Sometimes I just wanna feel
all that's right and all that's real
because I don't wanna be numb
I wonder if i'm the only one
with chaos raging in my head
I think of all the times I bled
for others, and their empty hearts
that I don't know just where it starts
the separation from others
sisters and brothers
because I feel like a vessel, a force
when i'm just trying to stay on course
they bleed into me, shed their tears
confess their sins, confess their fears
come to me when they're broken, as if I can heal
when I just wanna be alive (and feel, feel, feel)
something that's mine, don't take that away
always searching for that better day
I feel it building, in my eyes a storm will rage
my insides feeling empty, my heart in a cage
building up walls
just to watch them fall

I'd taken Ingrid
to see a film
about Daniel Boone
in some flea pit cinema
in Camberwell Green

and we stood outside
and waited
for a bus home
and it started
to spit with rain

she looked cold

should have brought
your raincoat
I said

it's torn at the arm
and Mum hasn't
mended it yet
she said

about time
she did then
what's she waiting for
summer?

Dad told her
to make me wait
for being naughty

I looked at her
standing there shivering
her brown hair
getting damp
and looking bedraggled
her grey dress
beginning
to cling to her

here have my jacket
I said

but then you'll
get wet

so what
I'm a boy
I'm like Daniel Boone
I can take stuff
what's rain?
just water
coming down vertically

so I took off my coat
and put it
around her
and she held it
tight around her

that better?

yes warmer
she said  

I stood there
getting wet
my sleeveless jumper
and shirt dampening

now I feel guilty
you getting wet
she said

I like getting wet
reminds me
of the soldiers
in WW1
in the trenches
getting wet
standing in mud
and some one
firing at them
this is a piece
of cake compared

my uncle said
he'd get me
a new coat
she said
but Dad
won't let him

is that the uncle
who gives you money
for doing things?

she nodded

just as well
you don't get
the coat
or God knows
what you'd have
to do for that
I said

she looked away
going a tomato red.