put one more welt
onto the canvas my mother made for me
doesn't even bother me
i hope she feels it
somewhere
somehow
she deserves
to hurt as much as i do

if girls are so good at painting their faces
i wish we could turn them loose on a real canvas
see what they really mean
when they paint those black lines
every girl is a painter
she needs a real canvas
da vinci is lurking behind those sultry lashes
trapped in the eyeliner-barbed wire
a concentration camp of cover-up
clipping their own wings
willingly
with eyelash curlers -
every girl is a painter.
i wonder what faces they would paint
if they stopped focusing on their own face
i wonder if they would still have clown-smiles
and slanted eyes

i am looking for the next van gogh
but he has camouflaged himself
and is dying in front of an empty mirror.

My sadness is not the type I'd like to get noticed for - I don't need help or comfort, it is not out of my control. I just need to bury myself under blankets sometimes because the weight of the world seems to push my shoulders down over my heart and it pushes tears out of my eyes, but I can never explain how or why, and I can never tell when.
And every time i'm held me and asked, "Why? Why are you sad?" I never have an answer because
I
don't
know
why.

How is life on lsd?
Well come on this trip with me.
Drugs are bad kids, they open your mind.
They allow you to reason, and see through the lies,
Losing reality, achieving duality,
The effects might be harsh, cause abnormalities.
Seeing your world and life differently,
Flowing through your brain so quick so swiftly.
When your eyes dilate, you no longer procrastinate
You get to pick between reality and your inner state.
Seeing that the small things are what matter,
Satisfying our thirst, for knowledge over matter.
Because on drugs you might enjoy walking,
You might enjoy smelling the grass or even talking
Expressing your mind, reasoning a thought,
And not being a cynics narcissist while you internally rot.
The experience on it impairs your mind,
And may leave you always behind
Behind with love, adventure, and discovery
Instead of hate, restrictions and agony.
But drugs are bad kids don’t take my advice,
the commoner lowlifes like us will someday pay the price.
The price of thinking differently, and enjoying life,
Walk this amazing world, with no need for strife.
Drugs impair your mind kids they do,
but what happens during them only chances what’s inside of you…

Are you OK?*
I lack my own approval most days.

Why haven't you been eating?
It's a spiritual fast.

Why have you been isolating yourself?
I'm trying to formulate a plan to save the world.
Somehow.

Any thoughts of hurting yourself?
What's life without a few battle scars?

What are your triggers?"
That's a very loaded question...

ive seen the pictures and gifs of
when people go to far when
cutting.
and honestly, i get
so scared.
to think that people can just
open themselves up and
let blood pour and
spill and not have a
second thought about it
because they are just trying to
let their demons out.

but then i remind myself that
i do the same and that i
could end up on the
bathroom floor if i
dont be careful and
end this addiction
i have.