you pull me in to your lap and kiss me
latter that day you ask me out

i wait and think but never answer

time goes on and you give me a computer
but we went down stairs you set the computer down
you pulled me close and kissed me
and it changed my world

weeks went by

one day after school we hang out
i sat in your lap as you play minecraft
and in between games we kissed many of times

the next morning i asked you out
but you needed time

a week later

at are choirs concert you gave me your phone and told me to read

what i saw killed me
you asked out my best friend/sister

i cried and cried even cried myself to sleep

it blow over but i never really did heal

you told me that those kisses meant nothing and it crushed me

you then asked out another girl

and it hurt me once more

i grow feeling for someone who hurts me over and over again

but how?

you can be some random person
and say something to make me feel bad

it wont matter to me

you can be my best friend
and say something to make me feel bad

and it would hurt me to the point i cry and give up

because you are someone i look up to
a person i care about
when your world means everything

Everyone is not perfect

But perfection comes in every way

You may not like who you are on the outside
And you change your self
To make you think you are perfect

But really yor already perfect
You perfect to person who loves you

im sick i dont fell good
i can barley talk

my wisdom teeth are coming in
have to get 2 teeth removed
might have to get a root canal
surgery is coming soon

but i put it off for 2 reason
the fact i was sick and
my choirs concert is soon

i sit through pain to help my class
put the biggest smile i can on my face
risk the chance of destroying my voice for them

so when i cry from the pain im dealing with
just realize im doing this for you

i sit there and cry for many of reasons
but you may not even know one

i have trouble in my life
with friends and family

i get sick like every one else
and i dont feel well

my teeth are hurting
and i have to get sugary

i push myself to the point im crying in pain
take the chance off hurting my self to help others

but yet i get told not again
that im worthless
i hold everyone back
the list goes on

i cry for many of reason
so dont judge when you dont know the reason

you think it easy being me

im sweat and kinda
sometimes im happy and i show it
helping others when their in need
always trying to do the right thing
give people complements to brighten there day

but then you come around and destroy who i am
you make me doubt
you make me feel so small

and then i cant be who i want to be

why do you do think its so easy being me

time goes on

friends move
they have bigger and butter thing that come alone

time goes on

they live there life
they get married and have kids

time goes on

they grow old with there loved one

time goes on

but the time that we sent have great times together
will always stay with me and they will

go on with time as time goes on

in high school
i would have never guessed i would have 2 best friends

you could have told me
but i would would have looked at you and said
you must be crazy and lieing

im glad i was never told because it came so much sweeter the way it did

It makes since to me

I come from a town how if your not from here your nothing

They think there the best of the best

Come to find out it was the colonie for the royal they think there royal oh its funny

We go over the same stuff in school for years

What's the point
We already know this

Teacher tell us to say awake
But how can you went you already know the stuff

Maybe if we didn't go over the same thing over and over again

We would have less years in school

You never know what you have till its gone

You take the time for granted

But once you realize it gone
You worried
you panic

And you do all you can to get it back

You said to doutb you'll never see it again
You think back to the wonderful memories you had

Every little thing make you want to cry

But the moment you get it back  
You hold it close and cry
You tell yourself I'll never let it go again

It may seem like nothing
But to someone it means the world

You stand there with your best friend
Know she's in trouble
Scared for her life planing on not going home

But yet you stand there telling there your coming home with me

You don't care about anything else

You just stand there holding them letting them cry but all you do is stand there holding knowing its means a lot

For when you know they don't get much
So you bring even the most simplest of things and yet they act like you gave them the world

No matter what you stand by there side

It may seem like nothing to everyone else
But to one person it means the world

Everyone's there own geek

There's your reading, science,history, math,gamer

There's so many

Yet we look at them like there different or that there a monster but why

There being them self's

Why are we making fun of them
When we should be like them

Being are self's

ive made my voice heard and it so wonderful


http://triadnc.twcnews.com/content/news/715812/onslow-co--schools-approves-redistricting-for-over-1-000-students­/

this is me doing something to try to help save me from moving im caitlyn

we as a commity need to stand up for what right

no one want to hear what we say about moving to a new school
they went in there with no open minds

http://www.jdnews.com/news/local/opposition-flares-at-school-district-hearing-1.423958#fb-root

th­at is me up there if i can do it you can to

You are my best friend

You a tuff strong beautiful smart young girl

When your give challenge you get through it

No matter what life thoughts at you
You get through it

You are my best friend
You are my sister

And I'm proud to say it

I love you

By the way there's a attack on titan movie coming out and your going to see it with me this summer

