hello again depression, I knew you would be back.
When I hit another low
even though I am alone
I feel myself surrounded,
by the chattering crowd below.
Drown out by my heart beat
that suffocates my mind
I breathe through the contractions
and casually check the time
I've got nothing planned today
but to get my *** in line

i want to be an artist
but only by my own hand and heart
because I have finally decided
that I am the only voice in my head that matters!
No amount of pity comparison
from some unwanted third party
will give me justice
I want everyone
whose ever told me that my work is
"better than anything they could've done",
to stick their half-assed compliment
right back where it came,
from the depths of their pitiful ego.
As if their low self esteem would get me anywhere
when sadly it doesn't, actually,
I feel like my art isn't worth **** when told that!
It leaves me feeling unsatisfied, like the feeling you get
when your'e awarded the participation medal..
I wan to scream at the people who think they can give
criticism in envy
I want them to shred my canvas to its very sketch
I want them to throw it off the roof
in a fit of anger and disgust.
I want them to set it a blaze in ridicule.
I want someone to snap it over their knee
and challenge my ideals.
But no, instead I will receive a measly
"well at least it's better than I could've done"

Lately, I've been feeling very afraid
of my friends and family
and those who think less of me.
I confide in some, but not all
I don't think tonight was a good call..
When I hit my head and saw clearly for once
I see the thoughts that you want to hide

Who do you doubt
when your trust has been ****** back at you
with the lies spread out on the table in front of you
whose to blame when the knot is just too much
to untangle
when the petty **** becomes ammo
Who would've thought that
standing up to my doubts
would mean standing alone
in the eyes of the bitter sweet truth
I wish I was free of what you've done to me

OoooOO Alexa
You don't like warm fruit, even if I cook it nice
If the suns your natural enemy, you'll forever be more pale than me
You don't like that I snore in my sleep, BUT I can't help it.
You don't get scared by movies, even when I'm ******* myself..
AND! you can drink me under the, taable, butchu'll be the one whose sawwry.  
You can't think about the end of space, it's a question you can't seem to face?
AND! we don't know what will happen, when we all meet our death.
It's an inevitable fact of life, just waiting to be met.
But I promise to stand next to you, till that faithful day occurs.
Till then lets keep dancing and making up funny words.