We sleep under the same moon

Strangers.

How can something feel so close yet be so far away?

Chasing God seems to be an impossible feat
When you've got temptation slyly waiting for you to just open the door.

How do you run to the light at the end of the tunnel
When you could stop running
And just sit in the darkness?

Sit in the silence.
Sit in the unknown.

Going nowhere.

Giving into yourself
And becoming absolutely nothing at all

So then neither God nor the demons
Can ever truly have you

Because 'You'
Don't really exist at all.

The layers of pain that exist
Are so much deeper than the very
Layers of Earth's crust
Before you get to her core.

So
Much
Pain
That comes and goes.
That never stops
But definitely slows.
Sinking into the quicksand.
Dragging me through and
under the mud.
Buried by the layers
Of it all.

I think I'm still drenched by the sins you projected onto me
And no amount of baptisms
Will release me from the sins
You threw out of your own mind
Onto me
Because they stuck like sticky **** thorns
And burrowed deep
Under the skin
Where you can't see.

Raised religious
Constantly in pain
From all of the de-thorning.

Oh how deliciously in love I am
With the you I made in my head.
I'm quite fond of daydreams.
It keeps away the dread.

Toxic fantasies.
Tantalizing delicacies.

Lies so sweet that they almost feel real.
Deceit to myself
Has always been better
Than anybody else.

I could bathe myself in the darkness.
Rubbing it into my every pore.
Licking it off my fingertips
As if it's the most decadent dark chocolate,
As it rains and drips down my
Cream colored body ever so slowly,
Like black, hot, candle wax.

I surrender.

I succumb to it.
I let the pure dark
Touch me in every place I ever tried to hide and cover.
I tried to deny my own animal
And now I'm ready to be ravished.
Teeth and nails sunk in.
Desperately clawing my soft skin,
Breaths that hardly make it in.
Agonizing for release.

I surrender.
Here for the taking.
Naked and bare.
And God I want you,
ohhh how
I want you.

Sometimes when I hear certain
Songs
I see you there,
Singing behind them.