To me I could care less if I'm popular or not
But to more high school kids it means the the world

To me I could care less about what's the newest trend for clothes
But to high school kids it means life

To me being popular is nothing because I would rather know I fit in a group who excepts for me

To me the newest trend is nothing because I'm thank full for what I have

To me being myself  is the most important not something I'm not

season 2 comes out in 2016

i cant stand it
you don't fallow the book on the ending
yet you make me 2 years to see season 2

i know they don't fallow the book
but yet its so good

there trying to **** be to me by making we wait so long for attack on titan

my life was over or at least i felt like that
the only person i called a friend had betrayed me

mom made me help at that camp to get over my loss

and that's where i met the 3 boys who would change my life forever

you made me forget what i had lost
made me happy once more

i ended up dating one and he ended up being my first kiss
he is now my best friend no matter how much his mom hates be we will still always be best friends

another end up being like my older brother
we may not talk much be still he there for me i could be in tears and he'll say with me as long as he can to help me when i'm down

the last was one who has made the biggest impact
once i though of him as my older brother but he never really was he was more as a best friend it was after 2 years did i found out he liked me and liked him and now where dating

these 3 have made the biggest impact on my life and i'm glad i met them

i'm weird
i'm hyper
i'm crazy

yet you all love me

your my best friends
your my wife's
your my sisters and brothers

you never treated me different
you took me in when i was new and showed me the ropes
after i learn i showed the other new people the ropes

i love you all for you are my good friends

I can't wait till your here
But you will be here one day

I want to hold you in my arms
And so does Chris

You will be are little girl
We love you already as if you were here

I can't wait for the day you come

You are perfect to use
We can't wait to see you, hold you, and love you

You are, are little girl

Bell we love you

I don't want to change

I like where I am and don't want to move
I may not like here but I don't want to move

You tell me I have to change school because theres to many kids
But there has always been to many kids

I like it here with my friends
I've know this my hole life

I dont want to go there
They will beat me and can't do a thing about it

I'm weak and fralie and you want to send me to a school where you have to tuff and strong

There just going to eat me alive

Please don't make me go

how can you keep playing

you sit there acting all lovely on me
and yet you don't fell bad when you have a girlfriend

its bad when non of your  girlfriends can trust you
because you play them along like every other girl

but when i catch you in a lie
all you do is shrug and don't give a care

i don't know about you but at least i know what loyalty is

because down the road you just going to stay the same way never change and ill be the one married and have loving kids

but i guess you just don't know what love is

im so hungry
and sleepy
cant i just have a lazy day?

i want to get away

i know i don't belong
so why should i stay

11 years in the dreadful place is long enough

over years i had gotten friends
some left, some moved, some just didn't care  

my wish is to get way form this dreadful
where i know i don't belong

i know what hold for me now
but i don't know what hold's later

my life can change within a matter of moments
my life could come crashing down

my life was some in ruins

but yet you were there to make me smile and happy
to pick me up when im down

its happened once it will happen again
but yet you stay

im glad we met and im glad where together

Time to say goodnight

I know I'll see you in them morning but I don't want you to go

I feel safe loved and wanted
I Don't want that to go

I'll miss you and dream of you but I still don't want you to go

I know it time to say goodnight

To start if off right we picked it together

A movie we want to see

Action for him so when i get scared he can protect me

A time where I can give him the first kiss he's always dreamed

And a girl for him who he like for 2 years can finally be his

The new year has come and I'm so excited

My first true date in 2 days with a guy I like to start it off right

An imaginary kiss since he couldnt be here

But the thought count and so does it

Christmas time is a time for family not greed

Its a time to help thoughts in need not a to see what you can get for free

Its a time to have fun not be a Grinch

You have a heart so at least use it once

Being sick is like having a brother or sister

There easy to get
But hard to get ride of

You think you got ride of it but it pops up out of the middle of no where

There also annoying and a pain

Being sick is a pain In the ****

You can't get anything done
No friends to hang out with
Have to stay in bed

The only thing good to come out is you get to stay in bed all day be lazy

Being sick on Christmas day now that's just plain eveil

The day I turn 18
Is the day you will be free

The plan I have made is to work and save money
Have a house where you can stay

You will finally be free of your chains

You'll finally have a place to go
A place you can call home
One you don't have to fake or be afraid

