Chloe B: Poems

Nov 2018 · 244

Me

Chloe B Nov 2018

Me

I am who I am because of my drunken word “no” and his hands. I am who I am because they tell me I will never be good enough. I am who I am because when I watched her bleed in the hospital I told myself that this is not how I wanted to die.

Sep 2018 · 174

J-2

Chloe B Sep 2018

J-2

I miss you

Aug 2018 · 238

J-1

Chloe B Aug 2018

J-1

I was never warned about the beautiful girl I would one day meet.
I wish I knew that she would sweep my off my feet.
Her smile her eyes everything feels so right.
Whether she is my soulmate as a lover or friend.
I want her in my life forever.

Mar 2018 · 263

Open Eyes

Chloe B Mar 2018

Open Eyes

Open my eyes and I only see lies;
Open my eyes in the morning, where are the butterflies?
Open my eyes and I only see light;
Open my eyes in the night, where did the day go?

Mar 2018 · 204

Hidden

Chloe B Mar 2018

Hidden

I'm your ***** little secret
You talk to me as if I still mean something
In person you barley throw me as much as a glance
One would never know how I touched you
How you told me that I was special
How you kissed my body
One would never know how you left me alone
All by myself to walk back to my car in the dark
You wanted to be with your friends partying
You never really cared for me anyway

Feb 2018 · 246

Me Too

Chloe B Feb 2018

Me Too

I see his face every night before I go to bed.
That’s why I’m so tired. I can’t sleep because the nightmares make me toss and turn. I just want it to go away; I want my memory erased.

Jan 2018 · 199

Closure of a Closed Door

Chloe B Jan 2018

Closure of a Closed Door

When you told me it was over I still had hope
I had no idea that it was the end of something that just got started

When you told me it was over I felt my stomach cave in
I felt a sword slide through my chest

When you told me it was over I cried
I collapsed as I read a text message where you said why

It took months to recover from your electronic words
Finally today I have erased you from my life

No longer do I hold onto the words that you have said
How you loved my eyes and that we should lay together in bed

You said that you felt warm, calm and safe when you were in my arms
So why did you ever leave them and go out into the scary world

Why did you go and hurt me just because you were hurting
Yes put yourself first, but there are nicer ways to say goodbye

Cold glances from across a room of silence was all I got
But today I burned the house you build in my head I tore it to shreds

You took how good I was to you for granted
Buying you random gifts and opening the car door

Just know you might never find someone like me again
Someone who would only ever support you and hold your hand
All I wanted to ever do was hold your ******* hand
Was it that hard to believe that someone could love you

Was it hard because you are so broken
I was the glue, but you didn’t know that I was strong enough to hold you together

All I ever wanted was for you to open up
And all you ever did was shut me down and close me up

Out of order
Out of service

When I got very sick you weren’t there
When you were upset I was always there

You claim to be so caring, but it’s all in your head
You don’t know the first thing about love and what a shame I said

If you did you would have noticed the scars on my arms
And the bruises all over my body

You would have seen how my smile fades so quick
And heard all the fake laughs

All you cared about was yourself
So thank you for leaving me

I hope you get better soon
I hope you learn to treat your next girlfriend with love and respect

Oct 2017 · 211

me_1

Chloe B Oct 2017

me_1

When I lay in my bed the first thought in my head is, "I wish I was dead." Trust me you are better off without a crazy girl that has lost control of everything she knows.

My dead weight slowly sinks farther and farther down in the sea. Where the bottom is just out of reach. I can no longer see, for I have fallen blind.

Lost consciousness, nowhere to go.

Slowly spiraling out of control.

Oct 2017 · 194

her_12

Chloe B Oct 2017

her_12

and I can't stop seeing you in my dreams
every night you walk into my head
I dont know how to make you leave
so sad will be the day
but you already forgotten me
so why can't I forget you too

Sep 2017 · 183

her_#11

Chloe B Sep 2017

her_#11

She was the sun and I was the moon
I tried my best to keep up but she kept on moving
She didn't have a moment to stop and breathe
I chased after her trying to catch a glimpse of her beauty
She stumbled but always pushed forward
I followed her running around the Earth
She didn't have a moment to stop
I fell in love with her and with the chase

Aug 2017 · 233

her_#10

Chloe B Aug 2017

her_#10

when I looked at her,
she looked away.
and that was the moment,
my heart began to break.

Jul 2017 · 354

her_#9

Chloe B Jul 2017

her_#9

Tuesday April 11th 2017
00:45
I'm sorry I treat you like crap,
You don't deserve that.
Every time I take a swing,
It comes right back.
Smack,
In my back.
The same song plays,
The music starts to fade.
When it goes away,
There will be nothing in my way.
Only emptiness I can see,
I really wish it was just you and me.
In my arms,
That's where you belong.
Fingers intertwined,
Like branches and vines.
Walks on the beach,
Turns into time under the sheets.

May 2017 · 300

Unspoken Thoughts

Chloe B May 2017

Unspoken Thoughts

I went for a walk today.
I walked straight to the beach.
It was dark outside.
It was sunset and I was there to see the sun go to sleep.
I saw a familiar face.
I saw you in the distance walking across the water.
The sun set.
The sun set and all I could think about is you.
It was beautiful.
You are the only thing in my mind and I can’t seem to get you out of it.
It was nice.*
It would have been better if you were with me.

