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 Feb 2014 Celeste
Morgan
When I was fourteen
And looking for Home
They told me I'd find it
Between lavender walls
And wooden floors
They said it'd smell like
Warm sugar cookies
And fresh hazelnut coffee
They said I'd cry into
The softest of pillows
And wrap my broken limbs
Around the warmest of blankets
But by the time I made it there
The walls were lined in bruises
The floors were cold and calloused
It smelled like cigarettes,
Whiskey
And cherry incense
The pillow I cried into
Would rise and fall
In an uneasy rhythm,
Sometimes breaking off
Into random shaking
And the blanket I wrapped
My broken limbs around,
Often had broken limbs
Of its own
Because
When I finally found Home
It wasn't a place at all
But a boy with bloodshot eyes
And a crooked smile
 Feb 2014 Celeste
marina
i wish i could love you
gently, but the beating in my
chest is echoing like a choir
through cathedral halls
and i don't know how to think
about you quietly

(maybe, if there is a god, he
meant for our song to be
heard by heaven)
 Feb 2014 Celeste
R
T F
 Feb 2014 Celeste
R
T F
she walked in and saw me
holding your hips
and playing with the
fabric in between my fingers.
she didn't say anything
but you could tell that she now knew
that we were a real couple.
normally, she'd make some kind of
reference or comment,
"Rachel! Stop touching her, ya nasty!"
and my hand would fall away quickly.
but, i think she understands now.

we cant be together in public.
i am a very touchy person,
and a very lovable one as well.
finally i am happy and i think
she may see that in me.
maybe that is why she hasn't said anything.

so, TF, thank you so much.
you see all, but you know that
this needs to stay secret.

after all, i am sure you do not
want what happened to you,
to happen to me.
she was always bullied for being gay when she never was.
i feel terrible that it had to happen to her, especially because nobody really understood that she just didn't date guys in her younger years.
TF, thanks for looking out for me and being one of my bestfriends.
we are many years apart, but we are so alike.
 Feb 2014 Celeste
R
what is it?
the feeling of being loved
and knowing that
they feel the same way
whether you are dressed
or not?

i was scared.
standing there
without a shirt
makes me quite nervous.
my body isn't exactly fit
whereas you look like the
most perfect ballerina.
its not a bad thing,
i just wish i would be
a bit more... flat.

i love my body,
i just have a few things that
i know i could change.
i could eat healthier,
maybe work out more.
drink some more water than
coffee. (i sure do love coffee)
and cut back a bit.

i want to feel comfortable
in my own skin.
i want to be able to
dress how i want
without the fear of the
dress sizes or
being called those terrible names
as i once was in my childhood.

i want to let you do
the things you want to me
without me feeling ashamed.

sooner or later,
ill be completely ready.
you'll have worthy lips to kiss and
a whole new world
to explore with your fingertips.
 Feb 2014 Celeste
marina
i.
no matter what your teachers
may tell you, your grades are not a
measure of how smart you are, that
has more to do with how you handle your
heart, and i have never seen anyone love
more fiercely or smart than you.  

ii.
i have let boys touch me just because
i was scared to lose them; don't let them
lay a hand on you without you asking
them to, you are worth more than that.

iii.
people will walk away, but you've known
that already.  keep your chin up so that when
they turn back one last time, they know that
you don't need them.
you don't need them.

iv.
i hope you find somebody that holds your
hands, even when you're nervous and
they start to sweat.  if they pull away,
you come find me and i swear,
i won't let go.
i just love her more than words
 Feb 2014 Celeste
brooke
if i could go back
one day and be the
person I am now, I
would choose that
day on the beach
at the end when
you told me
don't you
see that there
is still something
between us?

that hour echos
in this town where
there is no place to
echo---you are the
most resilient memory
I have.
Part 2.

I've wrote about this day so many times.
 Feb 2014 Celeste
LJ Chaplin
A good friend told me he didn't know what to write. He wanted to, but he didn't have the motive or inspiration to carry it through.
This one is for you.

When you write, don't act on the impulse purely because you want to,
You have to feel what you write,
Right down to every last gruelling piece of punctuation.
And I don't mean write as soon as you feel a connection,
You have to truly believe in what you write,
Like every single molecule in your body is screaming
At you,
Telling you to be beautiful in the words you choose.
Harness your emotions,
If you feel euphoric and happy,
Capture it,
If you are feeling angry or there is sadness inside of you,
Purge it, let it flow and then read it back and you'll see how much
You have released in a short space of time.
Don't be afraid of what you write,
Be bold,
Be fearless,
Don't be scared of what people might think
If you let them see it,
Don't shy away from any details that you might want to include,
Nobody judges a writer.
Add what you want,
It is your recipe for creativity and you are in control of the final product.

Write what you feel and feel what you write.
For Josh, another creative soul who I am thankful to know. Don't stop writing buddy.
 Feb 2014 Celeste
LJ Chaplin
I have unravelled,
Leave me be and shut the door,
I'm done with this place.
Just... I give up.
 Feb 2014 Celeste
Andrew Durst
Leave me,
Like a
     ruined book
          collecting dust.
   Abandon me,
Like a steel mill
       consumed
  by rust.

Tell me about
    Tomorrow,
As if it were
       Today.
And I'll try to find
    Acceptance,
In the things
  I cannot change.
 Feb 2014 Celeste
Andrew Durst
Path
 Feb 2014 Celeste
Andrew Durst
Every day
I get just
A little bit
               further
               down
this path
I'm walking

And I'm
beginning to
     feel
as if,
nothing will
ever.

Stop me.
I used this for a photo edit.
If you'd like to view the photo,
It's on my instagram.
@adurst4
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