Down by the market, past
The only stop light
We would walk, and talk
Make out all night
Forbidden love
But it felt so right
Go to sleep early
Sneak out all night

The winter was cold
Friction warmed us both
Enough to get naked
Make love in the snow
Until we pocket dialed on
Your old cell phone
2:30 am your mom was home
I wish I could see her face
When she first heard you moan

Havent seen you in years
But this I know
You still smile
Whenever it snows.
If thats true
You're not alone
Because I'm cold as hell
And popping up a bone.

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me the bedpost master
**** me ride me bite me

I was just 16, nothing as it seemed, wasting days away, living in a dream.

Hands clasped tight, long walks through the night, the look in her eyes, I knew I had chosen right.

Took her in the field, kissin, coppin feels, decided it was time, oh god it was so real,

The rain beating down, clothes scattered around, and there under that old pine, tangled naked on the ground..

Her body rose and fell, and the aroma of her smell, the way she climbed on top, and rode me straight to hell,

The heat was raw intensity, and the scratches left on the back on me, juices flowing fluently.. I see it still so vibrantly.

Beauty still unmatched, oh my god what a catch, took over a year for me to get her on her back

But ohh was it ever worth the ride, I still smile inside, whenever I close me eyes
Still lights a fire inside..

Hard to believe it was both our first time, but I knew it was she was so tight inside, tangled, naked slip n slide.. My god that girl knew how to ride.

Somebody help me I can't breathe
I find myself cowering
On my knees

I reach out earnestly begging please
I've never asked for help..
It's foreign to me

You're all marching by too blind to see
I am human too..
******* notice me.

I toss and turn
Like a ship in the ocean
Like a mad man
Void of emotion

Compass points to
Wealth and riches
Full speed ahead
To beers and *******

Had enough of these
Lying deceiving
Girls who say
They're never leaving

But as soon as
The adventure ends
They write me off
As less than friends

They say any port
Is good in the storm
As long as it has alcohol
And a place to keep warm

I don't look at
Life that way
I look for the port
To stay

But all this time
Coasting trial and error
Play my cards carefully
Cuz I'm afraid to scare her..

But here I am
Still sailing
To that woman worth
More than nailing.

A notch on the belt
Of captain yours truly
A tad bit corny
***** and unruly

Maybe I'll find her
Somewhere more exotic
Find that woman that
Defines mere ******

But until that day
Comes with the horizon
I seek my comfort
In the eyes and the thighs in..

The place I wake up
Safe and warm
Because there is truth in..
Any port in the storm.

Walking down this dark highway
Wondering if you pass thought my way
And if you do then what do you say?
Your memory is all I have left today
Not what you needed at the time I guess
Because if I were you wouldn't have left
So I find myself now holding my breath..
Staring down counting back my steps
Its funny how life twists and turns
Its amazing how fast bridges burn
Light the right ones up and a lesson learned
Spending every penny earned
Don't need the money or society
Because all I need is already inside me
My way back to you and our rivalry
Through the night the burning bridges guide me
Spectacular view.. from where I'm now stranded
You threw me away but look where I landed
For all the miles I have now expanded
Fought my way back nothing's been handed..
I spit out your taste and your name
Point your finger yeah I'm to blame
For being a loyal lover and the one that came
For you when your life was going insane..
So now I walk and all that's left to say
I'm not sorry I wasn't good enough that day
I look into the night and wander astray
and these burning bridges light my way.

I've tried calling
And I've tried texting
I've tried sleeping
No hope of resting

You're on my mind
You're in my dreams
I see the signs but
Don't know what they mean

Am I doomed to love you
When will you ever see
I was meant for you
And you were meant for me.

Today I saw the sky
Drowning in the rain
I saw the world's negligence
And felt our worlds pain
We as a species
Disconnected from our earth
Comfort found from possession
Instead of family by the hearth
I saw our world crying
From the pain we have caused
The Forrest stripped to nothing
The northern ice now thawed
And as we turn a carless eye
To our world and our mother
Neglecting all we've been given
Provided for like no other
All in life we need..
Was not created by man
We have simply forgotten
How to live off of the land
One day rapture will come
Not biblical but for sure
And mother nature will abandon us..
Like our species has done her.
Our world is dying..
And resetting..
Is the cure.

