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cameran Nov 2015
he hit her again today,
and i was hoping that
i could find all the
courage in my heart,
to hit him back.
"brave face, toxic waste"
cameran Mar 2014
I'm just a
"High school *****."
cameran Sep 2014
i act like
i could
care less
around you,
when in
fact i
the most
"your quite pretty on the eyes."
cameran May 2014
i think you are like a drug.
when i'm around you there's this
overwhelming sense of calm,
but euphoria at the same time.
you make my emotions a hundred
times stronger than they usually are,
and that scares me.

what if i overdose on that feeling,
and you leave?

you'll be left fine,
while i'll be met with
and i don't know
if i can take that,
because everyone
has a breaking point.

congratulations i'm addicted.
"you're the reason it never goes away."
cameran Apr 2014
Its scary.

We wake up everyday not-knowing how it will end.

We could strike oil,
and become rich,
or find the love of our life
in an old bookstore.

We could get in a car crash and die,
or worse,
watch the one we love die.

That's just life though.

It doesn't wait for you.
"I'm sorry it happened so un-expectantly."
cameran Aug 2014
i saw you
again today,
and my heart
still fluttered.

"i can't help it."
cameran Mar 2019
it's different for a girl.
the first time I had ***, i was drunk and he didn't love me, but everyone else was doing it, so i did it too.
i don't remember everything, but i remember how quiet it was all around us and how small i felt.
he didn't kiss me at all and we didn't really look at each other and when it was over he kissed me on the forehead and left me alone to walk home.
i felt excited at first, like i was finally an adult. i expected to wake up the next morning with all the answers, and that i'd look like a different person.

i didn't look any different, and the only thing i felt, was sore.

the emptiness set in, and the exhilaration rotted into shame.
i wasn't in love, i didn't remember it that well and i knew i hadn't been ready.

although, i'll never admit that to anyone.

it's different for a girl.
cameran Jun 2017
we used to sit in my basement
and listen to the wild youth,
while smoking cigarettes
i stole from my mom
we talked about dying our hair
and moving in together after college
and ******* girls
and making breakfast
and our dreams
and you were my best friend
and now you're just a
person in a story i love to tell
for my friend.
cameran May 2014
i often find myself dreaming of a place
with colorful skies
and stars on the ground,
with thousands of flowers
littered all around.

i hope to see caterpillars dancing among the leaves,
and butterflies flying out of the trees,
as well as fairies frolicking throughout the forest,
and a group of fish in a big city chorus.

i wish to only eat sweets,
and have gumdrop seats,
along with long licorice vines,
and silly string borderlines.

maybe even a boy so beautiful
the angels cry.

he can take me swimming in the lakes,
and on pop rock mining dates.

where we'll laugh,
and we'll cry,
but not worry at all.

and inexplicably, fall in love with one another.

too bad i wake up eventually
"i'm a ditzy day dreamer, and i ******* love it."
cameran Aug 2016
he doesn't go on dates, he ***** girls and gets high.
all you are is a way to spend his saturdays.
"all i am."
cameran Mar 2014
I gave you my heart,
and you treated it like it was just another *****.

Now I'm empty,
and you could care less.
"Momma always told me to stay away from the bad boys."
cameran Jun 2014
We only have four years left of piles of homework, annoying teachers, parties that go on until the early morning, making stupid mistakes, not worrying about our futures, and falling stupidly, and whole-heartedly in love. We have four years left of growing up and them that's it, we're grown ups and all the stupid drama that happened in high school will mean nothing, and all the friends and experiences we shared will be memories. Our first lives, and first time will be thoughts in the back of our minds as we go off into the new and uncharted world of college. And all the worries there will be amplified bc it's bigger, and more important than any petty high school or middle school projects. I'm afraid to fail my future, I'm afraid to grow up, and there's only four ******* years left until we have to do that
"I really need to start deleting my messages."
cameran Jul 2014
they called you prince charming,
but i believe a real prince is noble,
and honest.