Apr 2017 · 270

she wants to leave me

Chloe B Apr 2017

she wants to leave me

Monday April 17th 2017
21:21
I play the game of life and death
Driving down dimly lit roads
Eyes closed, holding my breath
Wondering what's next
To live in a constant state of sadness
Or to die and to be put to rest

Apr 2017 · 351

her_#8

Chloe B Apr 2017

her_#8

Sunday April 9th 2017
19:19
I would give you the world,
But you still can't find the time.

Apr 2017 · 218

her_#7

Chloe B Apr 2017

her_#7

21:44
---
I would love to roll over in bed,
My face next to your head.
Staring into your beautiful eyes,
As I touch your inner thighs.
---

Apr 2017 · 200

Silence

Chloe B Apr 2017

Silence

Tuesday April 4th 2017
22:22

I could just stop talking
and
no one would even notice.

Apr 2017 · 249

tomorrow_part I

Chloe B Apr 2017

tomorrow_part I

everyday I find myself asking the same question
"am I good enough?"

everyday I answer this the same
"just give up already"

everyday I choose to live until the next
*"why am I still here?"

Apr 2017 · 209

her_#6

Chloe B Apr 2017

her_#6

Friday March 31st 2017
23:07
I wish I was kissing you,
Instead of missing you.

Mar 2017 · 211

her_#5

Chloe B Mar 2017

her_#5

Thursday March 30th 2017
22:37
If only you could see how beautiful you are in my eyes...

Mar 2017 · 299

her_#4

Chloe B Mar 2017

her_#4

Wednesday March 29th 2017
11:26
How can someone who makes me feel so full,
Be the same person to tear my heart and let me bleed.
So quickly I began,
To feel so empty.

*
again...

Mar 2017 · 232

her_#3

Chloe B Mar 2017

her_#3

Tuesday March 28th 2017
21:28
Even when the tides change,
I know my heart will feel the same.

Mar 2017 · 209

Empty_#1

Chloe B Mar 2017

Empty_#1

And even in a sea full of people,
I find that something is missing.
And even in a sea full of people,
I find myself searching for air.
Even in a sea of people,
I feel alone.
I feel empty,
Where did you go?

Mar 2017 · 239

her_#2

Chloe B Mar 2017

her_#2

Sunday March 26th 2017
01:36
Hold my glare for a minute more
Touch my lips and pull me close
Scratch my back until I bleed
Heaven wasn't made for people
like you and me

Mar 2017 · 288

her_#1

Chloe B Mar 2017

her_#1

Thursday March 22nd 2017
08:10
the beautiful smile you see
will soon be washed away
as it slowly degrades
you will start to see the pain
the hurt will scream
I do not want to lose you
as you grip to my arm
don't be alarmed
the storm will pass
the pain will not last

Dec 2015 · 317

still broken

Chloe B Dec 2015

still broken

im still broken
and you get to be whole again
i dont have friends
you were mine
i gave up everything to be with you
i gave up everyone to be with you
i just wanted to run my fingertips through your hair
but you left me
why am i still broken
why do you get to be whole

Jan 2015 · 296

______

Chloe B Jan 2015

______

I kissed the lips of a devil once
Then I kissed the lips of a saint
They told me that I was beautiful
When I heard this I felt faint
They touched my face softly
Their hands were ice cold
I told them I can't
They told me I can
So I gave in and
Then I kissed them again

Dec 2014 · 318

Words#1

Chloe B Dec 2014

Words#1

I can't get over you
It's true
Seems like the end will never end
The words left unspoken
Still haunt me
I hear your voice constantly
It rings in my ears
From your soft whisper
To your scream
Just let me be
Alone is were I can be myself
So rush out of my head
I've had enough
The pain your beauty has brought me
So just let me be

Dec 2014 · 400

Insane#1

Chloe B Dec 2014

Insane#1

I'm crazy
It's true
I always think about you

             How you hurt me
        How you loved me
            The tears, the power

The way you held me
The way I fell for you
I can see that it was a mistake

            But sometimes mistakes are good
      You were good
            You were bad

Hold me
Kiss me
Make me feel something again

Dec 2014 · 647

Stop Hiding Yourself

Chloe B Dec 2014

Stop Hiding Yourself

Wipe off your makeup
No need to hide
Put down the eyeliner
You look just fine

See that girl in the mirror
See that girl in your mirror
That's you without your mask of powder and blush
That's you without your "face" of golden dust

Look past your face
Look how beautiful your lungs are
Look how gorgeous your heart is
Look at your soul, is it clean and pure?

Now look deeper- into your heart
Your blood pumps through
Wishing that you could restart?
Stop.