The trials I've been facin'
Nothin' like the dreams I'm chasin'
Traveled round the continent
Memories of time I've wasted

Seems like of all the places
All the drugs and girls tasted
I'd find peace in sobriety
But all I've ever been is wasted

Now I look in the mirror..
And oh my god I hear her
Screamin' callin' out my name
I hit the glass.. cuz I can't be near her

The blame the fault is mine
For all the borrowed misused time
I shake I sweat I try to sleep
Ive dug myself in deep this time

I wish I could forget
I try to pray away regret
God ignores my pleas for help
Because I've cried wolf before I bet..

Time is passin' I'm no younger
In life there is so much to plunder
I look ahead to brighter days
But all the forecast calls for thunder

I think it's time I stop tryin'
Wastin' precious breath from cryin'
Paint on a smile, pretend I'm fine
So no one will see inside I'm dyin'

Try to drown my sorrow
Try to  pretend tomorrow
Wont be just another day
Down this road I follow..

But I'm at the bottom of the bottle
Ive went and gone full throttle
Looking back in my rear view
Sobriety.. Is not my motto..

Another rack of *****
I toast each one to you
Thank you for the memories
I relive on my drunken cruise

The radio echoes out to me
And all my heart has come to be
Empty bottles hide the floor
Evidence of my self-mutiny

Had a few too many now I see
The lanes in the road now multiplying
A crack, a smirk, and pop the cork
And run this car into a ******* tree.

Its hard to say goodbye
When I see you every night
Every time I close my eyes
When darkness consumes the light

Its hard to say goodbye
When my memories come knockin'
As I place more nails
In my hearts fated coffin

Its hard to say goodbye
When you were once hello
The very best of me
I do not wish to let you go

Its hard to say goodbye
To the angel that graced my life
The one who once said yes..
When I asked her to be my wife

Its hard to say goodbye
I fumble on the symbols
My palms are shaking violetly
As all I know comes to a close

Its hard to say goodbye
When your world is falling apart
When your left out in the rain
Trying to revitalize your heart

Yes its hard to say goodbye..
When you don't want it to end
When your perfect fairy-tale
Turns out to be pretend..

Am I not your poor your weak?
Your wretched refuge from a teeming shore?
Do you not still hold the lamp?
Before me at the golden door?

Who is able to decide..
Who is the free and the brave?
The ones who sit back and enjoy?
The wealth gained day by day?

The ones who never had to prove
Or be alone against the struggle
The ones who never faced the storm
Never even touched a shovel?

Is this not the land I'm told..
That is free and for the masses?
And position is not imposed
Or subjected just as assets

As an American I have to ask
What was the point of all this war?
When we are simply going back..
To all that we were before?

The belief that one was equal to all
The terrible government crippled us all
And beneath the rubble did they not crawl?
To fight back against this demonic brawl?

In the end all I have to say
Is we did not give millions of lives away..
To keep waging war or giving labels..
Just give me one reason how you are able?...

To decide who deserves to be free..
Who decides where serenity is allowed?
To say that to be an immigrant..
Has simply overflowed the crowd?

Is America not for the free?
For the ones who fight every day?
The ones that lay awake and pray
For poverty to go to grave?

Is this the land not for the brave?
Not for the ones who battled their way?
The ones who fought every night and day?
Does the lamp still not guide their way?

Coursing through my veins
Like venom after bite
Slowly becoming paralyzed
Fighting for my life
Choking on my *****
Vision black as night
Pulse about to flat line
Thats what your love is like.

I am aware, I need to let go
That all we once were
Has flown out the window.

I know it has been long enough
How can you look so happy
And I look so rough

It is easy to see, just not accept..
Tears swell my eyes
I draw my breath

Your smile reflects my rotting insides
I try avoiding your gaze
As you walk on by

I can pretend to be just fine
Not putting myself out
To be left to dry

To the moon and back?
Forever and a day..
How can we be friends..
When you threw it all away?

The suns gone down.. back tomorrow
and here i lay awake now hallowed
and the words i wished id swallowed
the path in life i wish id followed..
means nothing now because i was weak
inside myself where secrets keep..
the ones that wake my deepest sleep
and out of me creeps sanity..
to her i mean nothing..
for she left me in the past..
but id still tell her i loved her..
even if that breath is my last.

