I once set down my pen,
and with free fists equipped,
a sword.
Utter savagery and violence,
the mantle I adorned.
It's long been sheathed
but woe is me
the living and the scorned.
Hands forever bloodied,
words immutably,
forlorn.

you,
breaking open hollow fragments
of the truths I trusted you with.
I can hear the plinking
of broken glass and promises,
pattering as if the rain
has become some sort of
fractured heartbeat.
they are small,
but they crack me upon impact
and you laugh when each echo
shatters my insides.

how can you not see
that I am trying to hide my face
for a *reason?
I do not want to admit that these
are tears,
and I do not want to pretend
that they aren't.
I just want you to notice,
to stop destroying everything
I gave to you
just long enough for me to breathe.
I need to breathe.

I need air, even if I don't want it.

This is fine, right here.

I will curl into myself
(savor my own warmth, for once)
and let go of my own fingertips.

There is a Buddhist proverb about loss.
when a vase breaks, do not become saddened
the vase was never going to survive
until the end of time.
In time, all things break, fall, leave, die
but it was all going to happen no matter what.
so when the vase cracks, shatters;
there has been no loss, only a fulfillment of destiny
In this way, all things make their end,
and their peace, with the earth

But there is one thing the Buddhists forgot
time
Yes it is true, that it is the course of all things
To leave ones life at some point.
And perhaps it is destiny indeed.
But there is loss.
Time cannot be brought back, replaced, or remade.
all of the time we were supposed to share is gone

In the end, time is also destined to run out.
Maybe time
Is the only noble loss to feel sad about.
No attachment to physical things;
Vases, cars, bodies, buildings, grass, or a book.
But rather an attachment
To the future- all of the hope and dreams of what's to come.

I am at peace with all of my losses
Except for that of time

I'll show you all the cracks,
in your feeble facade.
Just shortly before I see it erased,
with psychological grenades.
Don't you know?
I've got x-ray eyes,
They see into your heart
and find the skeletons you hide.
I don't require knives to see you filleted,
I'll verbally split your middle,
expose your doubts and your shames.
I'll flush out every fallacy,
stop the production.
My words and my mind will see your destruction.

big words
do not make you
smarter

Kaleidoscope eyes
spirals amber brown
meld and move, turn and groove
exquisite mandala art, they impart
colored rings, how they bring
your soul to me
so close