I am afraid
My lack of confidence
Makes me
*afraid

My heart bleeds.
Emotionally bleeds
My heartstrings are pulled tight.

You can do this.
It's no different than before
Well actually it is.

He's not there.
But he could be
No he can't.

I can do this.
It's ok to make a mistake.
I think.

I can't do it.
I'm gonna fail.
I get so nervous I can't breathe
I'm not gonna do it.
I can't
I won't..

I have to.
I have to.
I can.
I will..

Many people have asked me why I haven't done it
What I'm afraid of..

It's not just that I'm afraid
It's that I can't bear to accept the fact that he's gone.
That I have to fill his shoes
That I'm expected to.

I feel like maybe this is the one thing I can hold over his head.
Ha! You left and look that's what happened- it didn't sound right..

I don't know anymore myself.
But it all comes down to tomorrow.
We'll see what happens