The rolling thunder cracks and sizzles on the dry landing where i once thought i would die
My heart jumps with fear while my soul laughs hysterically in it's face
Pity all of the laughing souls and frightening hearts
the frightening souls and the laughing hysterically hearts
Neither of them knows the secrets that i aim to keep
Methodically not even mentioning such nonsense aloud for even my self to hear
No not even my mind under stands the full capacity it holds
I trick and play mockery with it
Isn't that a shame?
Well would you like to join?

heyyyy
won't u walk my wayyyy
babe lol
wazzzzup
Can i get your number?????????

Its nothing she says and she truly believes it.
All they are...
just bruises of different colors
If she was being honest she just felt numb
the first time...the second time? Sure.
But over the years she lost count and herself. She lost herself and sometimes she didn't care that much. Sometimes she did. When she did it came in waves and she would go searching only to find nothing.
Perhaps it was fate.
They would go on for a few minutes then days then hours then months and she grew drained.
So tired of searching. Only to find nothing.
She was tired of searching for something that she would never find.
It was a draining...oh so very draining search.
And then she was back to not caring. She almost always never cared.
Almost. No. Almost meant hope.
It was hard almost painful to realize when she was filled with hope.
A piece of hope fell away after every single man in her life left her chasing them with every promise.
From her father, her step father and countless of mom's boyfriends after that
only seeking one thing. Her.
Flesh. Not soul.
An when she wouldn't follow, it was stolen. Piece after piece of her. The pounding of pavement. The blood rushing from her nose, mouth, skin. Everywhere.
And the salty taste of her tears. That was the only way she knew this was real. Oh so real.

I once believed that everything was hope less
That nothing would ever work out for me... period
Things have changed now and i hope they stay that way.

Have u ever just watched the sparkle of curiosity in a childs eye?
Watched the impules inside of them jump with excitement.
Children are so innocent and pure.
If u ever think that the world is fine just the way it is ....
watch that innocent spark of fire turn into a barely breathing shell of a human.
The world that we thought could protect the children is destroying every single stread of humanity inside of them
It's ok to be unique but not too unique
It's ok to love anyone with the EXCEPTION of the same ***
Choose the white barbie doll not the black one (even though it is funny how they are the cheapest out of the two)
Its ok for you to bake but no playing outside in the dirt with the boys
You can tell me anything as long as it's not too serious.

You see?
We expect them to just be themselves but only with terms, conditons and rules
This is why we are scared to be ourselves with anyone
and anyone who sees our heart maybe just a little has already gotten too close
We throw fake smiles on like we have been doing this our whole lives.
BECAUSE WE HAVE! WHO COULD BLAME US!!!
As we grew up we learned that the mantra of being unique is a ginormaous lieeee.
The same world that told us to fly is burning and weighing down our wings.
KINDA FUNNY, RIGHT??!