I don’t know how to say it, but I love you with my heart
I don’t know how to show it, and its tearing me apart
I know I love you and I know it’s true, I know that the person that I want is you
I have demons inside that are waging constant war, like the persistent bitter cold that attack a cabin door
I have been truly hurt and it’s something that I hide, a shameful ***** demon that I cover up with pride
I want to let you in and I want to love your soul, but the demon like the cabin is coveted in cold
He rears his head and says the meanest things, I want to try and fly away but the fire clipped my wings
I feel like a monster and I regret the things I say, ill do or make or show anything to try and make you stay
I try and try to fight with him and one day I might win, and maybe when the demon goes I can finally let you in
He won’t say mean things or bark and shout, he won’t be an ******* when he comes out
He won’t put you down or make you cry, I can let you in and ill **** well try
But once you’re in my damaged soul I’m scared that you will see, that the demon I had fought so long……….
that demon he was me.......
So im in a relationship, but the demons i have from old scars keep coming out and i struggle to trust this woman. Even though she is literally amazing in every way! I feel like im constantly at war with myself and its tearing me apart. Its the eve of her birthday and we cant even be together, she lives so far away. I just wish i could show her that a lot of the problems are not her fault, i just struggle with my past because all i have known in relationships is pain....