everything seems calm,
until the tide comes in,
and you get trapped beneath the waves.

i see you in all the best parts of me

your smile is honey,
your eyes are sugar,
and your kisses are milk.

you make the perfect cup of tea,
now come back to bed,
and lay a little longer,
tangled between the sheets with me.

when you touched without
my permission,
you took away my
right to say 'no'

nothing in this world
could hurt more
than silently watching
the one you love,
love someone else

i don't just wanna be in love.
i wanna feel like i've found myself,
everyday for the rest of my life

when i was little
i wanted to be a ballerina,
now i just want to be able
to get up in the morning

i remember waking up in the middle of the night
to an open window with rain sprinkling in
and landing gently on my bare legs.

where did you go?

Her body was tattered and scorned,
tainted by the words of hatred,
and bruised by the ones who said they loved her.

Nobody saw past the warped exterior,
nobody peeled back her layers of armor,
hardened by the tormenters,
nobody wanted to love the girl that was damaged.

If they did peel back those layers,
if they did become rightful to her inner beauty,
they'd see an angel, an angel who has fallen.

They would see a butterfly, with vibrant wings that demanded attention,
they would see a gorgeous rose, who's petals have been frayed,
they would see her for who she really is.

They would see her as a women.
A women of many hardships.
A women strong enough to move oceans,
and fight wars.
They would see a women so strong,
not even the mightiest of blades could slice through her armor,
she was a women of gold.

c.r.k

i'm paralyzed between the fears
of being a nobody,
or letting the pressures of being
a somebody get to my head

they all sat there
asking themselves why.

why does time keep
going even though
i want it to stop?

why does the future
seem so abstract
until it hits you full on?

why are careers and
diplomas and degrees
so important in determining
who you are?

these questions without
answers whirl around
their heads,

they stop their eating,
dreaming, cleaning,
and make sure they
never get out of bed.

the questions we ask
ourselves, can't be
answered out loud,

it is only by living
our lives, that these
answers can be
found.

between the two
of us i believe
it was me who
was in the wrong.
you would shout,
and shout, and shout,
but all i would do
is listen to
your shouting
with a numbness
that scares me.
i don't if you love
me because i know
deep down you
always loved  
him more and that
was always okay,
until it wasn't.

loose lips
tinged with
alcohol,
and
questionable
morals fill the
spaces left
unoccupied
by my
ever-working
brain. shall
i fall off the
bandwagon
filled with
future scholars
and high class
aristocrats?
will i let myself
astray into the
void of heavy
masked, and
dark-clothed
mischief makers
that take up
residence in
abandoned
buildings
drinking
the bad
times away?
i can't decide
if i wanna
tighten the classy
business casual
tie around
my neck
as a noose,
or take a
walk on
the wild
side and
instead get
crushed by
the emotions
that accompany
free *** and
large alcohol
consumptions.

if choosing the path to freedom is your choice,
than freedom truly is a double-edged sword.

if you say the same word long enough in your head,
it begins to sound like a foreign language.

the same thing goes for you telling me lies.

you can say what you want,
for as long as you want,
but sooner or later i'll start to disbelieve you.

if the one you love,
makes you hate yourself,
then their not doing a good
job of loving you

i'll only have you
when she doesn't.

their eyes were the
shattered kind,
flecks of pain
and happiness
mixed together
as one. sort-of like
a paint by numbers,
yet way more
complicated with
multiple hidden points
of depth, of history,
the stories begging
against the steel
lining of their minds,                
almost like prisoners
waiting for freedom.
no stories come out though,
because if the stories,
the memories, the pain,
if it were allowed to
come out, then everything
would fall apart. the
very weak bond holding
the gates to their agony,
would burst into
small, disorientated, fragments
of years trying to forget
what happened, and all
that perished long ago
would rush furiously to
the forefront of their mind
like a riptide. all the torturous
thoughts they've worked
so hard to repress
would come back to haunt
them in the worst
of ways...

he would start
to love her again, and
she would start to drown.

i was hoping it wasn't true,
all those rumors about you.

the way you treat girls like dolls,
break their hearts,
and laugh as their tears fall.

how you touched that girl,
made her feel special,
then left her,
after you got what you wanted.

i closed my eyes and shook my head,
my heart beating way to fast,
then tumbling out of my chest,
leaving me feeling dead.

how could you?

how could you watch as she weeped,
and not feel anything.

i thought you were a good boy,
but no,
you are a very, very bad one

it wasn't meant to end up like this,
but i was sad,
and he was lonely,
and alcohol is nice
for sad and lonely people

Sometimes all the anger I have reaches it's peak and it explodes.