A place of peace with me

Sister/best friends forever

You want to help but all you can do is feel weak
Knowing your best friend is in pain

You want to help but can

Know the pain they have to go though everyday
The fake smile they put on for everyone else
Seeing the tear they hold back

All you can do is watch with tears in your eyes knowing you want to help do all you can but you can't

You tell me you love me
I tell you I'm in love with you

For month I said this
One day you said you might be inlove with me

You ask me to go to your house to hang out
You hold me, cuddle with me, kissed me, made out with me, told me you missed me

It felt like old times
your family was happy to see me everyone missed me

Then two weeks later when I tell you that your the one for me that your the one I hold dear

You tell me sometimes feeling change
And walked away

I cryed and your friend came and hugged me 3 times

You left me crying feeling like I'm dead inside

You brake my heart once same on you
You lost a worderful girl

You brake my heart twice same on me
I thought I could trust you again but it turns out I can't

If it was meant to be then they'll come back but don't force it

You may say you are worth crying over
But truth be told you are worth it

You are someone I hold close to my heart
You are my best friend really I'm sister

If anything were to happen to you it would **** me for you mean so much to me

I would do anything make sure your safe and where no one can hurt you

Let you be able to be happy
Not just put on a fake smile but I real one

I sit here hungry everyday but I give up my lunch so you can eat

I do things to make you happy even if it means to give up my own happynis

I would give up every present under the tree just to get you one

I stay by your side even though you have another

Just once I want to hear you say you mean the world to me and I'm glad you stayed ever though I don't desever you

Its when you hold it in so long that your finally glad to let out that it feels so good

Like when you have to *** bad and you have to hold it

My heart is not a toy

It got played way to much
They wound it up again and again till it broke
And just left acted like it was nothing

You left it broke
Didn't care if someone would fix it

Because for all you did was wait till It was happy and fix to play it again and again till it broke

I want you so much
But yet you have another

You hug me tell me you love me and miss me
And I stay by your side no matter what

But how long can I stay when I know I'm crying on the inside and it tars me to pieces before it kills me

I wanted so bad to be able to hold someone close
But it never happens

I have to walk though life seeing others happy because they have someone and I don't

I cry myself to sleep know I just want someone anyone that way I could finally hold someone close

We say I love you but do you mean it

We are young and how no idea what life will do for us
And yet here we are in high school saying I love you

How do we even know mean it or what its supost to fell like

When you haven't eaten for a few hours you say your starving
When I kid who hasn't eaten in days they say I'm hungry

When it come time for you to eat you stuff your self and waste the rest
When it comes time for them to eat they hand it out so other kids can eat even if it only means a little

Greed will end us all

All people see is money
They never lower there prices
Don't want to pay for stuff they don't have to
Save on everything

So now people can barely get by

People never help others in need
They don't stop to help
Keep to them selfs never donate
Keep everything for them self

So now other people stop helpping for they never got there help in need

Greed will end us all

You see a homeless person and you think trash
I see a homeless person and think I feel bad for them life has been to hard for them

You see a little kid and think annoying
I see a little kid and think he only wants someone to play with

You see me and think what a loser
I see you and think how cruel

What you think and I think are way different

The true meaning of Christmas
We have all for gotten

People think its all about giving the right gift
Or
What will I get

And if its not something we want or under the tree
we get upset

But really I could do without the presents
For I only want to help people in need
Make a kid happy and smile

For the true meaning of Christmas is to help those in need and not what anything in return

its funny how are mind tells us things that we dont even understand

when we have a dream or night mare we see people who we do not know
or
people we have not seen in a long time

they show us dream that we dont under
nightmares we dont want to see

its funny how are minds tells us thing we dont understand

guys can sometimes be pain
well some

if you ask them something they say i don't know
if you try to hang around them they try to impress there friends
when you want to hang out there busy hanging out with them guys
you try to surprise them and they act like they don't care  

but when you get mad about all this stuff they act like they did nothing wrong

guy can sometime be a pain

why is it so hard to be myself

you have some people who want you to change
but then there's other people who want you to stay the same

people are all about what popular today
what cool and whats not
what you need to have when we know most of the time you don't

people always are trying to please everyone else
but them they forget to please them self

by them time everything is said and done almost everyone has forgotten about being them selves

why is it so hard to be me