As dry as the desert
As light as a feather
I will hold you close
In my arms forever

I enjoy watching the sunrise,
on the porch in my chair,
morning coffee.. first cigarette
I could be dying.. I still wouldn't care

Breathing life into vision
the colors erupt as the light invades
the warmth spreads to me
a splash of hope.. a splendid taste.

The way the dew glimmers
while trees dance in the wind
the birds sing their song
almost absolving my sins.

Experiences like this keep me grateful
for the hardship I endure.
I don't take medicine for my depression..
a dose of reality is the cure.

The sun tires almost instantly
I see by the pink streaked sky.
I extinguish my last cigarette..
as the light says its goodbye.

Her heartbeat echoes
Through the corridors
Of my memories.

Her aroma intoxicates
The fragile essence
Of my sobriety

Her words resonate
Through my mind
Over and over

Her faithlessness extinguished
The raging flame
Of my life.


I am defeated.

I wish you could see
How broken you left me
Lying in pieces
Struggling to put myself
Back together
The sky is blue
But not over me
An ominous cloud lurks
Raining torrentially
Washing bits of pieces away
From my pile of ******* nothingness
That my bleeding hands fight
To grasp hold of any
Shard of who I was
So I can slit my wrists
And use my blood as glue
To hold all I am left
Together.
But I can not adhere
Any of them together
So I'll just say **** it
And watch the pieces wash away
In the Torrential downpour
That is my life.

Here I am
Falling to pieces
Are you the one?
To put me back together?
I know I'm scarred..
Not much to look at at
Buy beneath the skin
Resides a ride or die man
Don't judge a book
By its cover
I am living proof
Of such a notion
Take my hand
Hear my words
They're more than
Just statements
I love you now
And I will
Love you til the end
Tick tock goes
The clock
Bombarded endless beats
Here I am once again
Falling to pieces
Be the glue
Be the string
That holds me together
And I promise you
Nobody
Will ever hurt you again.
Trust in me
Follow through
I am not a liar
Help me find
A piece of mind
I'll never abandon you
Here i am
Yet again
A pile of pieces
Not much to see..
But trust in me
And..
You'll never hurt again.

I walk through life alone
Absent emotion
Face set like a stone
Through the dark I roam
Where I lay my head
Is where I call home
Could be here or could be there
Don't ask me to tell
Because I'm not sure where
My eyes a permanent stare
Cut me stab me I assure
You I don't care
I've been there before
Its no suprise when
Hurt beats down my door
Sure I can't take much more
But I'm alive and as so
I endure
Don't you look down on me
Sure I'm a ****** mess
In my blue jeans
Dont like it then don't look at me
I walk alone down this
Lightless street
The world's a barren place
And on every tree I
Still see her face
You don't know how bad that tastes
I laugh and smile
But hide my empty state.

I used to play the game
She loves me.. she loves me not
Now a pile of rotting pedals
Is all that I have got.

The phone is ringing
But I wont answer
For I know the caller
The emotional cancer
The words she'd spew
Treacherous.. Lies
The traps she'd set
With the tears she'd cry
The spell she weaves
Without even thinking
Grasps my essence
And leaves me weeping
No the phone may ring..
Buy I wont answer
For I'm already victim
Of cupids cancer

Eyes closed, reality fades
Drifting into memories
Reliving life.. Decisions made
Knowing they can never change

Reaching out to touch her face
The one sure thing.. You cant replace
..Night progresses slow and cold
Lucid dreams feel so alone

When she consumes and devours
Your sanity more every hour
Minutes pass all turns sour
Try to wake but lack the power

Color fades losing control..
Am I still dreaming? F#ck I dont know

Close your eyes and picture this
While love yet exists on our lips
The future ahead, the road behind
Make your choice..
But don't make it blind

So many memories we've left to make
Possible life we may yet create
With so much possible we could do..
You can do it without me..
But it would be hollow without you

So while you ponder your next step
While my palms shake, covered in sweat
As i drop to my knees and ask you this
Would you be the one
Yo fulfill my wish

In this life the next, forever after
Would you complete my life with laughter
Would you be down to ride or die
If so accept this ring
And be my bride.

To the girl that stole my heart
The same woman who broke it
Moon light shows the truth
And valentines day provoked it..
Back from trade school I ventured
Forever was the plan
And you would never leave me
A loyal worthy man
Day drags me into worry
So thoughts invade my head
Much too soon to realize
For I was far from dread
Promises like pills and poison
You dosed me while unknowing
Didn't realize you were playing
Really had me going
Even now I see only apathy
Mean words wont wash away in time
It kills me to have to say it
Anyway read the 1st word a line

My heart covered with ice
Impossible to thaw
So cold inside
No way to ignite
An ember to life
Warmth denied
In my hearth.

My blood pressure rises
With each reciprocating motion
Her perfect body makes
As she draws back the bow
To fire the arrow
Of me.

