im shaking,
im anxious,
i need it right now,
that feeling,
that rush,
that knowing of how,
although im still cautious,
i prepare it with haste,
the fire, the inhale,
that feeling, that taste,
it hits me, i hate it,
i love it, its mine,
im faded, you see me,
im ****** up,
you're fine.

Duck,
He twirled my hair between his fingers
Ran his hand down my spine
Whatever
Duck,
He kissed my thighs
Followed my edges
Stopped at my neck
And sort of rested
Whatever
Duck,
He pulled on my hips
And bit my lips
Whatever
Goose!
He tucked me in with tears in my eyes
Sat at the foot of my bed and listened to me cry
He drove my car for a year or so
Left stupid drawings on my dresser
Drug me to all of his shows
And rested his chin upon my forehead when the night was over
Eventually the tables turn
If you've ever played the game
You chase and chase
But if you fail to catch
He sits where you once were
And you become the one he runs and reaches for
I'm still waiting

Close your eyes. Darkness. Good
Look into the darkness, look into the deep.
Peel back the layers, coast onward, don't sleep
Faster. Faster.
Feel the days go past -- the minutes, the seconds.
Feel the bliss of the dark rushing past
Slowing. Slowing.
Listen to the nothing, so loud and profound
Listen to the heart, where all is found
Slower. Slower.
In the pitch blackness, your quest grows longer
And as you look around in nothingness
You watch as the darkness fades to white.
Slower. Slower.
Over.

Curiosity grows.

The darkness protects you and the light blinds
From seeing nothing in the dark
To seeing nothing in the light
Blind is blind in the paradox of life

Frantically blink. Just look around.
Take in the view and make a quiet sound
You hear a small gasp, but don't see the culprit
While you are a victim, inexplicably confused
-- wonderfully amazed.
You see a new world, new colors and shapes
Vibrant and new, the world seems a fake

Look at the day, what do you see?
What world exists within your mind?
Describe to me this simple experience
Describe to me just what you see

Beyond your eyes,
Within your mind,
What do you see?

Imagine.

I want to sit on your shoulders
And laugh at the earth
Just like all the stars

It's hard to write poetry
When I have no motivation to do so
I'm just looking for inspiration
Somewhere
Anywhere
But I can't find it in me
So maybe you could help me
If you would talk to me
'Cause right now
I'm having a one sided conversation
And it's not going well
Because my words to me
Demotivate me
So would you please join this conversation
With me
Maybe I could be happy
But I've gotten sidetracked
With envy
And displease
Sometimes looking for the words to describe me
Sometimes trying to find me
Using sad music and poetry
Staring at the mirror
Long enough to find every flaw that bugs me
Getting in to arguments just to see if I can win
Then the begging comes in
'Cause I still want them to be my friend
I'm sorry but it hurt me
Every conversation you cut me off in
But don't worry I'm used to it
That happens to me with friend or not friend
But I know you care about me
You do right?
Did these words come out right?
Did it somehow turn into an apology?
Because I am sorry
But for what?
Maybe for always being wrong
Because someone once said that I always am
I'm wrong
It's true that I am
So here's the poem I tried so hard to write
And I sincerely apologize for it
Because these words might eat you
Like they ate at me  
Gripping unto something
Maybe the guilt inside me
And as it comes flowing out it's making me shaky
Hitting my nerves
On the way to escape me
Because even it wishes to leave me
So I'll beg once more
Please will you save me

Blink and a star is on its way to sleep,
I'm standing so close to Jupiter,
I can feel its winds sweep me off my feet,
I'm an astronaut without a name,
I'm an astronaut without a name.

Consider this,
I'm away on a cruise to Saturn's ring tonight.
Consider this,
The Sun's so far, it's so cold, I can't feel the light,
You penetrate my gravity armour,
You strike me with your black hole armada.

Neptune looks so lonely at night,
She longs for Venus but she's so far away,
Four hours at the speed of light,
But she's bound by the chains of gravity,
She's bound by the chain's of gravity.

Consider this,
I'm a million asteroids left alone in the emptiness,
Consider this,
I reach out for the blue but I burn in the atmosphere,
Your skies have set me on fire,
Burning in the flames of your desire.

The birth of a star painted in a supernova,
The glowing halo of a mothership,
Is all that was left over.
They reach out for the sun,
They reach out for the sun.

Consider this,
They don't have ******* eyes like Mother told us.
Consider this,
They look like him and her we spoke to on the bus.
But you flew your guns at them,
You rushed your bombs at them.


It was on the news that she brought down the aliens,
They looked like me and you but she went after them,
But nobody could be found on the ship that brought them here,
The red lights on Mars they felt was safer than this fear,
And yet she found one of them,
The one who saved them all,
The one who chose to stay,
And take the fall.
The unnamed astronaut.
The unnamed astronaut.