sometimes I think of how I was
and wish that I was still so young
but then I think back with my heart
remember how it really was
I was so angry
I was scared
I was confused and insecure
I saw enemies everywhere
I was naive and immature
but I'm not sure who I would be
if I had never earned my scars
if I had learned more easily
and earlier
or not at all
I don't know if I would
or could
change something
if I could go back
if I had made a different choice
maybe I'd still believe in that
and if I had been wiser
maybe then I would have never failed
or gained the courage that can only come
from fighting tooth and nail
if I had made no such mistake
how different my life would be
I would not recognize myself
and you would not recognize me
and though I still get caught up in
I wish I had, I wish I hadn't
or I wish I had more time
or I wish I still looked like that
I guess I'm grateful for
all those mistakes that made me who I am
and just as grateful that
I do not have to be so young again