What have I become?
Or rather should I say
What have you made of me?

So deep in love I became
In to a fantasy
You framed it so well
With every perfect detail
Yet, how was I suppose to know

Everything was real so real
It felt like a dream

Then it all changed,
A nightmare where you dragged me down
Agony, pain, sleepless nights
Suddenly I knew

What felt like a dream was a dream
The pain was invulnerable
The heart ached, my soul cried

I wasn't your love anymore
I wasn't your priority
I wasn't yours

You betrayed me
Shattered my heart
Lost I was, in dispair

Love me no more
Use me no more
Leave me alone

If I can't be yours
And you can't be mine
Let me not be an option
If I can't be your priority.

I wanted to write down exactly what I felt
But somehow the paper stayed empty.

And I could not have
Described it anybetter.

A bomb I am
ticking slowly
patiently waiting for the timer to go off

When the time is up
I'll splatter loss
all over your walls
with angry colors

Making you wish
You never learned my name
Regretting the time
You opened your doorway to me

Ticking I am
Waiting patiently

And when the time is up

You will learn my true
Angry vibrant colors
And at peace you will be

Will you be?

You...
Us..
We.

My life next to you was full of future
Dreams, desires, goals, believes

My present with you is full of
Agony, pain, sadness, madness

My past next to you was full of
Happiness, passion, romanticism

My present next to you is indecisive
You are person who hurts me
Plays with my feelings
Do you or do you not want me

How is it possible to feel love
Towards someone who is always
Putting me on a thread

Despite it all I love you
With all my heart, soul, guts
How can I leave you?
Then again how can I stay?

People like me will love you so hard
That you turn into stone
Don't fall in love with people like me
People like me will kiss you in every beautiful place
So that you never can go back to them
Without tasting us
Like blood in your mouth
Don't come any closer,
People like me are
Bombs!

Don't fall in love with people like me
We will forget our names
if it means learning yours

The pain is a gift
you will get lost
in the desperation
in the longing for something
that is always reaching but
never able to hold

We will never learn how to be soft
Tame me down
and conquer people like me.

There's a moment when you realize that this life ain't worth living.
There's that time when you just want to end it.
There's a place where you rather be.
There's that thought of no tomorrow.

Time to liberate.
A moment to feel free.
A place to feel safe.
A tomorrow to long for.

There's no tomorrow for me.
There's no place I fit.
There's no time.
There's no more moments.

My time is over.
My life has no tomorrow.
My moment is gone.
My place is not with the living.

Time consumed my heart.
A moment broke my heart.
A life of pain.
A place for my heart?

Do you have time for me ?
Can you share a moment ?
A full-time life of love?
A place to be, to feel safe?

Forgive me not for what I am going to do
Remember me for what I was
Don't cry for time is wasted
Make a place in your heart
Take the best moment and make it your last moment

My heart is empty
My mind clear
My life lifeless
My place lonely

Love me for who I am
Love me as for I DESERVE it
Love me because that's what you want to do
Love me love me love me

How do I show my face to the world
How can I stop being a mess
How can I live
How can I be happy

I don't remember the last time I laughed until I couldn't
I don't remember the last time I felt butterflies
I don't remember the last time I felt loved
I don't remember
I don't remember

Watch me
See me
Acknowledge me
See me

See how I slowly disappear
See how I slowly turn to dust
See how I slowly get lost
See how I slowly become one with the earth

I want to not know life
I want to know  no pain
I want to know no tears
I wan to know no love
#lifelovedepressionpainanxietynotomorrowfeelfreebefree

I find peace in the rain.

Stop
Go away
How can I make you go away

I can't stop crying
I can't stop thinking

Stop
Brain stop thinking
Brain stop overthinking

Stop
Make the voices stop
Make the visions stop

Stop
Crying
Stop
Crying

So silver shiny
So sharp at edge
So tempting
So appealing

Let it hurt
Penetrate
Oh pain
Oh sweet pain

Red
Brightly red
It burns

Voices are gone
Pain kicks in
Release of it all