some mornings are worse than others.

some days, i wake up
my lips chapped, nose running
my eyes bloodshot and red,
i stare at the blue paint on the walls
and the blue sheets on my bed

and it's impossible
to pick my tired head off the pillow

it's weighed down from dreams about you
and nightmares
where you're so angry that you grab me by my hair and throw me out of the moving car

my head is too heavy
to get out of bed


pull the covers over me
and cry
cry


cry


         cry until it goes away


sleeping next to you used to bring me comfort; now the blankets can't even keep me warm.

This boy that you've never particularly given a second thought, suddenly engulfs your thoughts. Always friends but never anything more. Sure, he was always cute and funny but it was never the right time or he was with her or you were with him. Now both of you have grown; his long shaggy hair turned into a short, perfectly-tousled mess and you, now moved away with a few broken hearts along the way.*

Here you sit in a room full of friends, yet his hands are the only ones that yours long to be held in.
10 minutes
his arm finds it's way around your hips, in-between couch pillows and small talk.
it's all right, nobody's watching. part of you doesn't want them to. a secret shared by body language, a secret hanging in the air between the two of you.
6 minutes
excitement is building, tension in the air growing heavier with each anticipated sideways glance.
your hand slowly inches across your body, blindly stumbling onto his. finally
2 minutes
your mind is racing with impossible thoughts as your fingers intertwine, still hidden,
a secret to be carried over to the new year.
:15
your muscles tighten, stomach fluttering
:11
new beginnings and second chances, spontaneity right?
:06
his arm pulls you closer, tighter.
:04
your body is overwhelmed with shivers and anxiety
:00
the television is flashing images of couples with their lips meeting, midnight kisses.
he turns to you and thats' it. emotionally, you're a goner.
he leans forward and he hugs you. and that's it. and you're okay with that.

Ways to make love work.
You must block all the others out.
Why look elsewhere?
If you have true love standing before you.

Take the blinders off.
And recognize the truth.
Your truest lover is always before you.
Only the fools realize it too late.

So , don't be that fool.

Wakeup in the morning and smile.
Alerting them to why?
Sleep good at night.
And smile about the blessing lying next to you.

Don't be that fool.
Crying when true love has walked out upon you.

Love is a treasure.
That we sometimes tries to measure.
When there really is no need.
When you're aware of your blessings.

The Word
Logos in the Greek
Mental faculty
Something we speak

Not a set of rules
Or a law to be broken
It is the way you think
Or the words that are spoken

Some call him Jesus
He said He is truth
What you think or speak
Well I leave that up to you

Belief in the Word
Is a choice people make
Believe you think and spoke
What is not fake

I like the word Jesus
I believe the truth
It is so easy
I speak it too

I like you.
Or at least I like who I am when I'm with you.
When I look into your eyes,
I'm on a different planet.
I've always liked you...
Even before everyone else did.
I still do...
And I don't know if its worse if you know,
Or worse if you don't.