What I would scream to her,
You act so fake around everyone, but no matter how hard you try you'll never be true

What I would scream to him,
I love you! I love you so much it hurts!

What I would scream to them,
Nobody likes it here, so stop pretending we do!

What I would scream to the world,
Stop acting! Stop fake smiling! Stop pretending! Just please stop!

It just can't be kept in.

I'm angry at the world, and it's angry right back at me.

c.r.k.

don't get me wrong,
i'm not much of a dreamer,
but dreaming about him once
in awhile wouldn't be so bad

humans
are
afraid
of
anything
they
can't
explain

without you,
i am a flower denied of it's sun

this silence
is truly violent
and i can't
hear over
your
deaf lips
speaking
false words

it's hard to get over someone
that i see everyday

your touch is a dream
i never want to wake up from

your voice is a song
that's reached my top 40's

your laugh is a joke
that's never not funny

your eyes are an ocean
that'd i swim in forever

your lips are perfect
for 'borrowing' my cigarettes

and you are everything i want
rolled up into one being.

get up,
get ready,
go to classes,
go to work,
go home,
go to bed,
repeat.

terribly mundane;
it hurts to know i live
such an unextraordinary life

we tell lies to get the truth,
but when the truth comes out,
we wish it was lies

love is knowing the exact sound of your voice,
even after not hearing it for a while

i cannot put into words, the suffering i go through trying to get over you.

my heart drops,
literally drops down to my toes,
when you talk to her.

and i'll try with all my might to smile,
but the happy grin gets bullied by my emotions,
and turns into a deep scowl.

i encourage myself not to think about you,
but the dreams sneakily slip past my subconscious,
and i'm completely engulfed in visions of your voice,
or your touch.

it is so hard,
so painstakingly hard,
to get over you,
when every day i look up from my book in literature class,
and see you nonchalantly stroll right in,
while i try to compose the deep thumping in my chest,
you sit down right next to me,
like always,
and smile,
or laugh,
have full conversations,
and share memories,
but never with me.

i wish i could get over you,
but your so intricately wired into my brain,
that you won't be leaving anytime soon.

our bodies danced close,
like two different flames
slowly flickering
in a passionate dance
only wanting to be one.

too bad you blew the flames out
you son of *****.

let's put it this way,
am i something real to you,
or just a date outlined in hearts
on your Instagram page

how can i walk
a mile in your shoes
when they haven't
even left the
shoe-box?

you let me hold your hand,
and play with your fingers,
then you left to **** another girl,

and maybe you thought
i'd be fine with that

i liked to take the highway home when the weather was warm.

i would roll down all the windows and blast some obscure song by some nameless artist, but i liked it, it made me feel good. i would sing at the top of my lungs and brush the hair that stuck to my face back into my messy ponytail. i would smile as the last licks of the sun cast shadows on my dashboard, and blow past the exit i was supposed to get off at. i felt free on these long stretches of roads, like i could go anywhere and be anybody. nothing felt permanent on the road, nothing was waiting for me, no time was ticking by. i loved it, and i've never loved anything that much.

eventually, i would have to turn around and get off and at each stop light and left turn i felt that freedom diminish. by the time i pulled into my driveway it was gone all together. real life was waiting.

there's only so many steps
you can take
until you reach the top,
but when that's not enough,
you fall off

sometimes, the easiest
thing to destroy
is yourself

warm hands,
warm heart

even the worst villains can appear to be heroes,
all they need is naive citizens to believe their every word.

I tried so hard to stand out,

But it wasn't enough.

Our perspective's are so different,

yet we are the same.

you'll see me at the bottom of the liquor bottle,
you'll hear my voice in the last sip,
and you'll cry out for me as you stumble,
because just like alcohol,
i'll bleed in your veins for awhile