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 Feb 2017 Cait Harbs
Akira Chinen
There was only the silence of words unspoken swimming in her tears and he understood every word as they hung like little black stars in the dark and as he pulled them down one by one to help ease her pain their sharp edges cut his fingers and through his bones and seeped into his soul and mixed with his own familiar aches and he knew he was falling alone and that in the end he would be only find disappointed and still all he could do was comfort her until the storm and darkness passed and she would find her hearts beauty again and be whole on her own and find her own ambitions and reason to smile and it would not be his fate for anything but to only be quietly in love and when her day to fly back into the world came he would then be surrounded by the silence of his words unspoken that swam in the tears she would never see him shed and he would still be falling and still be in love and would still find her his reason to dream and smile
 Feb 2017 Cait Harbs
xmxrgxncy
Is it bad that I hoped it was life threatening?
That I could die and it would all go away and I had my body to blame?
That it was like a suicide of sorts, but that I wouldn't be in trouble?

*Oh, the joys of mental illness.
It's as if you've never learned
The difference between yourself and what's wrong
Nothing has a meaning but aiming to please
Your very essence
Is in messure
Of self-displeasure
Forearms toned and defined  
From turning tables
And grating the rinds
While the rest of your body is starved of nutrients and sun
Cauterized your lips closed
When you tried to swallow it whole
 Feb 2017 Cait Harbs
claire
my face is too hot
my hands are too cold
a manifestation of the confusion
taking place inside of my head

i deserve better
i spend all of my time
trying to please them

what do i get in return?
distrust and disarray
what would i give up
to make this go away? i'd give
the heat and the cold

take both, it doesn't matter
not to me, not to them

i'm on guard all the time
if i let my smile slip
they think i'm depressed

if i smile too much
they think i'm hiding something

what would i give
for a plastic smile?
i'd give up my emotions
what would i give up
to make this go away? i'd give
the heat and the cold

take both, it doesn't matter
not to me,
certainly
not to them
written in about five minutes when i was really angry. maybe not my best work, but it made me feel better.
 Feb 2017 Cait Harbs
Gidgette
We two, ignorantly speaking
Of how fate and time brought us together
Whispering of words like eternity
And forever
Until the smell took over
Forcing us to see what fate really gave
We were merely two corpses thrown together
To save space in this mass grave
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