When the burning leaves of autumn
Begin to fall, I can't help but wonder if
We will be keeping each other
Warm, because this season
Is always more comfortable when spending it
With your coffee mugs and record player
Because the weather is getting too
Cold to love alone, and you
Are my perfect company

You stand in my mind
Solid as a stone
Eternally eroded
By my imagination
Into something smoother
Into something you weren't before
Something a little more
Iridescent like mica
Like a shooting star
Cutting sharply through me
See that girl I was before?
Neither do I.

losing interest in this world around me
fading softly into the background
nobody sees
nothing can save me
falling faster than the rain in the storm
I've given in and lost control
this injured heart will stop its beating
when blood flows freely from my body
and air remains trapped around me
my lungs are empty
my pulse is gone
so let me go, let me fade, let me leave this world of pain
on my own I'll die away
turn away, don't watch this time
I don't want to hurt you anymore
you don't need to see this
just know I'll be gone
and this is my "Goodbye, I love you"
one last time

The problem with me is that I believe in souls.
A dangerous belief to say the least.
I feel as if I have lived this life a million times over
The pain is
so routine
so familiar
so real.
It is recognizable.
Quite.
I have been around a long time.
Though: I am not experienced.
Nor am I inexperienced.
I am not young. I am not grown. I am not old.
I never will be.
I am but a mere soul living in yet another tattered body.
A problem in itself.
But, if I am a soul I will exist forever.
And I am tired.

I tried to send you
all of my love on paper wings,
but something got lost in translation.
I spilled my heart but ink isn't nearly as thick as blood,
so I'll have to open up my veins and let you in.
I've been standing at my window, hoping the stars don't mind me saying, they could never compare to you,
Because they remind me there is so much more, but you're here to let me know that maybe I don't need it.
I don't know where you've been, or where you're going.
But honey, I'm just as lost as you are.
And maybe you don't know who you are,
but I've been a familiar stranger to myself my whole life,
and I'm willing to try and find myself in you.

How can I be?
I ponder
How I exist
Am I really here?
Are these
My arms
My legs?
Or am I imagining
Phantom limbs?
Without you
My chest is hollow
My heart
Just a fig newton
Of my imagination,
Where is me?
Where am I?
Where; under the sky
On this earth
Is my place?
Maybe I'm just
A last lone
Lingering thought
Of yours,
And soon
I'll cease
To be...

APAD13 - 121 © okpoet

Her love is graffiti
On the blank walls
Within me,
All those colors
All just seem
Like different
Shades of red
To me,
As they pool
At my feet
I admire her soul
Not like I have
X-ray vision,
But I've seen
Her beauty faded
Before me
As a rose
That wilts
As a flower
That withers,
All that is pretty
Isn't just plasticine,
It's real flesh
As every breath
Oxidizes from within,
I know that all that will be left
Is like
What it must be
For the deaf and blind
Only what I feel
From and for her
When I'm near...

APAD13 - 130 © okpoet