I think it's maybe the way that you look at me
from 6000 miles away, through a camera lens attached
to the top of your computer,
or the way that you laugh whenever I sneeze
or say something absurd
or tell you that I love you,
or it could maybe be the way you tell me every 4am
how lucky you are to have found someone
who appreciates the arson you committed
back when you were 15,
or how you talk to your mother about me
and that one time I told you about when I
clambered over a fence, drunk and silly,
3 years ago, and sliced open my thigh.

Scattered are my thoughts
desperately searching for a hold
in this breaking reality
of life so cold

I am me and I will be
so why question things i cannot see?
Anger and pain are all I feel,
yet my face does not show it...
is this even real?

Even from myself I hide,
never shall I confide.

Forever in my heart these dry tears will linger,
for I am simply,
a hopeless thinker.

I'll always

see
your eyes closed
like chapel doors.

feel
your hands on my hips.
never thought you'd
explore heaven so early

hear
you pray
to someone who, 'sure as hell
ain't God.

Was it selfish of me? You
have no commitment to
the world but still we
frown upon you as you
marry the only thing that
gives you happiness. Was
is selfish of me? For the
love of God, at least use
a sanitary needle.

A silence with you
Is not
a silence

But a moment rich
with peace

there once was a girl
who was an artist, but
here's the twist
a razor was her paintbrush
and the canvas was her
wrist.

"Ugly" "Fat" "Worthless"
they were written
word for word
nobody thought otherwise
after-all, that girl is so
happy, that'd be
absurd.

one night it was raining
and the thoughts became
to much
she reached for her
blades and blood
poured out with just
one touch.

the next morning her
parents found her,
it was an "accident"
they would say.
because after-all,
whould'a thought that
their happy daughter
wasn't okay?

She fought endlessly for
her life, but it
was all to much to
handle
little did she know that
she'd be one of many in
this suicide
scandal.