I feel your heart dripping with saturation
To the point of sedation
It makes you afraid and stray away
From all your playcating
Playful ways being sated

And my own pain has been harbored
Within my lonesome self hatred
For many years at a time
Creating empty spaces

But you are not vacant
Within the confines of your walls
You're only frightened of slipping
Or falling at all

But you speak to me
With the shine in your eyes
In between the words you say
You're a clever artist
Gone, lost and departed
With what you convey

I refrain from saying too often
That I see your approach soften
Because you're lying there naked
Inside of your coffin

Beckoning sweetly for me to meet you Somewhere in the ground
So that we can exchange soft phrases
Without making a sound
Never again will I pull you away
When you don't want to be found...

Just know I'm listening
To your splendid reminiscence
I'm not giving in
To my own cognitive dissonance
Now that I see you clearly
And I feel you dearly
I want you near me

There's no fear and no pain
I'll be hanging around
Waiting to call out your name
Until the time comes
For us to say goodbye
Anyways, I love you
I had the time of my life

A Saint's fall from grace
Was written in subtle remission
Misgiving the unknown lengths
Within his impending perdition

He sits alone with Familiar near
Drawing permissive ethereal energy
Through a single ring finger
Seemingly from nowhere

Incoming ancient rites
Through unprecedented sight
Which is merely a foreplay
Unto the forays of his personal plight

For he lays with the knowledge
Of angels, deities, and Divine kings
Paralyzed within these confines
And unable to speak
The peril of an incorrigible feral beast Presently feeding on his precious sleep

A sanctified clandestine ritual
Opaque within the haze
For the utter ignorance of his current form Can not be fazed

All the while perched above him looming
The orders of the past
Which cast his imminent ruin
Strangulated by a single urgent thought
To which is owed his undoing

An existence to remain subservient
Fluid, and entirely alone
As was the expedient nature
Of his excommunication from the throne

And though he's been devoted
Thoughtful and reminiscent
There still lies a lingering shadow
Dissipating in the distance
The latter to which can not be replaced
With any amount of insistence

For ice burns the veins
That label him a Saint
There's no way to defame
Or ever replace an ordained vocation

Innate spun the tine of the fate's Creation
Needless abandon to pursue explanation When the weight of his burden
Entirely subdues resignation

It's simply the ripples of the current Resounding within his present station

Whispering into the deep heart of his fear
With it's morbid, amorphous face
Ever reminding him the story
Of his final fall from grace

"You can not die in a soul prison
You can only be reborn."

If I am destined to die this day
My preemptive fate is to endure
The cross's burden of the reincarnate
This cryptic incantation spurned
If not reanimated by concentric hatred
Burning within like a fire concentrated

I can think of
No better form of poetic justice
Than to be subjected to yet
Another lifetime
Of helpless suffering

Screaming at my creator
Without an articulate tongue
My thrashing heart weighed against
The pure and chaste plume of the Dove

I've already been designated
For another trip around His Sun
The vast black hole of gases
Worshipped as a God

And when my eyes meet their demise
And I'm lifted from this fable dream
I'll bare my tortured soul once again
Returning petrified and unable to scream

I thought I heard ringing
From a familiar alarm
While happening upon your wounded,
though still beating heart

For I'll forever take pleasure
In removing their glass shards
Whether the stakes bless my favor
Or forsake my stars

You stood so firm
In the midst of chagrin
Like a Cheshire cat
Boldly tilting her chin

And I understand how
A blister under the skin
Can demand a cure for the itch
Of it's lingering burden

So I decided then and there
To invite you to a fantasy
Like your all-time favorite
Cherished childhood Disney

Where you could dance the night away
And laugh and sing, but
Also where the smile stays in your eyes
Most importantly

Little did I know
In the midst of all my plans
You'd reach right back
Searching to uncover my guarded stance

And through some kind of clandestine
Clairvoyant pretense
You hopped on the wall
Peering through my broken defense

Like blue orbs beaming
With no sign of retreating
I was paralyzed by your sunlight
I had no chance of defeating

Only beckoning, softly, and entreating
You pulled me in beneath the surface
Before the instant was fleeting

Somehow
You made me take a moment
To stop and think
How to draw a line
That's left behind
And for once remain succinct
Revitalize a pacified panic button
Without a necessary distinction

So best believe
When I say your name
(because I can't refrain)
You'll hear all about how it's adorned
With calligraphy from the memory
I'll retain
And smiling silently
(while showing my teeth)
I'll hope you feel the same
Until next we meet, Calisa Mae

Lucifer heard overtures
And melodic bells
Akin to the kind fine tuned
Whilst under angels' spells

They orchestrated a plan
Sinister and wicked
The task given Him
Once fallen from Heaven's thicket

For it had been blessed and ordained
An order
Sanctified
Justified
Maintained

He knows no malice
No sign of chagrin
Save the knowledge of this righteous Resolution

As the master plan begins
There was a ringing
Each time Seraphim did approach near
But his intention was devout
And distinctly clear

Singed within his heart
No torturous malady
But a signate of Hope
To His fixated reality

An answer to questions
Of destitude and control
With either road traveled
Consequences tend to fracture the soul

Each Piece of Eight
Broken from the Whole
To satisfy and quench
A clandestine mold

And because He's been told
Forsaken to behold
This is simply another story foretold

Little to wonder
With nothing to rally
When the Pieces fell in line
For the perfect finale.

I'm reaching with searching fingers Rewinding my present time
For some lost, lingering epiphany
I may have left behind
Desperately digging
For who I'll never be
Retrieving my sighing hands
Reminded that I'll find only Me

The remaining grains of sand
Slipping from my hand
I will lose myself
In the midst of my other plan
And I'll lose you too
For the clever ruse
Says you get what you see
But I was never pretending
Only presenting who I wanted to be

Loss is what I have come to know
I only fabricate schemes of finding home Stealing from other stories
With broad spectrums
And respectful categories
I can begin to see
Somewhere peaceful
Behind a clouded dream

I'm a parasitic husk
Reaching out
To devour and consume anyone
Foolish enough to exhume my past
And I fear that once I become sated here
There will remain no way back

I'm reaching with searching fingers Rewinding my present time
For some lost, lingering epiphany
I may have left behind
Desperately digging
To where I'll never be
Retrieving my sighing hands
Reminded that I'll find only Me

My friends
My possessions
My home
The life that I sacrificed
In search of redemption
Or to make sense
Of some unknown calling
All was wasted when I did not die

So now I can't stand
To be trapped in my skin
Let me forget that I'm here
Just for a single moment
Allow me to live
Vivaciously visualizing a daydream
Where all that I see isn't haunting me
With the broken tendrils of a lost reality Twisting and turning my righteous grief
Into the one I despise, a father of deceit.

Ever precarious
Always vicariously
The nefarious cycle fights to repeat
Through my sober
I'm still not safe
Now that the running is over
I'm still making martyrs
Trying to stake their claim
As if I have any idea
How to get back from Me
Once again