not a liar or a cheater.
"******* for making me believe in fairytales."
cameran Jul 2014
the only synonym
for love i know of
is heartbreak
"i was in love."
cameran Aug 2014
someday the rumors will be true,
and you'll be in love,
but it won't be with me.
" amour non partagé "

translation : unrequited love
cameran Dec 2016
i sit on my porch
after stumbling home
from nights of drinking
and smoking and nameless
faces all contributing to the
reckless reputation of today's
teens. it's cold, i'm cold,
everything is humming and  
buzzing and now i'm cold and
scared. my fingers are twitching
and i can feel the bubbling in
my stomach, i'm anxious to call
you because you're warm and
that's all i want right now.
you are the boy i tell about
my fascination with clouds
and my dream of being an
astronaut if i was smart enough,
and then you say i am smart enough.
i pretend not to hear it.
you are the boy who laughs
when i stumble over my
words and waits patiently
while i ramble on about what
i see while walking home.
you are the only boy i've cried
both to and about.
and while i hiccup and tell
you how sorry i am to wake
you up at one in the morning,
you just "it's fine, i was awake anyway."
we both know you weren't.
and when i hang up and
stare out at the ocean,
all the cold has melted away
and i don't feel so small anymore.
my warmth.
my own personal sun.
i've never loved anyone like you.
cameran Jun 2017
i told you i loved you
and you told me you loved her more
and i got up and knocked over
a pile of solo cups
and went into the shed
in that random backyard
and cried so hard i couldn't breathe
and you didn't leave the party
so i got wasted and high
and i pretended like you didn't exist
and left every twenty minutes
to cry in that ******* shed
and gone was the boy who would answer my calls at two in the morning,
and along went the
dreams of being an astronaut
and feeling like the sun was close enough to melt the ice settled on my skin
because you were my sun
and i got too close
and i got burned
i wish i could go back to part one
cameran Mar 2014
He plays with girls,
uses them for their bodies.

He's never been in love,
just likes to party.

She's shy and quiet,
not one for crowds.

She's good in school,
and not easily fooled.

He's good inside,
there must be light,
he's just not putting up much of a fight.

There's bad in her,
she gives in to quickly,
light 'em up, gulp it down until she looks sickly.

Who said opposites couldn't attract?
"sorry but you're hot"
cameran Oct 2014
his eyes are so blue it scares me.

and it pains me because i've looked at so many eyes in my life time and none of them have ever meant anything to me.

i never understood the term 'pretty eyes' because eyes were never pretty to me. that was until i saw his and it kills me because it shouldn't have been his eyes that changed my mind. it shouldn't have been his eyes that made me think he was beautiful. it shouldn't have been his eyes that made me love him.

"love is a complicated thing"

cameran May 2014
i just kept running until my heart was pounding against my chest like a prisoner trying to escape from his cell. i tried to take in air, but every breath shot a toe-curling ache throughout my body, then my fingers went stiff, and my posture fell slack. i kept running though, i just needed to get  to where i needed to go. if i keep running without a destination, then i'll be running forever.

i'm scared.
"i was never that athletic."
cameran Jun 2014
i wish it was me
you were desperately
trying not to get jealous over
"what'cha gonna do?"
cameran Mar 2016
i'm in love
with the idea
of you missing me
you don't
cameran Jul 2014
i could have
a million
thrown at me,
but the one boy
who's affections
i crave the most,
doesn't want me
"i don't wanna watch the fireworks alone anymore."
cameran May 2014
i spend all this time perfecting myself,
for you,
the most flawed person i know
"stop playing games, i'm not athletic."
cameran Mar 2014
I've described this feeling with big words,
and analogies,
I've tried using stories,
even tragedies,
but love cannot simply be expressed,
because love does not have a single definition.
"what does love mean to you?"
cameran May 2014
it hurts to gaze up into the sky,
and stare at all the stars,
when i know i'll never be one
"stars aren't just big ***** of fire."
cameran Sep 2015
it hurt to look at him
because sometimes
he was too beautiful,
and other times
he was too flawed.
"i keep trying to fight it."
cameran Nov 2018
one of the hardest things
i've ever had
to learn is
that you can want
someone so deeply,
and they may not
share the same feeling.
you can believe in them
like a form of religion,
you could wish for them
on every birthday candle
and every eyelash,
you could close your eyes
and imagine their voice
and how their hand
would feel in yours,
you could cry for them
or shout
or fall apart in front of them,
and still,
they wouldn't want you back.
"for you pigeon toes."
cameran Jul 2014
your heart bleeds
out words unspoken,
your eyes sealing the
statement with a question mark.

"do you love me?"
they scream.

i was going to
answer using words,
but i deem it more
appropriate to use
my lips instead.

and as our lips mold
together in sweet harmony,
and every fiber of our beings,
every sweet string of tissue
that makes up our souls,
all shout together as one.

