dividing lines
redrawn somewhere else

if I ever chose to die
I would never explain why

instead of let my friends
my mother
blame themselves
the world
each other

I would leave no trace
no note
an accident
that's all she wrote

I feel that I can tell you this
because I have chosen
to live

Gold shines the dragon
It is made of fire
And where it burns
The velvet veil of night
These are the stars

Gold shines the dragon
Deep within the sky
And in the bright ocean of day
We see
The dragon's golden eye

I miss my family
and my friends
I am so far away from them

I hope I'll see them all again
next year

I am so lonely here

Are you reading this in your own voice?
The voice of
Someone you love?
Maybe you are imagining
What you think my voice sounds like
But who am I?
Maybe my words
Do not make a sound
In your mind

Our minds are always full of peace

In the same way that

The sky is always full of stars

If I let go of my guilt
Does that harm someone
Can anything ever
Be undone

If I sit here
And torture myself
That only teaches me to torture
Someone else

Better if I
Let it go
Don't do it again
I already know

Wouldn't the world
Be much more fun
If we could forgive
Everyone?

I am so afraid
to leave

the only place I know

to let you
lead me to the light

The darkness is my home

Though we speak our different words
Though we wage our different wars
We all live on the same world
We all follow the same star

On the surface we are violent
Sound and fury, fife and drum
From the darkness we are silent
From the darkness we are one

The Queen of trees
Wears a crown of flowers
Lush and soft and sensuous
Cradling the Moon pale and full
Against the deep black sky

I hide my pain from a lot of people

I don't want to add to their problems

I am afraid to cry in front of my friends

I don't want them to see

the ways that I am broken

I want to be strong for them

So when they ask me how I am

I smile and say


"Everything is OK"


"Everything is OK"


"Everything is OK"



I tell the same lie

every day

God is the creator
Power is its face

Life is the destroyer
That lays its world to waste

Inch by inch
Life creates life
From what it has destroyed

As God without a single thought
Obliterates the void

I am the sky
The world is my
Eye

Infinite
All existence flows through me
Completely hollow

I try too hard to hide the way
I struggle with this every day

they cannot see
what holds me back
because these walls
are made of glass

they think that I
am holding back

I try to use my logic
to put their anger into perspective

but sometimes I can't

I'm sorry I am not enough

sometimes I try to explain
the ways I try
that they can't see

I try
but I find out which friends
pretend they can feel empathy

sometimes that's been a shock for me

but maybe I know how they feel
I pretend that I can do
the things people expect me to

is that the way it feels for you?
is that the reason you pretend?

do you try to feel empathy?
are you ashamed because you can't?

if that's not something you can do
then I should not expect you to

I've seen what you're capable of

I'm sorry it was not enough

I know that you
don't understand
why I'm still mad
after all this time

so maybe I should tell the truth
so you don't have to
be confused

I know you went
behind my back
and lied
and tried to have me fired!

I felt so afraid
I felt so betrayed
and you never said sorry
so I never forgave you

and now you think you made it right
cause you found someone else to fight

you think it's water under the bridge
hell no
it's not over
it's the whole **** river

and you can deliver
those same old lines
about how everyone you bully
somehow started the problem

and you can try to be my friend

but I'll never trust you
ever again

this whole **** thing
is all ****** up

I don't know how to help this

I don't

I don't know how to help
It makes me feel so helpless

if I involve myself in this
no matter if I'm selfless

I could just **** the whole thing up
so trying would be selfish

or is it selfish not to try
because I might **** up?

is it better to try and fail
trust blindly in dumb luck?

****

if I just knew more stuff
knew who to trust
if I knew

iF I JusT

**** that. I cannot.

I give up

****** up
no matter what

I almost forgot that feeling
When I felt like I could sing
I felt the starlight in my soul
Was one with everything

And now that I am free again
I am remembering
I move with joy
On this blue world
Who gave me back my wings

They tell me that I've lost my mind

Fake news! You're fired! That's a red line!

They tell me that my hands are small
they
don't
believe
me
BURN THEM ALL

sometimes I think of how I was
and wish that I was still so young

but then I think back with my heart
remember how it really was

I was so angry

I was scared

I was confused and insecure

I saw enemies everywhere

I was naive and immature

but I'm not sure who I would be
if I had never earned my scars

if I had learned more easily
and earlier
or not at all

I don't know if I would
or could
change something
if I could go back

if I had made a different choice
maybe I'd still believe in that

and if I had been wiser
maybe then I would have never failed

or gained the courage that can only come
from fighting tooth and nail

if I had made no such mistake
how different my life would be

I would not recognize myself
and you would not recognize me

and though I still get caught up in
I wish I had, I wish I hadn't

or I wish I had more time
or I wish I still looked like that

I guess I'm grateful for
all those mistakes that made me who I am

and just as grateful that
I do not have to be so young again

it's so hard
to believe

that anyone
could ever see me

the real me

and still want to
be near me

and still love me
and not fear me

and want to
stay with me

I am with you

but a part of me
is far away

inside my mind

frightened
hiding from the light

crawling through
this labyrinth

I built

to imprison my shadow

claws mark all the walls
some etched so deep

I can read by the light

too bright to find out
what's outside

the sky
or is it fire?

is my desire
too powerful to hold?

unmade

afraid to be made whole

It's hard to empathize with someone who does not empathize with you... but it's important.

doesn't matter
left or right

they are marching from both sides

I believe
there will be fire
no matter what we decide

either way
they'll say

they lied

take up arms
and take a side

the same storm on all horizons

we are watching
from the eye

I know who you are
And I think you're wonderful
Soul became a song

in the still air
grain fields shimmer
pale blue green
a silent sea