Laying in the pile
Of broken hopes and dreams
All I know is pessimism
All I hear are screams

Slowly I am crushed
And what little is left of me..
All I feel is anger
All I know is agony

Everything I am
who Im trying to be..
All I know is Im alone
All I feel is misery

Im in a hole so deep
The light is but a speck
And all I know is loneliness
All I feel is regret

I know you don't care anymore but..

It hurts when I breathe
It hurts when I speak
It hurts when I convince myself
To get back on my feet
It hurts to see a smile
And to drown in the rain
It hurts so ******* much
I think all I know is pain
It hurts to watch love movies
It hurts to be alone
It hurts to see the pictures
Still sprawled throughout our home
It hurts to wake up everyday
And hurts to close my eyes
It hurts to take these lonely walks
Under the darkness in the sky
It hurts to look at women
It hurts to pretend
It hurts so ******* much
Will this ever end?
It hurts when you come and trample
Through my dreaming mind
It hurts when I wake up
and can not press rewind
It hurts when I see your number
And when you text me too..
I think it hurts so much..
Because my heart is still with you
You never gave it back
And now it hurts to live..
A man now less than loving
With so very much to give
It hurts to see you laughing
And it hurts to fake the role
And pride will not allow myself
To ever be made whole
It hurts so ******* much..
I'm losing my ******* mind
On **** here she comes
Hey yeah I'm doing fine

Here I lay in emotional waste
Left with null but sence to taste
All the decay inside this place
And fast enough I cannot haste..

A light illumination, mirage on the wall
My mind is playing tricks, and I cant fight them all
Out from under all, this turmoil I must crawl
For I have not the strength, to be victor of this brawl

You rain your words upon me, I am shelterless
The wounds you have caused me.. I will not forget
But whats this inside the darkness? Still yet drawing breath..
Its the only thing you left me
Eternal nothingness.

The rain pours heavily
Drowning out all sound
Except your heartbeat
In my memories.

The days pass me by
I wonder where you are

I look out my bedroom window
Do you see the same stars?

Its raining here in Naples
The sky is sickly grey

Is it sunny in Vermont?
Enough to chase your thoughts away?

Do you ever think of me?
The love we used to share?

Do you find yourself crying..
When you realize Im not there?

Does the world seem to stop
When i cross your mind?

Inside are you wilting?
While on the outside your just fine?

Does the night come on so cold..
You remember the heat from me?

Does the morning come to soon..
And you realize we were just a dream?

I will forever love you
Even though we have seen our last

I will forever love you
Even though you've taken a separate path

Days grow longer, nights unbearable
Alone in the dark
I've never felt so terrible

Constant thumping, pounding heart
Memories take life
And tear me apart

Broken will, absent reason
My kingdom crumbles
Unspeakable treason

Silently whispered, unconscious invasion
Branded from refuge
No hope of salvation

Burning sunrise, frostbitten soul
Stitched together
But far from whole

Lethargic emotion, stillborn spark
Yet it still burns
Alone in the dark

When I say your name
Tears flood my eyes
Dragging me back down
To that darkened place inside
When I hear your voice
My own seems to falter
Forced to relive memories
I can never alter
When I see your picture
Denial streams through my veins
And I come to an overdose
On all that still remains
When I close my eyes
I pray not to dream of you
I just want to sleep
One night right straight through
But I always see your smile
I always hear your laugh
I always wake up next to..
Your tear soaked photograph.

Don't tell me you don't like it
When I pull your hair
Don't tell me you don't like it
When I act like I don't care
Your vacant stare shows the truth
You disguise behind your eyes
The ecstacy I give to you
As shallow as your lies.

The things I would trade
To go back to the day
Before darkening storm
Took my happiness away

Last night I was weak
I locked myself away
Confined and secluded

Memories from my past
Began bombarding me
I could not take
Being drug back there

I grabbed a bottle
Started taking shots
Alone in the dark
Angry and hysterical

Not even God
Can save me
From the abuse
I always endure

A flower so beautiful
Yet so brittle
A rare possibility.
Growing spontaneously
In a garden of engenuity
Where everything is
So complex..
Each new bloom
Is more diverse
Than next
The garden now seen..
From a place
Where everything
Is exaclty the same..
Where the rose
Is suspected
As just a flower
With the ability
Of love
No sense of devour
And as ignorant
As those
As the "ability"
To judge..
Love
As a meaningless..
Possibility
Than those who see..
Only a garden of snakes..
Will never dine
In the peasants inn
Of heritage and courage
Because he who sees
Only a flower
As a plant..
Is as ignorant as..
Those self dignified
To sign loans and
Grants..
What if the flower
Is more than we see
What if trapped inside
The mind of a person..
Not recognized
By society..
The flower is more
Than we can identify...
Just don't forget..
Your opinion..
Can brittlize..
The fragments of
What's left of it..
Because in the end...
Even love
Calls quits