The silence of your whispers
when you speak to me.

the erotica you use on my mind
sets my mental state at ease

when you grab my hands and embrace them
tell me to have my way

clothes undone, ready for some fun
and I can't look away

your eyes so memorizing
beauty captivates my cell

your body sculptured perfect
if theres a flaw I couldn't tell

you bite my lip, breathing
go faster.. harder please

scratches down my back, prove I do not lack
the ability to fulfill your needs.

the sun has gone down tonight
the aroma of us has followed..

in the aftermath of our naked clash..
my endurance dwindles hallow.

When life gives you lemons..
Make lemonade..
When life gives you ****..
Fertilize your garden.

To all the world
All my friends
As I close in
Near the end
A tight rope stretched
Forced to strain
And deep inside
A lake of pain
I drowned the sorrows
Trapt inside
Now all there is left to say
Is.. I'm sorry and goodbye.

Am I alone? Does anyone see?
What's become of our "democracy"?
Withholding truths.. spewing lies
Sacrificing countless lives
Americans starving in our streets..
But providing enemies with guns and meat..
A handful of people acting as god
Keep society lethargic.. and nothing is flawed
Build it, destroy it.. rinse and repeat
The few count they're money, and refuse to retreat
Political scandals.. crash of the dollar
They yank the leash, we wear the collar
You do as your told, blind by the bliss
But if you took five minutes if you could resist..
The fast cars and money, the ridiculous media
The star struck obsession the news like to feed ya
Just put down your cell phone and open your eyes
Our country is collapsing.. and society's blind..
Your vote doesn't matter they know the selection
Dead people voted!!! When bush won election
I guess with all this **** running through my head..
As this election nears I am filled with dread..
Mischievous candidates.. propaganda overloaded
Tell me who'd be the President?
If nobody voted?

When we come face to face
I'm mumble mouthed for sure
From all the broken memories
Laying in pieces on the floor

When you draw your excuses
I still cannot point the blame
In the end it's all my fault
Every ounce of pain

I look you in the eyes
And..my words seem to falter
You cry for my forgiveness
But that cannot be altered

I counted days alone
I spent cleaning out my conscious
Now you blow in wrecklessly
And all I feel is nausious

I can see the hurt
You truly do regret..
But that is not enough
To ever make me forget

The way you chose to end it
Threw my heart on the floor
Laughed and prodded my emotions
Until I couldn't take it anymore

It took me to move
A thousand miles away
So I could finally escape
These awful games you play

So please do me a favor
Hear the words I speak
For they are far more kind
Than the ones you left for me..

You'll always be in my heart
My first everything was you
You have my forgiveness
But we cannot start anew

I'll love you forever
But your love is not true
Today's the day you love me..
And the day I cannot love you.

Its been a long, long time
Cant seem to find
Any shred of peace of mind.

Thoughts invade, tranquility escapes me
Memories bombard
And reality rapes me.

Crooked steps come, close behind
A sinister trap
But I'm far from blind

A calculative maneuver, clever plot
But you've yet to taste
The hell I've brought

Bring on your best, I've faced this before
I'll go down swinging
In this ******* war.

I tried to bury my feelings
Tried to pretend they weren't there
While you were doing you
While you didn't care

And now as I've thrown
The final shovel
On the grave of my heart..

You blow in like a hurricane..
And want to press restart..

After all the words you chose
The means you chose to end..

And alas I can never turn my back..

So..

Here we go again..

Break me down, watch me burn
Light the fire, make me learn

Ive been bad, I can't fake it
Its gunna hurt, but I can take it

Sew my eyes shut, cut out my tounge
Bind my legs, so I can't run

Heart's still beating, not sure why
Hanging by a thread, why can't I die?

Tunnel vision sets, a white light.. no..
I'm falling through hell
With a long way to go.

Lately, I've been down
Lost inside my mind
Probe deep.. dig deeper
I'm sure you will find

Alone and, misguided
Roaming through heart
It looks good, peaceful
But deep inside it falls apart

I know not, where I'm off to
But I know all too well
Ill always, be alone
In my heart's lonesome cell.

We have went different ways
A long, long time ago
Many moons have passed over us
Each one seems to slow

The crickets used to chirp
In the damp, and brisk night air
Now soft weeping, deep breathing
Is all there is to hear

Music used to sooth us
We listened tangled on the bed
Now the notes match the rhythm
But the songs are dead

Instruments collect dust
In the corner on their stand
So close is the Tranquility
But peace is a foreign land

We watched the tear drops form..
On the windows of our cell
Now alone with not but brokenness
You left me in this hell.

The only thing worse
Than being alone
Is being alone together.

What happened to the time
When love was
Always and forever..

Tell me what has happened
To the love we used to share
Why did you just let me go
Like you never even cared

Tell me whats been trampling
Through your georgous mind
When you close your eyes
Is it my face you find..

Tell me what has changed
In the days of your retreat
Do you feel victorious
Over my hearts defeat?

Tell me do you love me..
Do reciprocate my pain
When its bright and sunny
Does your reality rain

I'll tell you what has happened
Since you walked away
Mt heart still beats for you
Even though its been betrayed

I'll tell you whats been eating me
Drilling through my head
Its sleeping on the couch
Because I still feel you in my bed

Don't tell me that your sorry
Because its what I want to hear
Don't come back looking
Baby cause I will not be here.

