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  Jun 2021 Chelsea Rae
Existential me
I am tired.
Tired of the greed, the materialism,
the artificial realism.
Medicines to cope, false hope..opioids
the killer dope.

I am bored.
Bored with the faithless optimistics, party goers bathing in that sea of chaos...politics.

I am tired.
Tired of the hunger, and the homelessness that at times feeds glory seeking kindness.

I am bored.
Bored with the phones...the internet.
Allowing people to interact without having to connect.

I am tired.
Tired of the why and the what for,
lies of peace masking the truth of war.

I am so very tired and bored but
mostly with me.
More so with myself than with other people, politics and technology.
Sometimes I wish life would just set me free.
Thinking too much...
Chelsea Rae May 2021
A soul purge so deep

That no one could be there to hold me in it.

A fire so englufing,
that if anyone had tried they'd have just been burned.
I lose control and only love the ones I have hurt.
How does that work?

The surrounding sounds muffle out as my chest caves in.
The kind of silence you endure as your surroundings completely disappear.

All you can feel is your chest pain burning like a thousand suns about to incinerate you alive.

You fight the urge to become a rage-induced animal
Because the pain is unbearable and no one gives a ****
and even if they do they CAN'T do anything about it.

I have to swallow it all and digest it.
I have to fight to not be overcome by it all.

But what do you do when you feel like your soul
is being filleted alive, soul stripped in all directions,
Bare, and ******* raw now..

The shedded lining burnt to a crisp in tatters across the floor around me and the pieces charred flying through the air.

Another phoenix stage of rising through the ashes
But where the **** does the sky take me?

I have been here before.

There is no where to go.

I give up.

I cut off my new wings.
******* God. I don't want to go down this road anymore.
Chelsea Rae May 2021
Human words oversimplify everything that I am inside.
I wish I was telepathic hahah
Chelsea Rae May 2021
You would think nature would have been enough for us.

The way you can stand on a mountaintop and see a sea of clouds,
with tree tops barely showing their tips, like shark fins above water.

Breathtaking the way it is now,
Imagine what it must have been like for our ancestors.
No greater sights to be seen then.

You would have thought nature would have been enough

because it's definitely enough for me.
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