I am falling
back to where I used to be
except
you're not going to be there for me.
It hurts
knowing I was in love with an illusion
of what I thought you were,
knowing I am in love with a ghost,
knowing I am in love with someone
who doesn't exist.
It hurts
because I am still seventeen
and you were my friend
and you used me
and I'm still naive enough
to think that maybe you'll call
or maybe
I'll come home one day and see your car
and I'll see you
and you'll tell me it was a mistake
and you'll say you know what you want now
and you'll say you want me,
and you'll say you love me.
I guess I'm just deluded, right?
Stupid,
Psychotic,
Blind.
Let me tell you this:
I never wanted anything but you,
but you never wanted anything
other than my body
which I gave to you.
But it wasn't enough.
I wasn't enough for you.
*******
for making me feel worthless again.
*******
for making me think you were my friend.
*******
for not coming back to me.
I thought you were an angel
sent to save me,
to put me back together again.
I thought you were a masterpiece.
I thought I found God when I kissed you.
I thought that above all,
you would keep me safe,
you would protect me,
you would care about me.
But no,
you broke my ******* heart.
*******
for breaking my heart.

And your love,
tied like an anchor to my heart,
keeps sinking me deeper into you.

Your words have left me hopeful once again,
they seep into the cracks between each of my bones,
entering my bloodstream, through my veins,
creating a euphoric feeling I can't seem to shake.
My love for you grows each day,
I'll never leave your side,
I'll be here until the day I die,
I feel the weight of this beneath my ribs,
but I love the ache, it keeps me going,
it reminds me that you're here on this earth,
whether or not you are mine,
you make every day more beautiful,
your existence takes my breath away.

Follow me, don't look back.
Follow me to the other side, the other side of your serenity.
The other side of your sanctuary that you wish you could just hold on to a little bit longer.

The way you look is kind of sad, why do you look like that little humanoid?
I am your demon, but no need to be afraid once again. I'm taking you away you see, away from this depression, madness, horror, confusion, pain, and emotions. Look down, see how far up we are?

End this, end this now. You don't like it here so why are you living everyday in that hollow body?
Jump with no thoughts and it will be your last action ever with those legs of yours, free falling and falling and falling and falling from the clouds while the smile will slightly start to turn on to your face the closer and closer and closer and closer you get, darling. Listen to me once more, please? No one can bare you looking like that everyday, neither can you.

Where are you going? I thought we had a deal that you where going to finally do it?
Fine, walk away from your demon once again, you can't keep doing that forever. One day you'll listen to me, I swear.