Home on my own
Nobody's here,
but I'm never alone
I'm entertaining my fears.
Running wild in my mind
they keep taunting my face
I can never escape
Where is my peace?

I know you,
though you don't always like
the you I see.
Uncertainty,
vulnerability
that you don't want to see,
or be seen
rises in moments of trust
but I hope it's ok
that I know...

I give you love
I give you time
I give you pleasure
I give you my whole heart
but you don't seem to notice,
so now I f*in' give...

What kind of woman do you get
by standing back
and pursuing none?
Only the desperate ones...

I have been patient
not always
but mostly...
for a very long time.

Occasional outbursts
of NOOO...please!?!
have startled
and driven you
to hide again

Hurt humanity gone awry,
I hold my tongue again
while you walk away...

It's all for naught...I am pretty sure.

Yet I pull at threads

and grasp at shadows

to believe,

to see what I want to see.

Trying in desperation to attach my soul to  yours,

I toss my heart in your direction,

and watch as it free-falls through space...

You smile and wink

and go on your way,

just as it falls

with a thud

that shudders through my being,

before I pick it up,

cobble it back together

and by some means try to trust you again

In my heart,
come joy or heartache
(even that which is caused by you).
Love that should last a lifetime...
until the multiplication of pain
tears the heart bit by bit
and the only course of action
seems to be to extricate you
by any means
from my heart,
in order to preserve it.
And so love dies...
to an uneasy stand-off.