Just open your eyes
You will surely see
All that I would sacrifice
If youd come back to me
I know the worlds big
Full of possibilities
But its easy to lose the forest
While your gazing at the trees.

She walks through the corridors of my mind
Leaving nothing but longing behind
My god how could I have been so blind
Not to see this woman in front of me..
The entire time.

Smash through my walls
Like the wrecking ball you are
Leave me open and vulnerable
Allow the world to eat at me
It took so long to *****
That which I was hiding behind
Then through the darkness
I thought I saw a light
I lay my guard down
For just a second
And there you were
A cataclysm of emotions
I thought had died long ago
Plows through my barricades
With no mercy
I close my eyes hoping..
It is all just a mirage
That I am still safe behind
My impenetrable fortress
But nay,
I open my eyes..
And all I ever tried to forget
All I felt.. the memories..
your smile..
Looking around..
Everything I had built..
Lost..
Because I trusted you again
And as you walk away
Here I lay
In a pile of brokenness
Struggling to rebuild
Whats left of my serenity.

Did it hurt?
When you fell
Out of the ***** tree
And slept with every branch
On the way down?
Its okay
I understand.
Cant have a body like yours
And a heart beat too.

My father
Who art in new York
Hallowed and most likely drunk
My car broke down
My gas tank empty
In new York as it is at home
Give me this day
My daily ration
Of distaste and dismay
Forgive me for my ignorance
As I forgive those as ignorant as you
Lead me away not in the ways of you
Deliver me from seed

Seems a different life
Was the last time
We gazed into each others eyes

But in fact
I stare into those
Light brown eyes
Every night.

I just wonder
If I ever cross your mind.

I dont wanna wait forever
But I guess I must
I dont wanna be drug deeper
But I feel the cut
And in the end all I feel
Is broken mistrust..
Just know I hurt
More than enough
because I loved
For both of us

The sun tires almost instantly
Even though the days anew
Life has picked up its pace
Since I'm no longer with you

It's scary to see the seasons
Go by like day and night
I have so much fight left in me
But there's no battle to fight

I hear your voice in my dreams
I feel your lips on mine
Alarm clock rings and I wake up
To a lonely state of mind.

Forget the past
To find the present..

Neglect the present
Lose the future

Mistakes in past
Regret in present

And only misery
Is in your future.

Don't look at me with your eyes
So deep, dark, and full of lies
Shed some light on your true side
camouflage and smoke you hide behind
Lure me in.. I know what I'll find..
A ****** beautifully sinister mind.

Shelter me..
From myself..
Lead me away from roads
Im wandering down
Give me.. Protection please
Be the one thing in my life
I dont have to defeat..

Are you the one?
Im searching for..
Dont say yes
If your not sure..
As for my brokeness
There is no cure
If you cant stay
Just close the door
Ive gotten used to being last
Look in my heart..
Look at my past
Loves a promise
That dies too fast..
So all I really have to ask is..
Shelter me.

Don't pity my life, nor my pain
Don't **** on my back..
And tell me it's rain.

There was a time I'd wait
For you
There was a time I'd die
For you

There was a time the rain
Didn't matter
There was a time the pain
Didn't matter

There was a time that I wasn't
Afraid
There was a time I wouldn't
Roll in my grave
There was a time
Yeah there was a minute

When I couldn't see life
Without you in it
There was a place.. We called home
That's still the place
I write alone

Drifting out of consciousness
Her voice like a lullaby
Lucius hair and lipstick
She cleverly hides behind..
Pulls me in and I am lost
To roam this tragic dream
Where everything is how I want it
Yet nothing is as it seems
For the flowers start to wilt
The sky from blue to gray
My dreams turn to nightmares
The second she walks away

Hundreds of people
In the crowd around me
But I've never felt
More alone

I've spent infinite time
Adrift in solitude
And was forced
To build a home

The storm constantly darkens
Gorging on the light
Inside of me hope
Has given up the fight

I drone through the day
Normal people around me
I paint on a smile
But Inside I'm drowning

As this greyhound takes me closer home
My stomach turns
And I go numb

Memories invade and **** my sobriery
Flashes of the past
Interupt and remind me

Reasons I left, swore to never return
I look at my life..
Reminiscences churn

My mental infrastructure shakes violently
Threatening to collapse
Losing inner harmony

My conscience splitting, down the middle
And I lack the education
To solve this riddle

Greyhound stops.. Its final destination
And I find myself again..
Seeking salvation.

Don't cry for me
You left me
I don't need your winds
Of pity
To set sail
On this sea
I propell
Soley on misery.

The sun is setting and darkness coming
And once again I find myself running
For with the night comes the changing
In my head its always raining

I can run, but can never hide
Only light keeps at bay the demon inside
Without the warmth I become only numb
Abandon all hope as I come undone

Claw at my skin until its blood red
Cocked and loaded barrel to the head
Memories flash as reality flickers
I can end it all if I just pull the trigger

Alone in my nothingness nobody would care
My peripheral vision now drowning in tears
Day breaks the gloom.. Warmth starts to spread
And I am alone, on the floor dead.

It matters not where I go
All roads always lead me
Home.