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The light of the day
shines through the night,
unto morning
The light always shines
through the black of night
The soul seeps into the eyes,
and finds the answers
waiting in hearts disguise
© 2013 Christina Jackson
As of lately, I've been lost in translation
in this transcended state of thought
every thought running into one another
Impeding on the clarity of my perception
Leaving me in a state of panic
Searching for something slightly out of reach
As the needle threads the weave
My mind entangles the threads into
a mass insanity of run on sentences
Leaving me nothing but breathless
Left in a state of weak existence
Wrapped within the roots of the
stem of my thoughts and they
grow into shadows of monsters
trying to break free from the dark
but they cannot reach the other side
The light, it seems much too far
to carry on. This train wreck
of distortion is slowly seeping
into my soul. Deafening the
voices at my beck and call
A tragic winding road of
memories keeps bringing me
right back to the same place
I just left and now I'm right
back where I started again
A streaming flowing river of
never-ending thoughts
Always escaping me
Just there long enough
to hold on to a string of words
that hardly make any sense
Am I dreaming or is this death?
I cannot recall ever lying down
on that bed. Resting my head
where all those demons dwell
The lump in my throat fiercely swells
and the smoke filled coughs mask my cries
Repairs the dreadfulness of my daily life
I cannot escape this restless mind
It won't let me rest, it won't power down
The switch is broken and I've lost my crown
along with all the jewels I once possessively possessed
My mind is wandering somewhere
and I haven't a clue when It's due back
© 2013 Christina Jackson
My heart turns to dust
All he left me was a picture
I can feel it when he's near
Shadows of his ghost
reflect on the wall
I turn around and he's
already lost in the crevices  of the paint
Tears roll down my face
For I've been left in this horrid place
He roams free above the skies
and the white fluffy clouds
I ask "please take me for a ride"
For all you've left me
was a picture and your pride.
© 2004 Christina Jackson
Found this a few hours ago when I was looking through my 7th grade English assignments (2004).
Written about my grandfather
This pain in my heart
continues to grow
I know, I know, I know
I can't let go
The pain of the past
continues to grow
Flashes of forgotten memories
surface once more
Everything I suppressed
has finally taken its toll
I can't live in the past
but the shadows creep up too fast
Their incredible mass
engulfs me, pulls me back
At last, I can't rid myself
of this terrifying lack
© 2013 Christina Jackson
-"Someday I'll love myself, every bit of myself, but not today, today doesn't belong to me..."

"Sweet child, everyday belongs to you, every single one of them, they're all yours.  You are to use them wisely, every one of these beautiful, dreary, sad, wonderful, and scary days...My dear naive one, you breathe the very essence of life, deeply kept safe and tucked away in the corner pockets of your soul. Everything you've ever needed in this life, has already been given to you, open your eyes, you aren't dreaming. Awaken what is true to you; open your heart, free your mind, let go of insecurities..Free the light that's been trapped for so many years, just let go, let go..."

-"But what if I'm too afraid? What if I can't achieve all of these aspirations I have? What is it you presume is holding me back?"

"Listen child, it's not about the "what ifs", you must know and understand, they don't actually exist. You've put them there, barricaded yourself in, and quite frankly, you're so lost you've forgotten the way. All these walls, all this stone, you must dismantle it, slowly, stone by stone, day by day. Be patient, and you will see, everything will fall into place, slowly but surely. Take your time, be kind to yourself."

-"You see, all this stuff I've been through, it hurts, it all still hurts. I know it's in the past now, but just how do you expect I get over all of that?"

"Someday, sometime soon, and it may have already happened, but it'll occur to you that all of this suffering you've had to endure has gotten you to the very time and place you are now. It's all for a good reason, though you may not see it so, it is true. Everyone, they're all here for a reason, all of you serve a higher purpose. However, I don't hold the knowledge of what that is. That's up to you to figure out."

-"I'm just...so..confused, and everything isn't the way I thought it would be, I'm just not happy.."

"I think you've been missing the point, happiness isn't something that can be held in the palm of your hand, it's a feeling, a beautiful and wonderful feeling. I know, not all is as it seems to be, life is very deceiving at times. Some people will trick you, break you, and just hate you. It's up to you, don't let all of those discerning people get you down, they don't matter on your path. They don't walk the same road you do, and never will. So forget about it, and move on. Don't wallow on the little things. It's not worth your time, and that, I can confidently tell you, you won't have enough of...Are you beginning to understand?"

-"I think I'm beginning to..
You don't have to leave, or come, or go.
Here with me, we'll conquer the world.
Two hearts, beating as one.
Our souls; forever young.
© 2013 Christina Jackson
I'm better at short rhymes
You draw me in, like fire on a cold night.
Comforting, warm, bright.
Your smile; gentle, loving, kind.
Wont you be mine?
© 2013 Christina Jackson
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