Only I can fix me
But I have given up
Life is ******* everyone
But I have had enough.

Shadow on the wall tell me can you feel?
am I your imagination do you know Im real?
are we in other worlds connected at the spine?
Can you see me as me or am I just wasting time?
do you share my heart? or maybe my thoughts?
Are you reason for the darkness that my life has brought?
Do you crack a smirk when the sun comes out to play?
Maybe use some trickery cuz I wouldn't know.anyway?
does the way you lay down behind me show what my life is worth?
a silhouette on the ground in all the bugs and dirt?
when I go to sleep do you say a prayer?
do you show praise in demons tounge I can hear from over there?
do you walk around my room playing cynical games?
poking proding me in my sleep dig into my brain?
If you are just inanimate.. have nothing to do with me..
Then tell me why I look into the mirror and its your face I see..

Found out your pregnant again
I hope your well and happy
Hopefully not with another
Dead beat baby daddy.

Looking down on me
As I go under
This murky water preventing you
From reaching out to me..
Just watch me drown
I understand
I wouldn't want to
Get my dress wet either.

In the mirror
What do I see?
Just a monster
Staring back at me

It has my face
It has my eyes
Only I see
What hides inside

Just a monster

Every time I close my eyes
Memories like to **** me
My slumber is so dark
Nothing can awake me

Shadows fill the void..
A deep and empty well
And somewhere at the bottom
Rolling is Adele.

Look inside
it's quite a view
A radiant light
Emits from you

Take a breath
Hold me close to you
I can always find
The light in you

I used to think
I was on top of the world
But it turns out
The view is similar
From the bottom of
A bottle.

Why does this always happen?
I am trapped in a loop
I can hear her laughin'

The world has lost its colorful hew
Returned to sender
Nothing new..

People say, its time to move on
But I feel so lost
I feel so wronged

I wait, forever for her to call
In this giant bed
I feel so small

Why does this always happen?
Trapped in this loop
I hear her laughin'

She will hold my hand in public
Fingers laced, Smile placed
She never backs away
When I offer her my face,

When I look into her eyes
My demons suffocate
Deep pools of baby blue
Her entire being radiates

Every time we touch
Feels like I can get no higher
She's more than a flawless face
For she is a soul on fire.


*I stole the last line from a meme

I can't close my eyes
Without you stalking me
In my mind

Don't feel much like talking
Or hanging out at night
Don't feel much like laughing
Pretending everything's alright
Don't feel much like doing anything
But lay awake and wonder why
I work my hands to the bone
And just want to ******* die.

Hello, I am me
I love full tilt
Full time
Immensely

You blew into my life
Like a wild fire
Flames soring ever higher
Untamable

I reached through the flames
And I will never forget
Your name
Thank you

My world was cold and dark
Many nights alone
Feeling lost
You thawed my world

Life began to blossom
Feelings I thought extinct
Hit me like a plague
That I would burden always..

It is too soon
For my mouth to speak
The words I wish to..
Desperately..

Not Because I need you
To fix me..
Simply because...
You make me a better

Me..

I love you.

I will never walk away from you
I'd stand in front of death for you
And if you ever doubt my heart is true
I'll cut it out
To show it to you.

Open my eyes,
No more being blind
Time to accept my hand
Its taken enough time.

Open my ears
No more being deaf
No more fighting a pointless war
Ill leave with a few medals
pinned upon my chest

Time to say the words
I never thought Id say
So long, farewell, goodbye
Like you'd care anyway..

I feel in my heart
Im a good man, I deserve better
I hope you think of me
And leave tears on my letters

I've never said a mean word to you
So I won't start it at the end.
Just remember you lost a faithful lover
Remember you lost a loyal friend.

One day your gonna miss me
and all my corny rhymes
But by then ill be healed
And had found a woman worth my time.

I can not remember
How it used to be
When I would wake up
And listen to you breathe
I can not remember
The taste of your kiss
Nor can I see clearly
Your rose ted lipstick
I can not remember
How it feels to be alive
I've been so consumed by hate
And the mask I hide behind
I can not remember
The touch of your skin
I can not remember
What it feels like to win
In fact all I can remember
Is how much it hurt
When I feel on my face
In all the **** and dirt
All I can remember
Is the taste of betrayal
And I can not remember
How I used to prevail.
I wish I could remember
At least one memory
Where I was not depressed
Or in a prison of misery.

I've made so many mistakes
So much ground to cover
Trying to right my wrongs
Only to uncover another

They say you get what you give
And I know that to be true
Because I'm fighting to repair
I'm struggling to undo

All the years of negativity
Alcoholism and drugs
Making headway out of this pit
That I have quickly dug

Change comes with time
This path of correction I must follow
So much I must repair
For a better tomorrow

A little at a time, I can finally see the sun
Blinded by the brightness, from which I've always run

To stop acting like a boy
To finally become a man
And stop wallowing in my pity
To make my final stand

Against this heavy darkness
I have allowed to take control
I am ready to be better
I will not be swallowed whole.

One day I will look back
On the mess that I have made
The war to right my wrongs
To be worthy of being saved.

Can no longer stay awake
But sleep is inevitable
There you are again
God please..
Do not ever want to..
Close my eyes again.

I lay awake, I close my eyes
I try to count those ******' sheep
I toss and turn I can not sleep
All I am.. Anxiety

Paralysis comes, I am encumbered
Forced to see you in between
This reality and the land of dreams
I cannot run I cannot scream

You play these stupid ******* games
And run away the second it rains
Leaving me alone to drown in pain
And every girl is the ******* same.

Another sun sets
I watch the night creep  
The color is ****** from the world
Vanishing before my very eyes
I crumble to my knees and beg
I wish only to be
Like the trees and houses
That vanish within
The tidal wave of darkness.

This reflection in the mirror
Is it really me?
I touch my face, he touches his face
Surely this can't be.

I remember thinking of the future
Of the man I would become
Time flew by so fast it seems
I've completely come undone.

I stare into his eyes
His dark and angry eyes..
Deep inside.. Goosebumps arise
Every tortured, desperate cry..

The past floods me so vividly
Takes the breath right out of me
Denial rears, choke back the tears
The hate pours right out of me.

In a fit of rage I strike him
I can't take this anymore
Covered in blood and void of love
He falls in pieces on the floor

I pull shards from my hands
And the rage it slowly fades
He must be me after all
His eyes share my mistakes.