*yes, we do love each other.
"he gave me his favorite CD, so i figured we were in love."
cameran Jul 2014
i don't know how i feel anymore.
i have too many doubts, and hopes,
and promises. an abundance of dreams
that may or may not come true, and
more than enough heartbreak that may
**** me in the end.

i am an empty body,
and a harsh mind.
"i'm at war with myself."
cameran Sep 2014
you my
dear are
injured in
the worst

broke both
legs, and
now alcohol
is your crutch
"put the bottle down."

cameran Mar 2015
they sat us down side by side,
and looked at us with sad eyes,

"we don't love each other anymore," they said,
"we can't do this to you any longer."

and when they asked me how i felt,

i shrugged and said, "finally."
"i have mommy and daddy issues."
cameran Aug 2014
it was really ******* cold outside,
and i was really ******* drunk,
i was sad too,
really ******* sad
"it always ends the same way"
cameran Apr 2014
I sling on my pearls,
and my baby doll dress.

My hair is in curls,
and my room is left a mess.

I'm off to a party in underground London.

We dance in a basement,
our very own encasement,
the place where we can be.

We prance around the room,
screaming words that don't make sense,
but still do at our expense.

We are a movement,
a revolution,
and even an era,
of kids who don't fit in.

Yet, in our own way,
we are freaks of the night,
and socialites of the day.
The Bright Young Things, or Bright Young People, was a nickname given by the press to a group of bohemian young aristocrats and socialites in 1920s London.
cameran Dec 2014
i'd like to think
the palm of your
hand caressing
the curve of my
spine, as we
danced to a
beat that wasn't
consistent in the
comfort of my
kitchen wasn't
a dream.
"p.s. it was"
cameran Jun 2014
the most painful type of love
is the unrequited kind.

then again i rather feel pain than nothing at all..
"now all I need is something to numb that pain."
cameran Mar 2014
It tastes good on my tongue,
and heavenly down my throat,
it fogs up my brain with one big swarm of smoke.

Strange visions, and rash decisions control my fate,
fruity flavored liquids, and staying up late.

I did this for you,
don't you see?

You and your bubblegum lips ruined me.  

"Just two lost souls swimming' in a fish bowl."
cameran May 2014
i would rather you torture me everyday with unkind words,
than not exist in my life at all.

either way its meaningless.
"the things we'd do for love."
cameran Aug 2014
some of the
most beautiful
started from
the ugliest
of devastations.
"seeds to flowers by the hours"
cameran May 2014
its amazing how fast a single letter can change into one word,
which would turn into a sentence,
and a sentence would create a paragraph,
that suddenly changes into a story.

they say money is everything, but really words are.
"writing is life."
cameran Jun 2014
i believe i mix-up sadness with sugar,
and bottled up feelings with fattening substances.

every mishap comes with a backlash of chocolate cake
and tons of self-loathing afterwards.

i'm not sure why this happens,
why i feel the need to drown my sorrows in tubs of ben and jerry's,
or swedish fish.

i think i like the way the empty calories fill my empty heart.
"i should start going to the gym instead."
cameran May 2014
i really hope all those subtle glances
and soft touches were real
because if not,
i don't think i can survive it again
"i'm scared of the what could've beens."
cameran Mar 2015
you told me not to cry,
so i cried harder
"love is a gimmick."

in 10w
cameran May 2015
at first you care way too much,
then you care way too little,
until eventually, you don't care at all
"i'm dead inside and it feels good."
cameran Sep 2015
i love you.

you breathe more smoke than air,
you know you're best friend's favorite color,
but not mine,
you hold onto your beer bottle
tighter than you hold on to me,
you stay out late,
you don't wash your hair,
you can't hold a job,
and you don't ******* care.

i love you anyway.
"i ******* shouldn't love you at all."
cameran Aug 2014
and he
"don't fret sunshine, the rain will pass soon."
cameran May 2014
yes i said i was done loving you,
but i would be lying if i said
that my heart doesn't jump
at the thought of you.
cameran Feb 2015
between every short pause,
there's silence for a second,
and in that silence i know
you're talking to her,
and no, everything won't be
"ever heard of suffering in silence?"
cameran Apr 2014
growing up is like standing on the edge of a building,

one wrong move and you fall.

"**** it."
cameran May 2014
if you had to choose between
your passion or that someone,
what would you favor?
"he chose passion."
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