Self care is showering 
for the first time in a week
It's remembering to eat
And pushing through my anxiety 
when the phone rings

Self care is gritty
It's ***** and rough and almost living

Learning to love myself is a dark, twisted path
full of thickets and chiggers 
and shadows trying to lure me astray

It's trying to understand
that I am worth more than my broken parts
That I can be more than a peach pit heart
with arsenic pumping through my veins

Self care is knowing no one can save me from me
I will rescue myself
I can be my own hero

Self care is broken knuckles and ****** knees
from fighting my own castle walls
It is meeting myself in a battle of will
and being aware I might not succeed

Self care is pushing on,
when all the signs scream run away,
because I've been running for too long

So, at least for now,
I'll face the danger of self care

I used to think it was strange
that we became estranged
It burned me up internally 
that we weren't friends eternally
I somehow didn't understand
that we held destruction in our hands

Leaky roofs and faulty wires
tend to cause house fires
and, sister, we burned them all
so, it's no surprise we had to fall

Our laughter was a siren's song
Banshees wailed all night long
With my lightning and your rain 
we became a sunny day's bane

I was naive to think before
the world could stand our perfect storm

Come wade through 
my blue eyes' shallow pool
Tread careful across
my heart's unsteady floorboards
Do not fall for
my laughing throat's pretty words
Bundle up against
my mind's drafty corridors

Careful now, love
Many dangers lurk here

Little girl, what happened to you?
Little girl of chocolate milk 
and dandelions

You were so free
Sure you cried easy,
but you laughed freely too

Little girl, what have I done to you?
Little girl of day dreams
and make-believe

Your heart was so big
Maybe it was bruised at times,
but it always bounced right back

Little girl, I'm so sorry
You would be so disappointed 
to see what we've become

I lost you over time,
piece by piece,
like an old lego set

Out of broken glass
and cigarettes,
we became something new

It's hard to believe I was once you
That I was ever so pure
Now I'm what we never wanted to be

Little girl, I miss you
Little girl, I need help
Little girl, please come back

I am pockmarked with battle scars
invisible to everyone but me
The world has waged a war on me
that I still don't want to fight
Armed with nothing,
prepared by no one,
I have only survived through trickery,
slight of hand,
and stubbornness
Childishly, I consistently cover my eyes,
ignoring the monsters looming in the shadows
"If I can't see Them, They can't see me"
Still, these monsters come
Resisting Them has made me weak
and They only grow stronger,
feeding off me,
leeching out all the color,
and turning my world gray
Soon, we will come to a ******
where I must fight Them head-on
I know I will lose
There is no denying that
My doom crawls ever-near
Now it's just a matter of time

Artemis
my Lady
though she belongs to none
light of the Moon
frowning down upon
the empty land
and lowered mounts
the ten pointed Star
crowns her head
and comets string her bow
Her arrow pierces
the center of my forehead
and I am Made new
made eternal
until my blood
feeds the cereus
that blooms only
at Night