So let's pretend that my personality wasn't crap
That maybe I wasn't so attracted to poems and rap
Pretend I wasn't forced to vent my feelings to a paper and pen
That maybe I could speak to others without caving in
I'm like a house of cards, and you see the grin on my face
You let out your last breath and watch it all fade
Into the darkness, my soul floats away
And I'm so sick of these creatures and that I even have to say
"These words are my own on all these letters I've made"
So let's pretend that I could help who I am
Let's pretend I even knew who I was
But it all really disgusts me because
These people aren't who they claim to be
I don't say who what I am, because I don't even know me
I don't know what they hell I'm made of
They say it's water and blood, but which one do I trust?
With water I survive, but I'll need it like an addiction
But with blood, I'll survive, but I'll create another victim
And I'm so sick of this constant circle of doubt
I don't want to be another lost soul, how do I get out?

holy ****
I thought I was over you

I thought your touch no longer sent electric through my body
I thought your lips no longer made my heart ache

but *******,
I don't understand how the mere image of words scribbled sixteen ******* months ago could leave me so damaged, so torn to shreds

and I've never hated someone as much as I hate you
so how the **** do I also love you?

I wanted you to fix what we had
yet you didn't even care enough to attempt it

at first you only took half of my heart, but you got greedy
you scorched my chest and stole the other half
and then you ******* laughed

you began to tear my heart in chunks
and gave it out to anyone who would take it




it's amazing how after all this time I still can't look at anyone with a half-smirk smile because I see your haunting face staring back,

*******

mary had a little lamb she wanted him to swim
she found a great pond then mary threw him in
the lamb began to drown he was turning blue
she took him home and cooked him
and turned him into stew

incy wincy spider got stuck in a spout
his *** was far too big  there was no way out
so they called the plumber to set poor incy free
the plumber got him out a clever chap was he
incy lost some weight his fat *** now has gone
now up and down the drainpipes he can carry on

To get the attention which I crave,
must a be a materialist slave,
******* out to the highest bidder,
get me a look and I'll never reconsider,
being within this self-centered life,
filled with someone's drama, love and strife,
my friends are the magazines on the stand,
as I judge them on which is more tanned.
I used to have hopes, dreams and aspirations,
I was original and had my own foundations,
but as I aged and my desires grew deep,
I began to follow with the other sheep,
social interaction was overrated,
I just need a like for my addiction to be sated,
for what's the use of a dear old friend,
when I've got a friend request to send.

One by one
My petals fell
And I gradually
Became a ****

My beautiful flower
That blossomed and bloomed
Wilted over the seasons
That you controlled

I thrived through spring
Flourished in the summer
Drooped in the fall
And faded into nothing in the winter

A rose full of life
Vivid with color
Became an eye sore
Amongst the other flowers

Now I am nothing
But a useless, ugly ****
Deprived of life and love
And from my only sun