So many words to you
I have left to say
So many nights to god
I lay awake and pray
I just want to tell you
How broken down Inside
The pieces of me struggle
fitting together in my mind
The shadow I cast grows
consuming all and me
I try to run but can't escape
This apathy..anger and agony
I toss and turn at night
Reaching for you in my bed
Which has grown so large lately
I am simply entombed in dread
They say time is the cure
be patient you will see
But I fear there is no time
this pain will never leave
The moon illuminates
the pictures on the wall
Inside my conscience speaks
and answers to your call..
Have I lost my mind?
Please god let me forget
She's somewhere laughing loving..
and I am burried in regret
There are so many questions
Seeking refuge in my head..
Look at the clock.. 4am..
Guess I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Follow me, I'll show you
I'll walk along the roads with you
And stones they cast at you
Are cast at me too.

Branded outcast, forbidden
There is no place we haven't hidden
Left smitten, in the sake
I **** in.

Your brand name, your fire
Promises to take me higher
Leave me weeping in regret
Your such a clever liar

You know me, you showed me
Should of listened when they told me
Cheap bargin and I sold me
Now only sin consoles me.

I guess it wasnt meant to happen
I should have known all along..
What my ears thought was harmony..
Was two very different songs..

I was lost inside the harmony
By the spell in tune you sing..
I was soaring through the heavens..
When you ripped off my wings.

They say actions speak louder than words
Yet words cause emotional injuries
That can never be cured.
You can get roughed up..
But that makes you tough..
If actions do speak louder than words..
Why do words hurt so much..

She took my breath away
Then she stole me heart
She told me I was everything
Then she tore me apart

Spent days months and years
Putting myself back together
But there's fissures in my confidence
Wounds that last forever

Told me so many lies
I am hidden from the truth
A storm is brewing violently
And I have a leaky roof..

Still again I find myself
Staring deep into her eyes
Still a pawn under her spell
Alive again inside.

I hate how much I think about you
The way my world fades to black
Where happiness is but a memory
and reality is simply aftermath

You probably think me crazy
For this pathetic lingering on
I know the fire has died because..
All its warmth is gone.

I know there is no way
To reignite the hearth
But I stare into it anyway
Remembering every word

The ones you chose to say
That made me feel vivid and alive
The ones you chose to say
and leave butterflies inside

The ones you chose to say..
To see tears swell my eyes
The very words you chose
To tell me goodbye.

I am..
Broken and scattered
Fragile and shattered
Dressed but tattered
Beaten And battered

Lost and ignored
Put on the shelf.. Stored
Forgotten and ignored
But another to your hoard

Stripped and undignified
Told only lonely lies
A mask to hide behind
Nobody to idolize

Strong but weak
Stricken can't speak
Emotions that leak
I am but a meek..

Shell of what I used to be
I am my own worst enemy
Prisoner of but apathy..
I am simply
Nothing.

I picked a dozen roses
And sent them all to you..
Some are different colors..
With a symbolic point of view..
2 red roses for your smile..
That drives me insane..
2 pink roses for your kisses
That leave a lipstick stain..
2 blue roses for your eyes
Pools of natures perfection
2 yellow roses for your beauty
My only selection
2 purple roses for your body
Of which I can't ignore..
2 black roses for leaving me..
Dying on the floor
please accept these flowers
And know I love you so..
Each one a fragment of myself..
And all that you let go.

