I've been waiting-
For the life that's draining
from these veins-
To come alive and revive me again.

These cuts are a violating-
obsessive compulsive disorder
I cannot, refrain.

As I stare down at the blackness
of my blood.
I wonder if this is all-
that I am made up of.

It's as though little streams
of water are running down my
legs.
The scent of copper, and the warmth
of the sun.

I can feel it on my skin.

Enveloping me

Crawling through my blood

Reviving me again.
© 2015 Christina Jackson

They call it Devils Cut
90 proof, a bottle full
of liquid luck.

I drown myself-
in the bottle of
delicious lustful
drunkenness

Waiting for you
to come home to me.

But-

I will never have you-
As I want you.
Your love runs deep-
deep into my bones.

There will always be
remnants of you, crawling
through my skin.

The gentle breeze of a
summers wind-
Reminds me of
every hanging whim.

I love you dearly
and the devil
cut my heart-
ever so cleanly.

You are no where
near, and never will be.

Always an invisible force-
waking me from my dreams.
© 2015 Christina Jackson

I know you
I know your soul

Deep down into the darkest corners
of your pain and strife-

I have searched and found,
there is magic in your eyes

The type of magic you see
gleaming from a newborn
just discovering the world
for the first time.

Ancient melodies flow through
your bones as if the universe
is speaking through you-
In cosmic foreign tongues.

Your heart speaks to mine as if
we've known each other for
millions of lifetimes.

There is a comfort in knowing that
I will always carry your heart within mine.

The connection between self and soul,
is something only spoken in fairy tales.
It is wondrous and fantastical.

The magnetic pull of the earth
is constantly bringing me back to you.
As if no other existed before, and no
other will exist after.

There is only the here and now
All we have is this moment and
this breath of life.
The air traveling through our lungs, the
blood pumping in our veins-
It is all we have.

We are all living on borrowed time
and you are timeless.
In all essence and glory
You are the reason I keep drawing
breath from these often weakened
lungs.

The pain you feel travels through
my heart and soul-
As if lightning has struck when
you run into an existential wall.

I know you
I know your soul
It lives within me
You are part of my daily breath
and it will never leave me.
© 2015 Christina Jackson

Cold and sterile
the lights are blinding
as I walk down these
empty and hallowed
hallways.

The stench of death fills
the air.
I reach for your bedside
feeling remorse and regret.
The only father I'll ever have

So frail

Don't give in

You still breathe life within
you- it's not over yet.
Don't give up on us,
more importantly don't
give up on you.

Your wife, mother, sister, daughters
and granddaughter need you.
Despite the way you've lived your
life, we still love you and always
will.

The stench of death lingers
in the sterile air.
Our life force gives you the
strength to stay alive
and is keeping you here
against your free will and pride.

Don't give up, don't give up.

As if the clogged arteries weren't
enough, your heart is still beating
I won't let it stop.

I love you and that should be enough.

© 2015 Christina Jackson

To hold you, even just for a little while
Eternity in a hour

Time is such a sweet commodity

Your warm arms around me, there's
no place I'd rather be.

Forever tangled up in you,
would be the most wonderful
dream come true.
© 2015 Christina Jackson

You will never love me, as I love you.
This universal pull on my heart is so
strong, its suffocating me.

Here, in the dead of night I shed
my wings and die a little more inside.

The pieces of me fall away, turning into
remnants lost in time.

This silence is deafening-
and I cannot breathe knowing
you don't love me as I love you.

I am colorless, suffering from
a lack of color.
My heart no longer red, but now
ash, simply black and dead.
© 2015 Christina Jackson