Look into the future, stop dwelling in the years that passed
Look at who you will be, not the girl from the years that didn't last
Put down your force field and take off your mask
Today is today and tomorrow will be a new day

#beauty #body #mirror

Mar 2014 · 416

You

Chloe B Mar 2014

You

You make me:**
feel happy
smile
nervous
be myself
love
worry

Jan 2014 · 378

Should I

Chloe B Jan 2014

Should I

I can’t go though one more day,
saying that I’ll be okay.
Holding a blade to my skin,
wondering what if…

Jan 2014 · 4.6k

selfharm

Chloe B Jan 2014

selfharm

red wrists,
fresh blood.
God won't be able
to save everyone.

Jan 2014 · 350

Space

Chloe B Jan 2014

Space

I want to make everything disappear.
Will you help me my dear?
Fly with me and let's see,
Everything that we can be.
Be my light and show me the way,
To a place we call space.

Dec 2013 · 657

December

Chloe B Dec 2013

December

White snow, white lights, happy smiles
Brown mud, mismatched lights, sad eyes
Trees lose their colors, but not their beauty
People lose their money, but not their soul
Cold grass, warm socks
Happy people, sad people

Nov 2013 · 512

Eyes

Chloe B Nov 2013

Eyes

I look in the mirror everyday and stare at myself.
I don't like what I see.
Sad eyes and a fake smile.
This is not how I want my life to be.
Scars and bruises on my body remind me of the past.
Everyday I wait for the future, but I'm afraid I'm getting nowhere fast.

Nov 2013 · 463

Hurt Heart

Chloe B Nov 2013

Hurt Heart

my heart froze,
when i realized that I liked you.

I knew you were bad for me,
but I wanted your attention.

You told me that you liked me,
but it was a game.

I got played
and humiliated.

now I'm ripped open,
wow you really hurt me.

Nov 2013 · 449

------

Chloe B Nov 2013

------

Family? Not really.
Criticism is all they give me.
They rip at my flesh and tear at it until all you can see my bones.
I am open to new wounds.
I'm vulnerable to everyone including myself.
I rarely get complements.
And affection.. well I don't remember the last time we hugged.
It hurts to know that my relationship with my family is slowly fading away.
I know my life isn't the worst, but it isn't the best either.

Nov 2013 · 594

Sad

Chloe B Nov 2013

Sad

She
Appreciates
D**eath

Nov 2013 · 1.6k

Overdose

Chloe B Nov 2013

Overdose

Yesterday,
Well I can't remember yesterday.
I was told I overdosed on sleeping medicine.
I was sick,
in the head.
I hate that I never feel "normal".
I just don't know how,
I need help.
I know she won't care so I will just bottle it up inside,
like I always do...

Nov 2013 · 1.7k

Alcohol

Chloe B Nov 2013

Alcohol

I'm empty.
I need something to fill me up.
Alcohol sounds good, but I don't want to be what my father once was.
A drunk.
Used to be.
One who drinks like there's no tomorrow.
Addicted?
Yes.
Still addicted?
No.

Nov 2013 · 412

Once in my Life

Chloe B Nov 2013

Once in my Life

I've tried to change so many times...
Please just let me be happy for once in my life...

Nov 2013 · 323

Untitled

Chloe B Nov 2013

Untitled

No
One
Ever
Likes
Me
As
Much
As
I
Like
Them
And
That's
It

Nov 2013 · 529

Nature

Chloe B Nov 2013

Nature

I
Can't
Understand
What
The
Trees
Say
When
I
Hear
Them
Talking
To
Me

Nov 2013 · 610

Blade

Chloe B Nov 2013

Blade

It stares at my face.
I glance at it.
It tells me to pick it up.
I do as I'm told.
It tells me that I will be okay,
but only if I slide it across my skin.
I don't know if I should say yes or no so I back away,
until it comes back and haunts me the next day.

Nov 2013 · 655

Jump

Chloe B Nov 2013

Jump

I'm standing on the edge and wondering what it will feel like to hit the soft concrete.
Should I jump forward or fall backwards?
Which is the easiest way to get out of my everlasting pain?
Please dear God fly me away.
I want to live, but I'm scared.
I don't feel comfortable anymore,
I haven't been myself lately.
I'm sad and depressed.
Goodbye world if you don't see me tomorrow,
Just know another was lost to the pain of herself.

Nov 2013 · 360

Do I Sound Crazy

Chloe B Nov 2013

Do I Sound Crazy

I want you to see my pain.
To feel my pain.
To be my pain.
But I also want you to save me.

Nov 2013 · 869

November

Chloe B Nov 2013

November

Dear November,
Please remember that I'm not strong anymore.
In December,
I might not be here to see the world.
So please November,
Please help me along.
Open my eyes and show me all the fun,
Let me make new friends and perhaps a lover.
I want to be here to see the summer,
Winter can be such a ******.
Make me happy and don't snow too much,
For cleaning up is such a fuss.
Be good November.

Oct 2013 · 366

Haiku

Chloe B Oct 2013

Haiku

If I take a knife
and place it into my heart
would you even care?

Oct 2013 · 410

This Is Why We Hate Love

Chloe B Oct 2013

This Is Why We Hate Love

Bruised love.
Broken hearts.
She flies in heaven.
While he sinks in hell.
I say yes, but you say no.
This is not good, for it's very bad.
My god why do you make me so sad.