Roses are wilting
Violettes are rotten
This garden is my mirror
Formenting forgotten

Let me ask you this, just tell me if im close, you said you want forever.. But time is an overdose?
You want someone to come, someone unlike the rest, you want a man to make you feel.. More than second best?
You want that guy to shower you, with affection, laughs, and memories.. You want to wake up knowing, this is where your meant to be?
You want somebody to be there, so your never alone, you want a steady partner, and together make a home?
You want a man to come, and help you bare your burdens, you say youve been hurt.. And swear to never hurt him..
You want to be romanced, hold hands and go for walks, somebody you can cuddle, a safe place for you to talk?
You want a decient lover, sweat and ecstasy in the dark.. Somebody to help you fulfill the fantasies in your heart.
Above all else though, and im guesing this is the case, you want somebody wwho wont run.. When trouble shows its face.
That person to stand beside you, as all around you crumbles, and even when the damage is done, you want that one man that wont stumble..
And as you go through life together living dreams and laughin'
Yeah well fix your make up girl cuz that disney **** never happens.

You rain your words upon me
I am shelterless
Lightening streaks my wounded sky
How could I forget

You stab me with your actions
Fracturing my brittle bones
Glass house false security
Cracking from your stones

You weave your clever magic
God knows I'm a fool..
You use me when you need me
I'm quite a handy tool

You hail your insults on me
But I'm too stubborn to see
My obsession of your love
Has polluted me

I saw your smile and I was lost
Your beauty puzzled me
My hopelessness tossed
It took some time
But soon we were falling
Inside of me
Emotions we're brawling
So fast and so real
I never knew you were frowning
But when we hit loves ocean
You left me there, drowning.

Look at you my guilty pleasure
Im just trying to hold it together
Because you said forever
Left me blowing in the wind like a feather
Once my hearts defender
Baby don't your remember
There was a time you wouldn't surrender
My loves nerve center
****** inventor
But I cant forgive you, your no first offender.

Here we lay our
emotions to rest
Lust and love no longer
linger on our breath
The way the moon
Would illuminate
Your face
The apple lip balm
I can still taste
I reach out
To press rewind
And bring us back
To happier times
Under the old willow tree
Lost in those fields
Where I'd bring you
Flowers
And you'd ask me..
Am I really real
But now time has
Left us behind
You have went your way
I'm still going mine
They say time
Cures all wounds
But its many moons
And I still feel so blue
I think about you
And what we used to share
I'm just tired of rolling over
And not finding you there.

And would even matter anyway?
Does it matter what words I say?
Can nothing make you stay?

I see now you have a good life
I wonder what that feels like
You know I always make a mess of mine

Still I see you walking with him
Thats when all the pain is real again
I miss my lover.. My best friend

The love we shared has vanished
Might have even left the planet
You look so happy.. I cant stand it..

When's it my turn for a happy end?
In this endless game of pretend..
I miss my lover.. I miss my friend..

He who fishes
In his neighbors well
Only catches *****.

There is no bottom of my heart
Tis deeper than any sea
There is no shallow area
No risk of judgement
Trust me I have explored
My limits set my standards
I have been adrift so long
I forgot what land looks like
If you ever search for me..
Close your eyes and peer
Into my heart youll find me
Lost in an ocean..
Floating on a door
And thats just fine with me
At least while im adrift
I can feel the love
I so desperately want to give
To that special somebody
Before it dries up..
And I drown
Face down
In the last cup of love..
I have to offer.

As time ticks by they say
It will mend my wounds
Well if this is true
Why do I still feel so blue?

It seems time has somehow
Simply forgotten me
Left me festering
An embodiment of misery

I watch the clock tick by
In my lonliness
Drenched in stress
Hallowed out from nothingness

Close my eyes for a second
Yet it feels like a lifetime
Aging in my broken mind
A stain on the underwear of life

I just wish god would grant
Me an act of mercy
And just finish me
Because life is
Slowly killing me.

Tonight when I lay down to sleep
I hope the reaper comes for me
Hell for sure is where I'll be
So physically strong..
But religiously weak.

I enjoy watching the sunrise,
on the porch in my chair,
morning coffee.. first cigarette
I could be dying.. I still wouldn't care

Breathing life into vision
the colors erupt as the light invades
the warmth spreads to me
a splash of hope.. a splendid taste.

The way the dew glimmers
while trees dance in the wind
the birds sing their song
almost absolving my sins.

Experiences like this keep me grateful
for the hardship I endure.
I don't take medicine for my depression..
a dose of reality is the cure.

The sun tires almost instantly
I see by the pink streaked sky.
I extinguish my last cigarette..
as the light says its goodbye.