their love
was like a lazy sunday
easy-going and free
until one day
she was unsure
if the man named bill
who asked for her hand
was the one she truly loved
but she tucked that thought away
and called him "lovey"
in an attempt to feel the same
the same way  he always had
but fifty years later
she imagines all the adventures she missed
by not loving the man
to whom she said yes

her name was Alice
(or so they say)
she fell down the rabbit hole
(one random day)
and met some peculiar creatures
(whether they were real or not)
she claims they existed
(not only in her head)
but no one ever saw them
because Alice was dead
the fall sent her whirling
into an imaginary world
she met tweedle dee and tweedle dum,
(who she says we're loads of fun)
a rabbit who was constantly late,
(who no one seemed to really hate)
and a mat hatter
(who seemed to make it all better)
and took her on glorious adventures
it all sounds quite wonderful
but Alice was mad you see
she claimed that
"all the best people are"
but no sane person believed her.
Alice was dead in the head
and lost to the world.
my name is Alice
and when I fell down that rabbit hole
all time stopped
I fell in love with adventure
and learned how to have fun
it's okay that no one believes me
I know it was real
and one day
I won't have to say goodbye
to the wonderful land they call wonderland

i wonder about the clouds
and if they kiss the sky
or each other.
i wonder if the grass
appreciates the wind blowing through it
and if the leaves rustle on purpose.
i wonder if the walls actually listen
and keep the secrets they've overheard
just between each other.
i wonder if mirrors see people
as ugly as we see ourselves
or if they're just trying to figure out
how to convince us that we're beautiful.
i wonder if the stars stare at people
and admire their shine.
i wonder if the shore is really in love with the sea
and just waits for it's kiss to come back.
but most of all
i wonder how people
can say "i love you"
but seem to loose the meaning of that four letter word
and fall out so quickly

there once was a boy
with black hair
and blue eyes
he wrote about things..
things no one had seen
like eternal sleep
and imaginary dreams.
he lived in a world
where fun was non-existent
and colors
were quite distant.
the girls read his poems
and they laughed at them
because he wrote as if
they were his memories
but no one
had experienced eternal sleep
because death
had never happened
they all lived forever.

there once was a man
with black hair
and grey eyes
he wrote about things
things that people began to fear
like eternal sleep
and being cut ear to ear.
and being cut ear to ear.
he lived in a world
that was painted black
because colors
had no impact
on the town
that fell apart
by the boy
who wrote about his memories
who made eternal sleep
and killed the ones
who wanted to die
they no longer lived forever
and the boy named death
was just doing them a favor.

my problem is that
when i look into your eyes
i see the ocean
and the sky mashed into a beautiful masterpiece
i try to notice your pupils
to see how they dilate
but i can’t help but wonder all the things those pupils have dilated for.
when you smile
my world comes crashing in
because your smile has the same effect as when you stare at the sun for too long
(blinded but you can’t look away)

so my problem is that
when i stare at your hands
i think of all the blood flowing through your veins
and all the possible reasons
why your veins protrude so much in your arms
and i can’t quite figure out if it’s because your heart can’t decide
how fast or slow it wants to beat
or if it’s because you have gardens growing in your organs
and you just don’t know it yet

my problem is that
i see the world inside of you
and i think when you leave
i’ll end up seeing you inside the world
the ocean and the sky will be your eyes
and all the memories of me looking into them
and the night time
will be me hoping you’re somehow looking back
(thinking about me)
when you’re gone
i’ll stare at the sun
in hopes of feeling like i do when you smile at me

my problem is that
you’re leaving
and i don’t think anyone else will have organs covered in all the possible things a person can have in their garden
because once your gone
every garden will remind me of you
every sky
every ocean
every star
every sun
will remind me of just how much i love you
and how hard it will be to live without you




t.t (10:42 p.m)