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how i forget to cherish
these little moments
of our togetherness;
making an early meal
of sauteed vegetables
and eggs, "froached"
like i used to call them
when i was your little
chef and would bring
you breakfast on
special occasions,
and sometimes on
sundays, just because
it was sunday and dad
didn't have to leave
for work long before
the crack of dawn
even set its alarm.

we'd all sit in bed
together, squished
into sharing a cozy
comfort, sandwiched
between you two
and my old buddy
gladly the bear who
still sits on your bed
upstairs in his pink-
and-green striped
shirt.

but then i guess
somewhere along
the way i grew up;
the move happened--
i didn't visit gladly
anymore, or you
for that matter.

today you asked
me to get the big
jar -- the carnation
                      (top)
jar, from the
shelf of the kitchen
   cabinet while i
    explained my
oddly convoluted
thought process,
and we talked
about how my
granddad danced
you down the aisle
to django on a whim
of a kooky family friend,
and how i finally
realized how little
i actually know of you--
but that's normal.

i might be growing
up now, and i
might not visit
that little bear
anymore, but
what i never
really told you,
or anyone,
is that i have
my own now,
a blue one who
used to be called
blueberry, renamed
as joseph stalin,
because i'm a
big boy now,
and my sense
of humor dried
out long ago.

i may not be
your little chef
anymore, but
i can still make
you breakfast,
and bring it
to your bed on
sundays, and
sit with gladly,
and quietly chat
until late morning
like we used to
(never) do.
 Dec 2012 Caitlin Drew
Annie
Rain is stampeding your car, a misty haze indulging the sky
eating the buildings, and the neon lights
break with every misspoken word
that fumbles off my lips
But your silence is solicitous
because you know how it feels to love
and to be unrelenting with this dedication
but it is futile because just like the neon lights
it crumbles and burns out and you are here with nothing
but the consonants and vowels left unscathed
and delirious, jumbled in a pattern only the universe comprehends
but it is night and the rain will continuously fall
despite willing it not to
and you will persist to stay bound in your provincial
mindset, despite willing you not to
i will always be analyzing my brain sequences
because i am that science project that slipped your mind
that 5 dollar bill you misplaced
i am all of those desolate nights spent
staring at your stucco ceiling waiting for it
to blink or move or say something audible
it never does and it never will
and the audacity she believes she possesses
churns my head into an excuse to whisper
all those passive things
subtle seasonings that sprinkle on your eyelids
like lavender dust
the pit of my stomach is darkening, waves shatter the tranquility
because i know the storm is imminent and i can not
fathom how to protect everyone
from the sick grasp of the abhorrent events
that are about to choke your eardrums
I step into the cold night
and watch my breath dance on the stars.
A brief polka on Venus, and a slow jig on Mars.
Cupping my paws to my face,
I feel the heat of the dance
Its all over my nose and weaves through my hands
I dance, oh i dance in the snow round' my feet
till my toes hit the grass and my feet feel the heat

the heat grows and the dance speeds
not just a little, but in bounds
in bounds it proceeds!
My veins stop their flow
just to witness this show and this
makes my heart throb little to, and little fro.

I keep dancing you see, though the night
through the streets.
With my breath in the stars and the blocks
on repeat.

the dance rages in my brain,
it's a party it's insane.
I begin to lose my mind, engulfed in the dance
and all of a sudden I'm at her door,
this can't be by chance.

Then the dance stops and my feet hold their ground
I'm alone in the night, left and right.
There's no one around.
Just me and my breath, which is staggered and small
I laugh a nervous laugh, it sounds more like a bawl
What am i doing?!
I see my hand raise to chest height,
and i hear the dancing again
boom, bing, pow! into the night

I knock three times, matching the bump bump of my heart
and this dance of life proceeds to slowly rip me apart.
I turn around to take one last look at the night
it's beautiful it's wonderful it's an eye's delight
It's a dance in the sky, so vivid and starry
Then the door opens up,
and my minds blank

"I'm sorry"
Dreams of a lifetime that fade away in one day.
Dreams of a night that last a lifetime.

Between these extremes,
I saw a lifetime go away
While all my dreams turned into tears.

Everything that's left for me now
Is the shadow of our love
Hidden in our past
Because there is no sunshine.

The sun faded away...
With you, my dear.
Unhinging all my thoughts,
The shadow still come and haunt me.

The most beautiful of all the nightmares
To see the sunshine penetrates in your eyes
The look of an angel that disappears
When the moon is satisfied.

It's still night, my dear
Yet, I shall be dreaming
Beneath the shadow of the wind
That cannot take away this feeling...
Greater love have no man then the love for his woman.
That he protects her at all cost.
Even from friends, who means her no good.

To love her.
He applies all his dedication to her.
Go out of his way to please her.
She's his focus.
She's his goal.
He's out to show her no greater love will she come to know.

She's his heart.
She's his soul.
No greater love will she ever know.
Then the love he gives to her.

She's his world.
She's his girl.
His heart solely is sworn to her.
 Dec 2012 Caitlin Drew
Alice Kay
There it is...
i wrote everything i ever felt about everything
and gave it to the world
I don't know if it was worth it,
or ever will be.

Now it's almost worse...
because I'll be waiting
with knots in my stomach
until i get a response
I don't even know if i'll ever get one...
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